A Bowl of Stupid

So it's been a hectic several days since I last posted anything. I've essentially prepared myself for again moving (such as it is) from one Asian country to another. This time, it's back to Indonesia — possibly fo a couple years.

Given how much I despised Bali when I first visited (the Kuta area especially), I find it fairly ironic to find myself now looking for a home just a few kilometers from that same area. But, honestly, it just makes sense. I've been spending most of my time in Indonesia anyway, I've been particularly keen on practicing my Bahasa Indonesian, and with the U.S. Dollar trading so poorly in the rest of Southeast Asia (but not here), it just seems the right thing to do (although admittedly I may need to maintain a presence in Bangkok for a couple more months).

That's not to say that the whole 'moving' thing has not been a little bit stressful, despite the fact that most of my worldly belongings can fit onto a small hand trolley. Moving is always stressful, no matter what the circumstances — you're relocating your entire existance. However, I will say that the move has been eased greatly through the generosity and assistance of my friend Sean here on Bali, without which I would still be a bit lost. Thanks mate!

Indeed, I've a whole bunch more to write about the moving experience itself, as well as the Seminyak area on Bali to where I'm moving. However, continuing on that 'thankful' theme, Sean's help got me thinking about — and prompting me to thank everyone else who helped me on this current sojern (Oscar, Mike[s], Dario, Rohit, Mina, Jill, Desho …. thank you guys so much, please don't ever think your generosity and kindness were wasted on me).

That's probably the worst part about moving again. Although I may one day wind up back in Bangkok or Miami or wherever, I miss my friends. And while, as I said, my friends here in Bali — both new and old — have already lent their hands in making this place seem like a home for me, no one set of friends has ever been able to replace another, and vice versa.

So in the end, I miss them all. But fuck it, I'm here now. I'm happy as hell to be here. And quite honestly, I'm not sure I'd have it any other way.

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I'm back home in Bangkok after a nice relaxing trip to Luang Prabang, Lao PDR. Just in time to celebrate my 30th birthday (ahem) in style — and queue the music …

'One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free You'll find a god in every golden cloister …'

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Bowling in Luang Prabang: Good.

Beer Lao: Good.

Lao-Lao (homemade) whiskey: Questionable.

Resulting Hangover: Bad.

Try to remember this the next time one of your buddies tells you to do something like that.

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For anyone still paying attention, I just wanted to give y'all the heads up that I'm heading back down to Nemberala Beach, Rote, Nusa Tenggara, Indonesia again — where I will be sans electricity, sans telephone, sans internet, and sans running water for another month or so.

I'm hoping that I also won't be 'sans waves', if ya' catch my drift. I'm optomistic, because if the 6-8 foot swells that have been rolling into Indonesia over the past month or so are any indication, it should be a good month. We'll see how it unfolds …

Anyhoo, I'll abviously be unable to write anything here or on Facebook (my latest addiction) durng that time — I'm thinking of Nemberala as a sort of 'Betty Ford Clinic for Facebook Addiction.' If you catch me online any time during the next month, you can just call me Amy Winehouse.

I hope everyone has a good month, and in case anyone in interested in how the trip goes, feel free to check back around the beginning of September or so.

Stay safe, peeps!

UPDATE: Sorry to those people who have emailed me through this site over the past month or so asking for information, expressing admiration or support, or otherwise just saying 'hey' — I just noticed that my email spam filter has been blocking my messages from the blog for a month or 2. Sorry about that, thanks for writing, and now that I've noticed the problem, I SWEAR I'll respond the next time I'm in front of the computer.

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So anyway, apparently I own some island in the Persion Gulf — a big tourist spot with the Middle Eastern crowd or something. I quote from their website:

Kish Island is a resort island lapped by the sheltered waters of coral-edged lagoons, home to many of the world's spices of reef fish. Snorkeling in the Kish Island is amongst the best in the world, whilst scuba diving offers an even more spectacular insight of life beneath the waters.

Kish lies like a pearl across the turquoise waters of the Persian Gulf and is a heaven of peace and tranquility fringed by sandy beaches and coral reefs vivid with colorful fish.

Pretty freaking sweet, huh?

Umm … well no, I haven't checked to see if it's ACTUALLY my island … but it IS named after me (Kish Island), and that's pretty compelling evidence, right?

Umm … well yeah, I guess it IS in Iran, but so the fuck what?!? Now that President G.W. Cockmunch is almost out of office, we're not still buying into that whole 'Axis Of Evil' bullshit, right?

Dude! … C'mon!! … It's an island!! … And it's got my name!! It's GOTTA be mine!! I'M RICH!!! IT'S MINE, ALL MINE!!!

