A Bowl of Stupid

MEH (mē’)

1. (n.) A multi-purpose response, primarily used to imply a degree of indifference.

2. (n.) Vietnam, a country of southeast Asia in eastern Indochina on the South China Sea.

My posts on this blog have been less than prolific in recent months, I know. That’s not to say that much hasn’t been happening in this time. To the contrary, it has — I simply haven’t written about it.

This can be blamed on the fact that I’ve become obsessed with finding a full-time paying gig in Thailand and/or Singapore, which admittedly does take up a lot of my time. However, the ‘truthier’ reason is that I simply haven’t had anything all that stunning to write about.

Don’t get me wrong, over the past several months, I’ve taken a trip back to Sri Lanka, I’ve moved from Bali back to Bangkok, I’m heading back to the States in a few days for the first time in a couple years, and I’m currently in Saigon helping out a friend.

But all of this has been done before, nothing has pissed me off significantly where I felt the need to write about it, and nothing else has happened warranting a full-fledged blog post. Rather, over the past several months, I find that everything I have to say can be said with a 1-line status report on Facebook.

That being said, being back in Saigon has finally piqued my vitriolic creative juices again.

I’ve been to this country three (3) times now, and even not including the times when I had my money grifted at the border crossing and my digital camera stolen from my bag, I STILL have yet to find anything even remotely redeeming about this place.

It’s not so bad that I actively dislike the place, it’s just that, in relation to all the other countries in the region, Vietnam is a Southeast Asian version of Carnival Cruise Lines — on paper, it appears just as good as … say, Thailand or Laos or even Indonesia. But then, when you actually get there, you find out the other passengers are trashier, the cabins are dingier, the food less tasty, the daiquiris watered down, the cruise overbooked, and the crew less accommodating than other cruise lines. And sure, the pool LOOKS great, but there’s a lingering feeling the entire crew has been surreptitiously pissing in the pool every time your back in turned.

The total effect of all this is to leave a nasty aftertaste in your soul, despite any efforts to the contrary.

Maybe my problem (if it can be called that) is that I’ve grown to love Thailand and Laos to such an extent that everything else pales in comparison (even Indonesia, which I also like). As a result, as it now stands, I’d rather hang out in my hotel room surfing the net rather than go outside, dodge traffic, and otherwise watch the locals piss in my pool.

It’ll be interesting to see how I react upon my return to America next week.

As I mentioned in previous posts, I’ve become somewhat addicted to the KEXP ‘Song of the Day’ blogcast. It’s essentially become my only way to keep up on new and independent artists back in the States, as I roam thru Southeast Asia.

I was just in Saigon for a few days helping out a friend. And during the various car, boat and airplane trips I took along the way, I wound up listening to the same song almost the entire time — a song entitled “Ciew Mawele (Adham Shaikh’s Dusty Foot Remix)” by Issa Bagayogo from the 2007 compilation, Global Dancefloor on Six Degrees.

Here’s the MP3 of Ciew Mawele, available for immediate download through the KEXP website.

I usually try to avoid quoting directly from other sites, but this is just great music all around — the underlying melody and the integration of the techno remix. So for those of you who are just too lazy to head over to the KEXP site itself, the background on Issa Bagayogo follows:

Although he got his start playing traditional Malian instruments like the six-stringed kamele n’goni, Issa Bagayogo eventually became known as Techno Issa after he met French engineer Yves Wernert and began mixing traditional music with electronic beats. The resulting “Afro-techno” showed Malian musicians a new way, but despite frequent imitation, Techno Issa remains unique on his three albums released on Six Degrees, including the most recent Tassoumakan.

Unlike typical remix treatments of traditional music, which tend to overpower the source, Issa Bagayogo and Yves Wernert, along with a host of respected Mali musicians, effortlessly blend African and Western styles, creating a contemporary sound that remains purely West African. Adham Shaikh’s reworking ups the dance quotient a bit more, adding a deeper groove but still maintaining the integrity of the song.

Additionally, here’s a video for Issa Bagayogo’s “Dambalou”:

(‘Hey Mista’, Hey Mista’! You need transport? You need Moto? You want girlfriend? You want marijuana? … Hey Mista’!!”)

So I’m in Saigon .. trying not to get run over by a motorbike, avoiding all the locals hawking anything and everything they can, and otherwise trying not to inadvertently wind up buying a new Vietnamese wife (they apparently comes free with the purchase of a cup of coffee on Thursdays — I kid, I kid).

