Feb
28
2007
Truth or Fiction? At This Point, It’s Really Just Too Close To Call.
Featured News of The Apocalypse:
Giuliani To Run For President Of 9/11 — If elected, Giuliani would inherit the duties of current 9/11 President George W. Bush, including making grim facial expressions, seeing the world’s conflicts in terms of good and evil, and carrying a bullhorn at all state functions. (Via The Onion)
More News of The Apocalypse:
Supreme Court Strips Al Gore of Oscar; Declares George W. Bush Winner — Fresh off his Oscar victory for Best Documentary, Al Gore has been stripped of his title by the U.S. Supreme Court. George W. Bush was declared the new winner despite the fact that he had not received a single vote or even watched a movie in the last decade except for Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. (Via BuzzFlash)
White House: U.S. Invaded Iraq ‘Under U.N. Authorization’ — In an effort to push back against congressional efforts to rescind the original 2002 Iraq War resolution, White House press spokesman Tony Fratto on Friday argued the United Nations had authorized the initial U.S. invasion of Iraq. (Via Think Progress)
Anna Nicole Judge To Decide “Jesus Tomb” Case — Although the tomb was found in a Jerusalem suburb, legal experts agree that Judge Larry Seidlin has jurisdiction, since he also presides over a suburb of Jerusalem — Broward County, Florida. (Via The Satirical Political Report)
Wall Street Blood Bath — Wall Street fell sharply Tuesday, joining a global stock decline sparked by growing concerns that the U.S. and Chinese economies are cooling and that U.S. stocks are about to embark on a major correction. The Dow Jones industrials dropped more than 180 points. (Via Forbes)
Washington, D.C. Outpacing Miami In Race to Join Third-World — Twelve-year-old Washington, D.C. boy, Deamonte Driver, died of a toothache Sunday. A routine, $80 tooth extraction might have saved him. If his mother had been insured. If his family had not lost its Medicaid. If Medicaid dentists weren’t so hard to find. If his mother hadn’t been focused on getting a dentist for his brother, who had six rotted teeth. By the time Deamonte’s own aching tooth got any attention, the bacteria from the abscess had spread to his brain. (Via Washington Post and Crooks & Liars)
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