Conthequences schmonthequences, as long as I'm rich!!

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Anyway, I'm back home in Bangkok.

I mentioned in a comment over at TK's place that one of the primary reasons I came back here (after getting a decent massage or 10) was to see the new Batman / Dark Knight movie.

I'm an admitted comic book/movie junkie; I think Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, and Morgan Freeman are ALL very talented actors; and of the popular comics, the Batman comic (whose protagonist has no 'super powers' beyond being a multi-billionaire) is one that is most grounded in reality. Moreover, just about everyone I've read, spoken to, etc., has said the movie was absolutely the best comic movie they've ever seen.

Sounds promising, right?

Umm … yeah, not so much. It ain't all that.

I really don't get it. I saw the movie last night on the gihugent IMAX screen over at Siam Square, and while the cinematography was grande (which may be simply be explained by the 16 meter high screen), the rest of the movie was remarkably … dull.

Yes, the acting was decent, yes, Ledger portrayed Jack Nicholson the Joker very well, yes, the special effects were what we've all come to expect from big budget Hollywood films. But holy fuck people, come ON!! At the end of the day, it's just Blue Steel!!

They're just rehashing all the same ol' shit. A little bit of Sin City here, a bit of Batman Begins there, a sprinkling of Steven King there, then add in some Beetlejuice makeup and Spider Man-esque special effects for flavour — and boom, instant blockbuster.

Much has been said about how 'dark and sinister' this film is — which sets it apart from all the other comic book adaptions. But again … c'mon, it's BATMAN. The tone of this film owes more to Frank Miller — who single-handedly reintroduced Batman as the now familiar psychologically dark character — than to the present cast and crew. Indeed, Miller's portrayal of Batman as a dark and compulsive figure has dominated most later Batman projects to at least some degree, including the 1989 Batman film.

Moreover, critics said the same thing about the story's 'new, darker version' when disecting Batman Begins ("In "Batman Begins," director Christopher Nolan gets back to a deeper, darker vision of the Caped Crusader") — simply because they both followed the campy, money-driven silliness into which the earlier Batman films had devolved.

For me, the Dark Knight wasn't 'darker' and more sinister. it was simply longer and duller — proving that no matter no much 'mood' a movie tries to shove down your throat, they're still no replacing a solid script and honest, beleivable characters.

Granted, it was an 'okay' movie, but it doesn't hold a candle (no pun intended) to any one of a plethora of darker, more comprehensive 'dark' film noir adaptations — One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, and the first Batman movie, to name just a few (and yes, there's a reason I chose all Nicholson films).

Hell, even Superman 3 had Richard Pryor in it. All I got for bad acting and funny faces in The Dark Knight was Maggie Gyllenhaal. On the bright side, at least she caught on fire, too.

Yeah, this turned more into a movie review than a simple rant. Sorry about that, from now on I'll leave that shit to the professionals — they can tell the difference between Blue Steel and Magnum (oh my, it's glorious).

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Today — no pictures, no anecdotes, no nuthin'…

And you wanna know why? Cuz my surfboards (yes, that includes the BRAND NEW, NEVER BEEN FUCKIN' WAXED, SEVEN FOOT PERFECTION BOARD I JUST BOUGHT!) are now, as we speak, traversing the underbelly of the Jakarta lost luggage department.

They're either there or they've already been sold for a new house in suburban Jakarta.

Either way, I'm not a happy camper right now.

But fuck it, it's only money, right?

RIGHT?!?!

Sigh …

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I'm really not sure how to write about the following (semi-private) information — or even if I should — But I will, nonetheless. And I justify my disclosure of this particular issue for a variety of reasons … not the least of which is that I wish to impart on my friends, family, and other readers the sheer quality of the people I've met during my travels.

Anyone following may recall that I haven't said just how I came to be living in Bangkok, except that it resulted from a mutually beneficial decision — my friend Jill needed to go back to the States for a bit, while I needed a semi-permanent home here in Southeast Asia.

I initially didn't discuss the situation out of respect for my friend's privacy. However, upon my latest return to Bangkok, I learned that Jill and her family themselves started their own website, publicly disclosing the unfortunate series of events that initially demanded Jill's return to the States.

As aptly noted therein, the site contains:

[A] perfect representation of our lives as Lawlers, lives that have now been touched by cancer TWICE, nearly simultaneously. First with our mother, Mary, diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme Brain Cancer in August 2007 and, second, with our brother, Craig, diagnosed with Metastatic Chromophobe Renal Cell Carcinoma in early March 2008.

Yes, you read that right — both Jill's mom and brother were diagnosed with cancer within only months of each other. And the dignity, grace, and good humour by which J and her family are handling the situation is simply beyond description.