It’s kind of an unexpected stop here, since my plan was only to visit my buddy in Hong Kong and then head back to Indonesia for surf season — which is starting as I write. However, my old flat-mate from Singapore is in the shipping business and he needed someone to check on a new fruit supplier in Southern Vietnam. As I’m in the area, I have extra time on my hands, and I have experience in the shipping industry, I offered to help.

If it wasn’t for that kid, I don’t think I’d have experienced HALF of what I have in Southeast Asia.

During this trip to Saigon, I toured what seemed like half of Southern Vietnam (most of which is off the beaten tourist track), I met a guy who fought for the North Vietnamese Army in the American War (he’s just regular old guy living back up near Hanoi, but he came down with his nephew who was giving me the tour). And through my tour guide / translator I was able to interact with locals on secondary level not always otherwise available in foreign countries.

The shipment went out yesterday and I head back to Bali tomorrow.

I’ve been walking around Ho Chi Mihn City today, just being a tourist. The city is a thriving swarm of motorbikes and people. The energy is palpable, and on some level it reminds me of how my dad has spoken about Philly at the turn of the last century (except for the ubiquitous cellphones here) — vendors selling fruit on the street, kids swimming in the polluted river, and a city divided by neighborhoods not freeways.

Coming from the chilly, hectic, yet controlled atmosphere of Hong Kong, it’s nice to be able to surrender myself to the heat and chaos of Southeast Asia. That being said, HCMC, like Hong Kong, is still too hectic for me — it’ll be nice to get back to my island again.

As for Hong Kong itself, it’s very, VERY much like Manhattan — a great place to visit if you’ve the cash for it, but to live and enjoy it properly, you’ve got to be very well financed. Granted, I had a nice time. But I also kinda forgot what it was like hanging out with my mate (who’s now living in Hong Kong) after I stopped working in Miami.

In Miami, he always wanted to go out and party, which was fine while I was working because I had money to burn (sorta). But when I stopped working, he still wanted to go out yet he had no full concept of how much it was costing me and how I needed to save money.

It was a bit like that again last week, and I wound up staying in most of the time, while he would still go out with his co-workers. I went there to see him, yet I spent much of my time alone hanging out in his apartment simple because it was too expensive to leave the house! Don’t get me wrong, he tried to oblige by offering to pay for dinner and drinks several times just to get me out, but I felt guilty about doing that too. Regardless, the whole Hong Kong region — Hong Kong island, Kow Loon, Macau, Lantou island — is absolutely stunning. And it is one of the several places I’ve been to out here that I would put on my ‘Must See’ list.

Like I said, it’ll be good to go home tomorrow and heading back out into the surf. When I get settled in back there, we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled nonsensical ramblings.

I’m going back to Vietnam next week for a few days. So today, instead of finally leaving Hong Kong Island, I went to the Vietnam embassy to get my visa. And I wound up exploring the Wan Chai neighborhood.

Wan Chai has earned a reputation as Hong Kong’s Red Light District. But from what I saw, I’m guessing either it doesn’t hold a candle to Bangkok’s many red-light extravaganzas, or things don’t get started in Wan Chai until the sum goes down.

Regardless, my posts about this trip are starting to resemble a soundtrack rather than a descriptive travel blog. I was playing the following song for most of the afternoon. It’s brand new, the video is (for now) only on Local Motion, and can only be seen back in the States (unless you’re using an ‘anonymity’ web-proxy program … ahem).

Like a lot of the new music coming out lately, it hearkens back to the type of shit they were producing in the 1980′s — saxophones, heavy keyboards, and more melodic songs. The video is a short version of the song.

Watch the video if you can, and then go over to the KEXP site and download the MP3 and listen to the extended version. It made for a great day walking about the city.

The Dears – Disclaimer

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I recently scrapped a planned trip through Vietnam with a friend over Christmas. However, having already paid about US$50.00 for the Visa, I decided to take the trip myself several weeks later, and I visited Dong Ha, Hue, Hoi An, and then China Beach — a few miles outside Da Nang, Vietnam, from where I had planned on flying back to Bangkok before heading home to Bali.

But life is utterly random.

I met a princess at China Beach (literally on the beach). Like me, she was a foreigner just passing through on holiday (unfortunately she, like myself, is also a lawyer).

And while I hesitate to discuss the specifics (which I’m not sure I could fully articulate even if I tried), we wound up on the beach together all evening and throughout the night. And for me, it turned into one of those resounding experiences we all dream about, and which we’ve the luxury of experiencing only a handful of times in a lifetime.

And she and I decided to stay together traveling for the next week, to Bangkok, then through Phenom Phen and Seam Reap and touring Anchor Wat, and then — ever too briefly — back through Bangkok. I had an absolute and total blast with her … and I regret nothing.

