D, Didn’t mean for it to sound harsh, quite the contrary — I sometimes forget, and need to be reminded that I’ve got people backing me up. Cheers mate.

I’m sorry. I was under the impression you were going there to you know, WORK! Now you’re telling me you’ve gone from one vacation lifestyle to another? There’s a symphony of tiny violins playing, just for you.

Kuta, Bali is STILL the biggest shithole I’ve ever been to, and the rest of the island is a tourist trap, ranking among the top 5 OTHER shitholes I’ve been to in the world (yes, even including southern India). I don’t know what Eastern block country you’re from or where else you’re comparing it to, mate, but Balangan is also mess — a bunch of tweaked out Euro-trash types trying to learn how to surf one of the most mediocre waves in Indonesia, on a dirty, COMPLETELY warang filled beach?

Nah … still not really my idea of paradise, mate.

And as for your comment re: “off the beaten track”? You may want to check your facts. — Why don’t you check out my latest posts to find out where I’m living now — where REAL paradise is, ya’ knucklehead.

just found your blog, i was looking for tattoo ideas… (yours look v. cool) anyways, real interesting and inspiring read, i have been planning in my mind the great escape from work over here in uk and am thinking that if i work hard for next few years i can make a few moves (financially/investments/savings) and then like mark twain said ‘Explore. Dream. Discover’.

Reason being, i dont feel fulfilled, but you are so right “Because no matter where I go, I’m always there –- and therefore, it’s always the same. And it’s always wrong.”

What an insightful statement, you may be tired, you may be fed up, but you have grown!.. your problems go with you, this is true, but i bet you’ve ironed out a few of them…

having read a lot of your previous posts and then having read your most recent i was a bit shocked to hear your unhappiness, however i guess it makes sense, the grass is never really greener and i read once something like “you try to reach the other shore only to find that when you arrive it is the same’…..

here’s some quotes i found for you (and myself):

“The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.”

“Master your past in the present, or your past will master your future.”

“Our outer life reflects back to us the way we think, feel and behave. The outer world is all effects. Go to the source inside for all of life’s treasures.”

So perhaps there’s still some ’stuff’ to be put to rest, that the outer world just cant resolve, accepting, forgiving, letting go and moving forward away from painful memories that are probably not dealt with need to get the hell out of your head and heart, you deserve better amigo… you’ve got some of your stuff out in the open (thru this blog) perhaps more needs to flow (privately)…

“Fall seven times get up eight.”

“A person’s worth is contingent upon who he is, not upon what he does, or how much he has. The worth of a person, or a thing, or an idea, is in being, not in doing, not in having.” – Alice Mary Hilton

“Happiness isn’t getting what you want, but experiencing who you are.”

Whoa, i can honestly say i dont know where all this came from, i should have been asleep hours ago, anyway, this is probably better left as an email from one random person to another, rather than a comment but all i can say is chin up, you’ve done really well, and as my own counsellor said to me once, “you’ve spent a lot of time working on yourself”, (about 38 sessions so far) so keep up the good work, we’re a long time dead, so keep on smiling, everything’s impermanent anyway, happiness / sadness doesnt last, but inner peace can be reached ( i hope )…

“Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.”- Dali Lama (i liked this one)

Oh yeah, i think home is anywhere that you find yourself living, (because you’re there) the whole world is our home…Be your own best friend homey and nothing can stop you.

james :-}

Dan