I am a better person for knowing people of such a caliber.

I honestly don't think I would handle myself in the same manner were I to find myself in the path of a similar storm. I just don't have that strength of character. But at least I now have a model for how it's to be done, if necessary.

If you've got a moment (which you apparently do, since you're reading THIS dribble), please take a look at Jill's website. I'm sure she and her entire family would be glad to hear of any well wishes anyone may have to offer.

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Any Questions?

Okay, I'll admit it — I'm a bit of a comic book junkie. Always have been, probably always will be.

For that reason alone, I'd been looking forward to the new Iron Man movie for a while now. However, with all the traveling I've been doing, I kinda forgot about the whole thing until I got back to Bangkok last week.

Luckily for me (and for Marvel), posters of Robert Downey Jr. in that goddamn iron suit are pasted up all around Bangkok — so it took me all of .025 seconds to remember about the film. Also luckily for me, the film was formally released in Bangkok theaters on 30 April (about 3 days ago), and unofficially released several weeks prior by the guy selling bootleg DVD's down on Sukhumvit Road.

So I've had the opportunity to see the movie twice so far.

And I gotta tell ya' … it's not bad. In fact, it's a pretty freakin' good.

Admittedly, it takes neither a genius nor a sneak-peak at the script to figure out the plot, before ever stepping foot into a theater (or the Sukhumvit) — successful, morally destitute, yet fundamentally good protagonist suffers harm at hands of TRULY evil persons … realizes the error of his ways … find means to rectify past wrongs and help save the world (in this case, such 'means' being a post-modern bullet-proof flying suit) … hilarity ensues … blah, blah, blah.

And yes, Iron Man can be enjoyed as just another action/adventure superhero movie — with all the requisite blockbuster CGI special effects. But thanks to the strength of primary casting (Downey, Jeff Bridges, Terrance Howard), the movie also works on a more human-scale — as a drama about a reckless man who, in discovering his conscious, decides that being a playboy weapons manufacturer may not be a 'morally sound' way to conduct his life.

On paper, Iron Man and his alter-ego Tony Stark look rather generic, but in the hands of Downey and director, Jon Favreau (remember Swingers?), the stock superhero character is redefined as a screwball romantic that hides a deeper, contemplative side — sort of like a Nick Charles (The Thin Man) for the 21st century.

Admittedly, Downey was an unlikely choice to play a superhero, but his own dark past, infectious self-deprecating humor, intuitive sense of timing, and astounding acting skills infuse the main character with a depth not otherwise seen in films based on comic books.

In fact, the only other actor with the skills to effectively pull that off was Christian Slater in the later-day Batman movies. However, unlike those (and several other deliriously boring superhero flicks), Favreau and Downey remember the underlying issue about comic book movies — generally speaking, they're not meant to be ponderous and steeped in existential angst.

They're supposed to be fun!

In the case of Iron Man, the filmmakers understood the priority had to be fun, albeit tempered with some real world content and criticism; which makes for an entertaining, fun, and yet still ultimately realistic story.

The only, and weakest, link in Iron Man was the casting of Gweneth Paltrow as Downey's assistant/love interest. I won't argue the point — she may have been a great actress at one time, but in this role she faltered … HUGELY. In fact, every time she appeared on film, I guarantee you that the minds behind Iron Man were squirming in the seats at the ridiculousness of her shallow acting — hoping, as I did, that Downey's skills were sufficient to carry the load.

Lucky for them they are. Truly, if ever there was a poster boy for everything that can be accomplished despite the ravages of drug addiction, Robert Downey Jr. is the guy. Go check out the movie, and check out how a modern-day superhero is SUPPOSED to look.

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[Originally transcribed: 12/04/08]

It's funny, I'm here in Sumatra — between surf sessions — and the amazing sitar playing of Anoushka Shankar came up on my iTunes during a random shuffle. Even now, after all the shit I went through in India, listening to this Punjabi music STILL fills me with a vague, if not altogether sane, desire to visit India again.

Luckily for me, I've already been there (at least briefly), so I can separate that romanticized sitar-filled vision of India with the India of reality.

Yes, I still dislike the contemptible, toga-laden 'drippy-hippies' I met who were seeking out the India of their dreams. Yes, I still think India itself is an overcrowded and over-polluted cesspool. Yes, I still equate the entire country with the wrenching agony I suffered in the clutches of the Dengue Fever.

However, for possibly the first time since before I first left for Sri Lanka and India last November, I can empathize with these knuckle-dragging simpletons in drag — albeit on only a slighter, more sane level.

