Sep 08 2007
Windmills
Tell me thy company, and I'll tell thee what thou art."
-Miguel de Cervantes
I'm supposed to be using this time providing my loyal readers with soaring tales of the early stages of my travels throughout Southeast Asia — the surf, the islands, the people, my new computer, the food.
But quite honestly, I really don't feel like doing that right now.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I can keep my mouth shut for 2 goddamn minutes when I'm asked in person about the places I been in the past few months. However, I just can't seem to put pen to paper (as it were) to satisfy my promises to friends and family - describing in detail for them the treasures I've seen to satiate desires both subtle and gross. Indeed, even my love of this very blog has, to some extent, fallen by the wayside.
At first, I promised myself that I would write regularly about my travels — if nothing else than but as a reminder to myself when looking back in later years.
The blog would also serve as a reminder of my initial dedication to take full advantage of this 'once in a lifetime' opportunity. An opportunity which, in my astounding good fortune, the fates bestowed upon me — to travel the world unfettered by significant economic and emotional ties (although I am not, by any means, "rich"; nor have I completely forgotten my friends and family on the other side of the world).
In making that initial promise to myself, I truly believed (and still do so) that taking several years off from life to explore the world, and experience new peoples, cultures, and places … that this will eventually make me a better person — which is ultimately the only thing we can really control in our lives, right?
However, in so doing, I knowingly discarded numerous other equally gratifying 'once in a lifetime' opportunities that may have otherwise been available to me, or which, then unbeknownst to me, may have presented themselves to me at a later time. Primarily, although I consciously decided to travel for several years on my own, I'm now starting to feel the bite of that decision in that, but for this blog and the occasional Instant Message (in large part), I've not really been able to personally share the experiences I've had, especially with someone I care about — which understandably diminishes them on some level.
Moreover, one of the other problems I've faced so far is the knowledge that the closest thing I have to a 'home' is my mate's extra room here in Singapore, where he so generously lets me store my shit while I'm traveling. Indeed, living out of a suitcase, which in itself is fine, may possibly be starting to take its toll after having lived in one place for so many years.
It may be that this will eventually beg the question: 'At what point does this global search for new experiences and spiritual enlightenment devolve into an endless quixotic reconnaissance mission for windmills?"
But then again, maybe not. It could also be that I'm just acting like a little bitch.
Shit, it's only been several months since I left the States in the first place. Perhaps it's just been a particularly frustrating week. Or perhaps it just takes time to grow comfortable living a full-time 'gypsy' lifestyle (since, unlike all the other backpackers who frequent this area, I have no real 'home' to return to if and when I decide to stop traveling).
Regardless, at this stage, my ego alone wouldn't allow such issues to impede the progress of the '07-'08 "Stupid World Tour." As such, I'm heading out for a couple months on Tuesday — sidelining the surfing aspect of this whole venture, and traveling overland up through Malaysia and Thailand, up through Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, and Myanmar on my way (hopefully) to Nepal by mid to late October.
I'll be here still for several more days, during which time, I'll write some more about my last trip to Rote, Indonesia (where, among other things, my hosts lovingly gutted the goat we were having for dinner right in front of us). I also plan to be traveling through places with electricity and internet access - so I can update on a more regular basis than once per month.