And then early this morning, I left.

I am writing this now on a plane back to Bali. She is, presumably, still asleep in our room back in Bangkok.

Yes, it sounds silly, I only spent a week with this girl, but already I feel hollow without her presence near me. But I gave myself fully to this lovely, lovely girl, even knowing it would last only a week. And now I’m at a loss as to what to feel, write or do to compensate for this indescribable loss.

And I will, most likely, fall out of love with her in the next couple days — out of necessity, given the many time zones and countries that separate us.

I will compartmentalize. I will push away. And I will move on. That’s what I do.

And most likely, I will never see her again (at least romantically). But dammit man, it just doesn’t seem right. Not at all.

Nonetheless, I just want to capture here, for posterity’s sake, some of the bliss I’ve enjoyed with her throughout this past week. And some of the melancholy in which I now find myself awash without her.

And I want to remind myself (and others) that this was the moment I decided I need, not want, but NEED to return to the real world. I’m coming to the end of my spiritual sojourn.

Yes, I may stay in Bali through the summer. But I want to live a real life again.

For this, and for other things of which she may never know, I thank her.

Hey, not much time and whole lot to write about. First, I bypassed Da Nang and headed straight to Hoi An, since I had heard some nice things abou tthe place. And yes, it is amazing from an historical standpoint (did you like the way I used ‘an’ there?), the people are far more laid back and non-harassing than those up north (including those money-changing-ninja-ladies at the border), and there’s an interesting ‘old world charm’ to this place — like it’s been around for a thousand years, changed hands a dozen times, witnessed dozens of wars and thousands of deaths, and has come out on the other side looking like so nice that it’s almost a replica of itself … oh wait, that HAS happened.

The sad thing is that the place has been listed as a UNESCO site, so at times it appears there are more European tourists here than locals. It’s good and bad, I suppose, but I get the feeling walking around at night that I’m visiting ‘Vietnam World’ at EPCOT Center. The front streets filled with tourists are the park exhibits, and the back alleys I typically like to traverse are the ‘off-limits’ areas where the guys playing Mickey and Pluto take their ciggy break.

Please don’t take any of this the wrong way — Vietnam is stunning, and the people have generally been good (as they are everywhere), but the difference in attitude towards foreigners can be indicated simply by looking at how they refer to them — in Thailand, they’re referred to as ‘Falang’ (a dismissive, yet harmless term), in Indonesia, they are ‘buleh’ cuz of their light skin tone (it means ‘Albino’ in Indo).But in Vietnam, they are simply ‘Tourists.’ Witha capital ‘T’.

These guys have figured out how their bread is buttered, and they are taking full advantage of it, for good or bad. Judgements aside.

In my case, however, things are all too easy to judge. Example, last nite, I was having a nice cup of coffe on the bank of the purfume river in Hue, enjoying the sunset over the Citidel in the distance, and the multitude of cyclists silhouetted as they traversed the city’s main bridge. It was magnificent, and I won’t soon forget it.

However, I also recalled that earlier that day, as I crossed that bridge on foot, I say not one, but two sets of girls on bicycles get hit by passing cars (which comtinued on their way). It’s the differnece between reality and romance. Unfortunately, I’m not sure they can coexist for me out here.

Every time I get all misty-eyes and shit about something that seems a scene from a postcard or movie, some jagged little reminder of the reality BEHIND the props and the masks (sorta like the guy playing Tigger going on a rampage).

Sure, at times I do wish I could see the forest for the trees. But most of the time, I’m not really sure I want to. I just wanna know when some guy in a giant tiger suit is gonna go crazy near me, I suppose.

P.S. Never being one to admit when wrong, I grudgingly do so now (in a manner of speaking) — I was wrong about some things re: Vietnam. Whenever I get to a new place in S.E. Asia, I tend to see it in its worst light, since I put myself in a position to do so. For safety and practical concerns, I never trust anyone, yet I still tend to get hit by con-artists and theives (and I shudder to think of how bad it would be if I DIDN’T insulate myself from them at first). The side effect is that, while safer, I view the place in a bad light.

But I hate the typical tourist traps. And I’m a walker … I walk everywhere.

So after walking about 10-20 KM in the past few days outside the typical tourist haunts, I’ve experienced what is, most likely, more of the ‘true’ Vietnam — where the kids smile and wave and ask your name, and the women giggle as you pass, and the men offer you a drink and a wave. Granted, this came to me more freely in places like Thailand, Indonesia (outside Jakarta and Kuta, Bali), and Sri Lanka — but there’ll still here, if you look.