Maybe it's because I've had a chance to just sit back, relax, and get in some halfway decent surf sessions during the past couple weeks. Maybe enough time has passed to mellow my views on the country. Maybe it's my new diet of virgins' blood and truffled chocolates.

Whatever. It's actually kinda nice to look back at India with a 'bit' less disgust. Now, if I can just hold out until November 2, maybe I'll be able to do the same with respect to the United States … but I ain't holding my breathe.

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[Me — Karang Nyimbor, Krui, Sumatra, Indonesia]

P.S. It's not the best picture, the best wave, or the best ride (I'm just digging the rail on that log of mine as hard as I can), but you get the idea.

P.P.S. Suck it, Brooke.

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Hey folks!

It's okay to come on back now everyone, I'm fairly calm now. But Jesus H. Christ on a pogo-fucking-stick, if I haven't had a nerve-wracking past few days.

First off, as noted in my last post, no one should EVER use AmTrust Bank for ANYTHING. EVER!! (unless you don't WANT to ever see your money again, of course). Fuck, I know there's a recession going on back in the States, but that doesn't mean the bank can simply STEAL my goddamn money!!

Regardless, that's what having an extra stash in your bank account is for, right?

Umm … yeah, not so much.

That's not to say that, besides also having the typical low-level 'scamming' thing going on, the local guys over at the Family Losman next door were also great hosts (although their facilities aren't as extensive as Andy's), so don't believe anything bad you may hear about them either. They're a bit cheaper, and they've just got a less extensive hotel/losman (i.e., Andy's got A/C rooms, a TV room, etc.). It just depends on what you want to do and pay.

So I'm here at Karang Nyimbor for another couple weeks — it's still not crowded in the surf, and my stress level has been reduced exponentially regarding money, so everything's cool.

Granted, it would be nice if the surf picks up a bit … but for now, I'm just thankful for what I've got.

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I'm still here in Sumatra - having a great time, which is good since I may wind up being STUCK here because …

I can't get any of my fucking money!!!

Before I left, I arranged to get my funds out of a savings account I opened with AMTRUST DIRECT. Great, right?

Wrong!!! It's been over a month and the motherfuckers STILL won't give me my goddamn MONEY!!!!

With all my free time, I'm in the process of filing a formal complaint with the Office of Thrift Supervision against this bank and would love to use any other current complaints in showing the issues inherent with this bank.

The motto of this bank appears to be to keep the funds in tow at all costs. In other words: Keep away online account access from consumers, charge consumer's service fees for anything they can and then make up an excuse as to the reason for it, or keep away interest payments from consumers or keep funds in tow with holds that are GENERATED by the bank themselves intentionally.

I am trying to compile information to determine if there is criminal neglect and or fraud going on with this bank. I have spoken to multiple people over at the bank including a supervisor and the answers were not satisfactory. I believe a formal inquiry into this bank needs to be made by the OTS for the ONLINE DIVISION.

So now I;m in the process of documenting all the MANY issues I've had with the bank — apparently I'm only one of legion — and I've gotta email the full complaint including my personal identifying information to consumer.complaint@ots.treas.gov.

For anyone else interested, you can also contact the OCC at:

Northeast Region
Consumer Affairs
Harborside Financial Center Plaza Five
Suite 1600
Jersey City, NJ 07311
(800) 253-2181
(201) 413-7541 (Fax)
(Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, West Virginia)

Mutha-fuckas!!! How ya' like me now?

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Quickly, I'm still alive.

I'm in a small villiage outside the southern villiage of Krui, in Southern Sumatra, Indonesia. I flew from Bangkok to Singapore to Jakarta to Bandar Lumpung, and then a quick 5.5 hour jaunt in a 'taxi' around the sides of a couple volcanos.

But I'm here now. And there's some nice surf … sorta.

There's surf alright, but the afternoons have been dealing up some 'brisk' 20-30 knot winds — which kinda wrecks havok on the surf breaks.

Anyway, this is one of the few places in Indo that has some decent right hand breaks. However, due to the heavy winds ('angin kuat'), I'm thinking of heading back over to Western Java next week. We'll see how the weather unfolds.

I'm staying a great little place called 'Family Loseman' located in an idylic setting right on the beach about 30 minutes outside Krui — total cost for room and 3 square meals a day - apprx. US$12.50/nite. Nice!

I'll tell you guys, everything they show in those stupid Corona commercials — that's nothing compared to this type of confortable isolation. It's not too shabby.

I'm working on my Bahasa Indonesian language skills, and things are generally fantastic. I'll write more when and if I return to civilization. Hope everyone is still doing well, and I'll keep up when I can.

Peace.

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