May 01 2007
The 100 Greatest F’ing Movie Lines Of All Time
While sitting here waiting for the hallucinations from the typhoid fever and malaria immunization shots to kick in, I was perusing VH1's Best Week Ever, which itself was referencing the latest article from Premiere Magazine entitled "The 100 Greatest Movie Lines."
The Premiere article purportedly describes … well, the best movie of all time (to which Adam Winer has added his own jocular commentary).
While all the quotes set forth in both the respective articles are fine enough, given my affinity for the more "colorful" aspects of the English language, I thought it appropriate to list the best of those movie quotes as I think they were originally intended (prior to interference by the now-deceased "Satan's Cocksucker"), in no particular order:
- "Fuck you! I'll be back." — The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in The Terminator (1984)
- "Life is a banquet, and most poor cocksuckers are starving to death." — Mame (Rosalind Russell) in Auntie Mame (1958)
- "I see motherfucking dead people." — Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) in The Sixth Sense (1999)
- “I gave her my heart, and that bitch gave me a fucking pen.” — Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) in Say Anything (1989)
- "You fucking assholes! You're tearing me apart!" — Jim Stark (James Dean) in Rebel Without a Cause (1955)
- "You're gonna need a bigger fucking boat, you asshole." — Brody (Roy Scheider) in Jaws (1975)
- "Come back, Shane! You owe us child support, you cheap motherfucker!" — Joey Starrett (Brandon De Wilde) in Shane (1953)
- "Bond. James Fucking Bond." — Sean Connery in Dr. No (1962)
- "Of all the motherfucking gin joints in all the god-damn towns in all the fucking world, she walks into mine." — Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) in Casablanca (1942)
- "Pay no attention to that asshole behind the curtain." — The Wizard of Oz (Frank Morgan) in The Wizard of Oz (1939)
- "I'm the king of the motha' fucking world!" — Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) in Titanic (1997)
- "Here's looking at you, you cheating whore." — Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) in Casablanca (1942)
- "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a shit." — Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) in Gone With the Wind (1939)
Yes, I know - this post is prime material to add to my writing portfolio, right next my legal CV and that picture I have of Rachael Ray and a goat (c'mon, how the hell did you think she got that cooking gig?).
If I've missed any good ones, your additions and suggestions are welcome.
(Via Best Week Ever … sorta)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - “….Motherfucking snakes, I hate motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking pit!!…” (see what I did there? I tied it to Snakes on a Plane. wow.)
Dude, you know I love you (in a completely hetero way). But you need to get a hobby.
It’s hard for me to love Best Week Ever, since I went to high school with one of their guys and he was a TOTAL dipshit.
I’m going to send over each and every one of those critics of my Malcontent who insist that he ruins his arguments because he uses such bad language in his postings.
You can deal with them over here, and watch them cry because you said “shit.”
“Luke, i am your motherfucking father. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. I had sex with your mom.”
“Are you a good fucking witch, or a bad fucking witch?”
“I’m not a fucking witch at all. I’m fucking Dorothy Gale from fucking Kansas.”
“Oh. Well, is that cocksucker the witch?”
“Who, Toto? Toto’s my fucking dog!”
“Listen, pigtails, you don’t want to be taking that tone of fucking voice with me. You’ve been in my town for five fucking minutes and you’ve already fucking killed somebody with a fucking house. So I’d think that someone in your situation would want to take a more circumspect attitude. Now somebody get the gimp to wipe up that blood.”
“Charlie, don’t fucking surf!”
-Colonel Kilgore