I still hate the tourist crowd with a passion. And I now recognize that I am deeply, madly in love with Bangkok and Palau Rote (Timor). But there is still a huge forest of potential out there if I know where to look.

Okay, as noted in my last post, I’m traveling again through Southeast Asia. I’m doing so despite having an underlying feeling of apathy towards this whole expedition.

For the most part, I’ve stayed with my initial travel plan (I picked up a nasty head cold the day I left, which I had neglected to work into said plan) — I took off by overnight sleeper train from Bangkok to Ubon Ratchathani, where I caught a taxi (i.e., some guy with a car) from the train station to the bus station, where I caught a bus to the border town of Mukdahan.

I had been misinformed about how to get over the Thai-Laos border (e.g., the Mekong River) from Mukdahan, and I took a tuk-tuk from the bus station to the actual border bridge — where I found I had to pay to get back ON a bus (which I could have caught for the same price back at the bus station) to ride over the ‘Friendship Bridge II’ into Laos.

Once over the bridge, the bus promptly disappeared into town without waiting for me (apparently having served its purpose of taking me across the 200 meter-long bridge), leaving me to take yet another tuk-tuk the 8 km or so into the Laotian border town of Savannakhet.

I eventually wound up staying in Savannakhet for a couple days — first, because I felt like shit and needed to rest; and second, since I was TOLD the only bus leaving town for Vietnam would not be leaving until then. When I did wind up on that bus, it only took me as far as the Vietnamese shithole town of Dong Ha, where I had to pay almost as much as I did for the bus from Laos to go the next 67 KM down to Hue.

So here I am. In Hue, Vietnam — which is known for its infamously bad weather. It has not disappointed.

For the sake of brevity, for anyone ever interested in going this route (up to this point, of course), in addition to the above and the general stuff of doing a bit of research beforehand, I also have these following suggestions:

• Avoid the Savanbanhao Hotel in Savannakhet, Laos if you want to sleep — although recommended by several travel guides, it also owns a restaurant/nightclub RIGHT next door that’s open until 2-3 a.m., and I’m pretty sure it’s a front for a whorehouse.
• Avoid buying a bus ticket from Savannakhet to Hue from Saphon Travel (also recommended by some travel guides) — they don’t actually bring you to Hue, but only to some shithole of a town called Dong Ha, where they will tell you you need to stay in their hotel overnight until you can buy ANOTHER ticket on their next bus to Hue, which leaves the following morning (for essentially double the price you would have paid for a ticket directly to Hue from another company).
• Try to get rid of all your Laos Kip before you leave Laos — there’s little to no need for it once you get on the bus, you can get Dong from ATM’s in Dong Ha or Hue, and you will … repeat, WILL … get ripped off if you try to exchange it for Vietnamese Dong with those little gnome-ladies on the Laos-Vietnam border (one way or another: for another person, they fucked him on the rate; for me, they simply grabbed my cash and ran) — just like the James Gang, there’s a reason they all wear face-masks.
• Trust nobody here until you know them — despite being a ‘communist country’, many of the Vietnamese I’ve met to date are some of the most opportunistic and slyly deceitful people I’ve met. Whereas folks in other Asian countries I’ve visited and/or lived (especially the Buddhist and Hindu ones, where they believe in Karma) will always try to out-bargain you — even to the edge of theft — I’ve never had anything actually stolen from me until Vietnam (so far, I’ve had money and my camera stolen here in only 2 days).

All in all, Vietnam is a fascinating place. The people are esthetically gorgeous. The food, while not outstanding, is interesting and diverse. And the history is extensive. But I’d rather be back in Bangkok.

* Extra points for anyone who knows, or cares enough to cite the reference.

First off, Akismet has caught 119,277 spammer comments for me since I installed it on this site about a year ago. I’d like to thank all you spammer ass-munches for keeping the good people at Akismet in business … and educating me all about the wonderful world of Russian porn.

Second, I’m heading out to Vietnam today for a couple weeks. I’ll be making my way overland from Bangkok — first, by train through the eastern part of central Thailand to Ubon Ratchathani, then by bus to Mukdahan, where I can cross over into Savannakhet, Laos.

Then, I’ll then make my way across central-southern Laos to the Laos/Vietnam border at Lao Bao, Vietnam. From there, I plan on making my way to Khe Sanh, then over to Hue, and finishing up in Da Nang (from where I’ll probably fly back to Bangkok).

I should have internet access intermittently, and may be updating from the road about the trip. Hope everyone stays well.