Jul 29 2008
When You’re Living On Island Time, Who Cares If It’s Borrowed?
So anyway, apparently I own some island in the Persion Gulf — a big tourist spot with the Middle Eastern crowd or something. I quote from their website:
Kish Island is a resort island lapped by the sheltered waters of coral-edged lagoons, home to many of the world's spices of reef fish. Snorkeling in the Kish Island is amongst the best in the world, whilst scuba diving offers an even more spectacular insight of life beneath the waters.
Kish lies like a pearl across the turquoise waters of the Persian Gulf and is a heaven of peace and tranquility fringed by sandy beaches and coral reefs vivid with colorful fish.
Pretty freaking sweet, huh?
Umm … well no, I haven't checked to see if it's ACTUALLY my island … but it IS named after me (Kish Island), and that's pretty compelling evidence, right?
Umm … well yeah, I guess it IS in Iran, but so the fuck what?!? Now that President G.W. Cockmunch is almost out of office, we're not still buying into that whole 'Axis Of Evil' bullshit, right?
Dude! … C'mon!! … It's an island!! … And it's got my name!! It's GOTTA be mine!! I'M RICH!!! IT'S MINE, ALL MINE!!!
Conthequences schmonthequences, as long as I'm rich!!
Um, I told you about your island more than a month ago and you did nothing to claim it. So considering how I am Persian, gave you ample notice and was ignored, I now claim Kish as my own touristy retreat. I won’t change the name, because I’m nice like that. You can stop by and visit with appropriate prior notice.