May 31 2007
American Airlines - Putting The “We’re A Bunch of Assholes” Back Into Customer Service
Little did I realize that my posting a picture from the movie "The Terminal" yesterday would be so prophetic.
For the uninitiated, in that movie, Tom Hanks' character is left stranded in an airport terminal because neither the destination he's going nor the place he came from will take him. So he lives in the terminal (thus the movie name, for any fucktards not following along).
It is now 06:30 Pacific Time, and I have been in LAX for about 9 hours now. Gosh, their floors are comfortable.
I tried to check in with American Airlines, with whom I'm flying, about an hour ago.
Not so much.
As mentioned in my last post, you need to have proof of a return flight from Singapore before they'll let you into Singapore.
Okay, fine, I got it.
I decided to fly via American Airlines based on the recommendation of my friend, who said their "One World Alliance" is worth it (to earn the "flight miles"). Okay, fine, they're more expensive than EVERYONE else that flies (except Lindsey Lohan, of course).
But when I went to buy a return flight (even though I plan on keeping it open), I decided to save $300 by reserving a return ticket via China Air rather than with AA.
And when I spoke to an AA representative yesterday to confirm everything (I don't practice law any more, but I still have that anal-retentive streak about some things, so fucking shoot me), I was told that would be no problem — American would simply confirm the return flight with China Air.
Errr … not so much.
The group of bitches working the American Airlines counter here in LAX won't issue me my boarding pass without a "printout" of my China Air ticket.
This despite the fact that I whipped out my laptop, showed them the actual email flight confirmation from China Air. They require a printout.
Not that much of an issue, you may think. Right? Wrong.
Apparently, after talking with both the initial reservation agent and her supervisor — both of whom look like they've been hopped up with the other dregs of Sunset Strip for the past 2 days — I was told that, not only do they NOT have a printer I can use to print out the requisite "return ticket", but they also don't have email to which I could email them said ticket as "proof."
I realized virtually immediately this was a battle I would not win, and I didn't want to end up in handcuffs like Gay Focker.
So I took the next logical route — I went over to China Air, whose telephone representatives told me they would gladly print out my return flight confirmation.
Problem? Their reservation desk doesn't open here in LAX for another several hours.
So I took the next step — I called the American Airlines "customer service" number.
Big mistake. Apparently American Airlines doesn't DO customer service.
I say this because I then dealt with the BIGGEST FUCKING ASSHOLE I have ever spoke with — one "Mr. B.C. Carter" — who said that although he works for American Airlines reservations, he does not do "customer service" nor does American even have a "customer service for this type of thing."
His position in this regard stood resolute in the face of the facts I pointed out to him — 1. I am a customer; and 2. I need fucking service!! (Although he wasn't quite sure how to answer my question as to just what do they do customer service for).
Well, I suppose I owe him props for being such a grandiose dickhead in the face of such overwhelming facts and logic to the contrary.
I can not really leave the airport to go to a Kinko's or something to print out the treasured "return flight confirmation" because I have oversized luggage that won't fit in a taxi cab. Similarly, there apparently are NO printers available in all of the LAX facilities.
As I write this, I am waiting for a "fax and copy" store to open in the bowels of the international terminal. Let's hope they may be able to help me. And let's hope they open before my flight leaves.
Fucking American Airlines can suck my right nut — right after their "customer service representatives" are done fucking me in the ass this morning.
UPDATE: No such luck, I'm still stuck here. Fucking assholes.
UPDATE TO UPDATE: Muuuch better now. I wound up having to email my "return" itinerary to a buddy back in Miami (my best buddy in PHX was still asleep, bless his hippy looking heart), who then faxed it to QUANTAS airline (the next counter over), who then printed it out for me to present to AA. The new rep I had at AA was a sweetheart, but still didn't quite make up for the cluster-fuck from the early morning. I'm at the gate waiting to board my fully booked flight to Tokyo.
I guess I'll be meeting a few new "single serving friends" today — 20 hours worth.
Fuckers.
Yikes! Customer service. Hopefully you made your flight. Travel and surf, man! Please post pictures. I’ve posted a picture of my new 8′0″ which I will be riding this weekend with a shit-eating grin on my face.
Jesus. How you managed to NOT go completely insane and simply start randomly strangling people is beyond me. You have the patience of a saint.
Fly safe, man. Good luck, and remember, once you get to Singapore - just because it looks and sounds like a woman… well, you’ll figure it out.
Seriously though - have a fantastic time.
next time, try playing soccer in the terminal. in the middle of the night. while the janitors stare at you like youre a raving lunatic. thank god it was pre 9/11. the national gaurd might have shot my poor soccer ball. at least the mcdonalds that is the only thing open 24 hours is alllll the way across the airport from the international terminal!!
WOW.
I got nothin’ else. Fly safe, wrap your junk, and may the surf gods be with you… Cuz apparently the AA gods want you in hell.
Yo Matt! The Eastern sojourn begins. I wish you safe passage and insane barrels. The Surf Prescriptions will deliver once you get past the squirrelly take offs.
If ever there was an excuse to just just stuff a dirty sock down someone’s throat…
What a bunch of fucktards! What is with airlines these days? You should read what happened to Mrs. Shark when she tried flying United Airlines this week, I posted it on the Kang Phorum. Absolutely unbelievable! My parents also flew home last week and their airline lost their luggage, and it’s still lost! It’s probably on your plane or some shit like that.
No wonder airlines are going bankrupt, nobody wants to put up with the hassle of having to put up with their customer dis-service.
HA ha…I just stumbled across this posting now and *man*, sorry to hear about your luck.
For what it’s worth, in a different context (non-airline) I ran into a similar scenario - an agent, standing at a desk, said to me verbatim, “But sir, this is just Customer Service desk. [sic] We don’t do customer service here! You have to call the 800 number.”
Common sense, it seems, is not so common, and I don’t believe much has changed in the airline industry over the past little while.
Any updates on how the trip went *after* you got out of LAX?
Keijo, better late than never, huh?
Thanks for commenting, I had almost forgotten about the bullshit I went through getting out to Southeast Asia. Funny, other than the random customs guy looking for a US$20 ‘transit’ bribe here and there, I’ve not had any similar problems once I left the U.S. — yet. And people wonder why I haven’t come back to the States.
As for your question as to the remainder of my ‘trip’ — I’m assuming you checked the rest of this blog and know that I’m still living out here, although I’ve since moved from Singapore to Bangkok — which I absolutely LOVE.
However, despite all that Bangkok has to offer, those offerings do NOT include surfing. So I leave again tomorrow back to Indonesia for another month.
So I guess you could say the trip has been going well. Thanks for asking.