Feb 05 2008
Hammer, Please Hurt ‘Em

(MC Hammer, on left, and one of his neo-hippie fashion disciples, on right)
First off, no … I don't have any actual pictures here from India to upload, since I lost the USB cord for my camera somewhere in the Philippines. Sorry.
Second off, I'm not sure I would want to put any pictures of the many, many MANY hippies roaming Kerala in their 'Hammeresque' Indian 'harem pants.' These pants are ostensibly used for yoga practice, but it seems that just about every Westerner here wears them at all times of the day, despite just how fucking silly they look.
It's a bit baffling, considering that even the hottest of girls can ruin all that beauty simply by wearing pants that make her look like she's wearing a big set of diapers. It's really hard to tell if someone's got a nice ass if she looks like she's carrying around a load of shit in her pants.
And if the cute girls can look absolutely awful in these things, imagine — really imagine — just how unappealing all the aging, new-age, hippie wannabes look in them. It's just …
just … wow.
I understand the concept of wearing comfortable clothing. Trust me, I haven't worn a pair of shoes or pants in months. It's hot and humid out and things can get hot and sticky (and stinky) really fast, so thongs (flip-flops) and shorts are obviously a necessity for maintaining any semblance of comfort (and dignity). That being said, I don't see how wearing a big bulky diaper can make one MORE comfortable in this heat and humidity. To the contrary, I'm guessing there's a bit of 'hippie chafing' going on right now.
In addition, apparently nobody has told these guys that parachute pants went out when Jim Carry and Jennifer Lopez were on 'In Living Color' and Micheal Jackson was still black (well … sorta). Even then, they looked silly … and MC Hammer could DANCE in them.
These hippies in their yoga-parachute pants, though? Who are they kidding. C'mon buddy, just put on a pair of fucking shorts. Please?
Seriously, I knew MC Hammer, and you sir, are no MC Hammer.






