May 03 2007
Preparing To Skedaddle — Part III
It’s been about 45 days now since I signed the contract to sell my place here in Miami Beach.
In that time, I’ve made most of the necessary arrangements to leave Miami — I turned off my utilities, I consolidated my back accounts, I bribed the requisite Miami-Dade County officials to get a visa back into the United States, I relinquished my pseudo-Cuban status in favor of American citizenship, and I’ve made all other necessary arrangements for living abroad (including today’s purchase of this beautiful, brand-spanking-new epoxy Surf Prescription surfboard pictured below).
So obviously, after 45 days notice, my friends here in Miami just realized that I’m leaving next Wednesday. I should have expected it — they’re all on “Cuban time” (an inside joke for anyone who has ever lived here).
And naturally, after being provided such “short notice,” they are now lobbying me to stay for another several days, despite the fact I’ve already made plans to meet other friends in Vegas and/or Los Angeles (and by Los Angeles, I mean whatever offramp drainage-ditch that Manny calls his “lair”) before I leave for Singapore.
Ahh, so many people to offend, so little time.
6 Responses to “Preparing To Skedaddle — Part III”
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, waitaminute……Jayne said nothing about bringing washed up ex-lawyer surfers that are on a vision quest with them. Man! Now I’ve gotta change our plans from a five star restaraunt and theatre, to bean dip and pooka shells.
At least now I don’t have to find Himalayan midget strippers for Chez.
Awww, that’s so sweet. I love you too, Manny.
And BTW, Jayne reads this – so “ixnay on the imalayanhay idgetay ippersstray” (but don’t forget to still pick ‘em up, okay there, Zoolander).
Don’t forget to buy kidnap and extortion insurance or better yet, hire a RIsk Control firm to rescue you when you do get into trouble:
http://www.crg.com/default.aspx
Ever seen that movie Proof of Life? That shit happens all the time amigo.
yeah- thanks for that, Manny.
and we can always leave the washed-up surfer in the car while we eat, you know.
That board’s gonna rock. I’m the lucky neighbor that got to cop a feel.
OK, I’m on CP time — that’s “colored people” for those of us of the darker persuasion. CP meant colored people long before Cuban time but that’s another story. Anyhoo, I’m still late and not believing this moving thing.
Dude, what happens to the ‘bowl’ while you’re doing all this traveling? Please don’t leave us in the hands of your crazy friends again!
Vanessa (in denial)