Jan 03 2007
Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
I have always had problems relating with people due to my offbeat sense of humour. It is very dry, sardonic, and often times, unintelligible humour. In addition, I never let up with the snarkasm (as I like to call it), and I tend to make fun of everyone everywhere.
My sister, whom I have known for 37 years now, STILL often times does not know whether or not I'm making fun of her, and often, if I'm even joking in the first place. Indeed, during all of 2004, she actually thought I was a huge fan of Sean Hannity, Alan Colmes, and the rest of the knuckle draggers at FOX News (not you though, Bill, you're still my hero).
Because of my somewhat unique sense of humour, I often times have difficulty finding women with whom I can relate, and who will not end up trying to smother me whilst I sleep. I also have difficulty relating with my many of my friends, sometimes my best of friends, because they too do not share the same fondness for sarcasm and the accompanying vague cultural analogies as do I.
After 37 years, I have come to terms with, and I have even grown to like the fact that I often alienate people with my insults, sarcasm, and utter fascination with shiny objects and small balls of twine. That's why I find it more than a little disconcerting to have recently found that there are apparently several other people out there who, even if they do not share my affinity for twine (why, I have no idea; go ask them), they apparently share the same angry, pointless, obscure sense of humour as I.
With that huge unnecessary introduction as a backdrop, I just wanted to point out a few blogs I have come across recently that contain content which, if I had the creativity to produce it myself, I would post on this site. As an aside, I find it equally disconcerting to note that at least 2 of these blogs are written by Television producers, which says all kinds of weird stuff about the entertainment industry. In no particular order:
- Uncooked Meat;
- Votar Says;
- Deus Ex Malcontent;
- Dinky Chicken Shorts (recently returned from hiatus);
- This Is Hogshit; and
- The entire cast of Pajiba.
It also bears noting that the personal blogs of celebs John Mayer and Ryan Reynolds are also pretty fucking clever, but they don't count since they're rich.
Gosh… I’m blushing. At least, I think I’m blushing. I might just be red from uncontrolled rage. I get the two confused. Also, if you’re going to rip on Hannity and Combs, I’d prefer if you don’t link to my blog. Anyone who doesn’t have the common sense… nay, the common *decency* to accept them as the voice of sanity in this world gone mad… well, I don’t think I can support your blog. So while I appreciate your support, your criticism of those two revolutionary lunatic pigfuckers cannot be tolerated.
Did I say lunatic pigfuckers? I meant visionary geniuses.
No… pigfucker was right.
Actually, they prefer to call it “interspecies erotica.”
Listen pal, if it looks like a pigfucker, smells like a pigfucker, and… well…if it fucks goddamn pigs, then it’s a pigfucker.
I know, I know, this is the kind if literate brilliance you’ve come to expect from me.
Well, you know what Jack Burton always says … “Give me your best shot. I can take it.”
Hey man thanks for the cross-blog promotion!
Honestly, except for my friend Chez and his wife, I did not think that anyone even ever took a look at it.