A Bowl of Stupid

(Kuta, Lombok - low tide, sunset)

If nobody has noticed, I have, for the most part, been using album and/or song titles or lyrics for the titles of my posts for the past couple months — as an homage to my love of music but failure to post much with respect to said music. I've been getting these titles randomly, and some of the words or lyrics just seem to fit. Such is the case with the above title (and no, it's not the title of a Kelly Clarkson song).*

This title kinda hit me right between the eyes when I was actually looking for another one to use for a different post I'm writing as a summary of the last part of my July Indo trip and my diving trip to Malaysia (which I haven't otherwise had the time to write about).

Why "In Between Dreams?" Because that's exactly how I feel right now.

I can't fully describe it, but the traveling is (obviously) changing me.

When I was surfing down in the middle of nowhere, I was trying - with varying degrees of success - to simply live life in the moment and enjoy the experience. That was, however, obviously tempered with the other traveling concerns of safety, money, and logistics (traveling and living arrangements).

I suppose that's typical to all traveling — and all travelers. Likewise, it's also typical to take in as much as possible whist on holiday because people know they will be returning to the "regular lives" in a matter of only days, weeks, or whatever. Plus, whenever anyone is on holiday, they're always thinking about returning home to their family, their friends, their work — their regular lives. A holiday is just that … a holiday.

However, I'm now in a consistent "state of travel." Things are starting to feel a bit backwards for me.

Once again, it's difficult to express, and probably harder to understand by anyone who's never done this, but I have for the most part been following my plan of going to Indonesia, Thailand, or wherever, and then returning to Singapore (which I consider a "home base") for a week or two to essentially "catch my breath" before returning to my prior, or next destination.

The ramifications of this are greater than I first imagined.

Yes, Singapore is a bastion of civilization where I have been able to replenish my "needs" — electricity, hot running water, shopping malls, movie theatres, bars, clubs, etc. However, I feel now that I am quite literally "in between dreams" (or perhaps it's vice versa, and I'm "in between realities").

The best way I can explain it is that I'm starting to feel that my time here in Singapore is itself a "vacation" of sorts. I have all the luxuries of the modern world here, but I can't fully engage because I'm mentally preparing myself for the imminent loss of those things for at least one more month (I return back to Indo [Timur] in a couple days). My whole paradigm is changing.

Regardless, what I can say though, is this: It's about time, I've been here in Sing, taking in the luxuries of the city long enough. I'm looking forward to returning to a less complicated lifestyle — when the sleeper will awaken.**

*Extra credit to anyone who can name the reference.

**Extra-extra credit for getting the ridiculously easy movie/book reference.

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