A Bowl of Stupid

2

Not really much to write about at the present. I'm just enjoying my stay here in Bangkok before leaving again back for Rote, Indonesia in three (3) days.

I've said it before and I'll say it again — Bangkok really is a great town. But it also has a tendency to drain money from your wallet at an alarming rate (and this is coming from an ex-pat who's living here — I can only imagine how much money all the tourist 'falangs' are forking out while here on holiday).

Just today, I bought a new rice cooker, a French drip coffee pot, and new headphones for my iPod. This is in addition to the books and DVD's I bought to take with me to Rote, as well as all the movies I've been seeing (including the new 'Speed Racer' movie … which sucked on too many levels to discuss right now without suffering a cerebral hemorrhage), and the new clothes, and the yoga classes, and the coffees, and the lunches, and the dinners, and the nightclubs.

It's kinda like Miami — it's so good it's bad.

Thankfully, I had the foresight to plan ahead — like I said, I leave again in 3 days. I really need to get out of this town and back to the peace and quiet of Indonesia before I go broke … or wind up marrying a Thai hooker, whichever comes first.

Okay, I'm off to go play poker with a bunch of Swedes — dammit, there's another 1000 baht I'll never see again.

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[Me — Karang Nyimbor, Krui, Sumatra, Indonesia]

P.S. It's not the best picture, the best wave, or the best ride (I'm just digging the rail on that log of mine as hard as I can), but you get the idea.

P.P.S. Suck it, Brooke.

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The drive to Bandar Lampung (BL) was actually quite pleasant in my perspective (One of the nice side effects of having survived the CRAZY traffic of India and Sri Lanka is that anything short of careening down the road pitched over on 2 wheels like Bo & Luke Duke seems like a walk in the park).

We got into BL just after dark, and headed straight to the only steak place in town — another outside dining place where they cook steaks, ribs, and chicken over an open pit BBQ right on the sidewalk. I got 1 order of ribs and 1 order of steak, as did each of the other 3 guys I was with. Total cost (including drinks, chips, and veggies) = appx. US$12.

Gotta love that exchange rate (or at least what's left of it).

After dinner, we headed back to the Hotel Pacific, where I enjoyed A/C and cable TV for several hours before passing out at about 0200 a.m., ready to start running errands the next morning.

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Yes, even perfection can get tiresome when not taken in moderation.

I honestly don't know how those professional surfers (and many amateurs) can stay in the water surfing for 6, 7 or even 8 hours a day for weeks on end. Luckily, I had a some great quality time here in the water with absolutely fantastic conditions and a low body count in the water (pictures to come).

But after a couple of weeks going out for several hours a day, my shoulders were constantly aching from all the paddling, my chest was (and still is) bruised from laying on the board so much, and I was just generally waterlogged.

So I hitched a ride with Andy (the owner of the Karang Nyimbor Hotel) to Bandar Lampung for some shopping, to get money from a working ATM machine (which I did), and to simply take a break from paradise for a couple days.

The morning we left, I went out for a quick paddle, hoping to get a few good waves in the swell that came in overnight. It was great — I paddled out easily, missing the set waves, got to the lineup just in time for a set, caught a screamer for a few hundred meters, paddled back around and did the same thing twice more.

Total time in the water: about 10 minutes. It was short, but it was the most satisfying session I had in a week — much how I like my sex (for any hotties reading, I'm just kidding; for everyone else, yah, not so much).

Then we headed into town - a 4-5 hour drive one way, up and down and around the mountains of southern Sumatra. It's a beautiful place, hardly touched but for the occational coffee plantations, rice patties, or small mountain village.

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I'm still here surfing in Krui, Sumatra. There have been a couple nice swells that pushed through, providing for some long and tiring sessions over the past week. Nothing much to report after that, other than that I continue to have a GREAT time - I continue to work on my surfing skills (never all that great to begin with, but getting better with each passing day, month, and year), and I got a pretty fucking sweet stand-up barrel this morning in the last of the latest swell.

It's days, weeks, and months like this that make me wonder how the hell ANYONE can sit behind a desk for 8-10 hours a day and still retain any semblance of his or her humanity.

Come out and play, you guys — you will NOT regret it.

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(A picture taken of the break last year in front of the Karang Nyimbor Hotel — where I'm staying in Southern Sumatra)

I'm torn between my desire to detail for those interested in visiting the Krui area of Sumatra (where I currently am), and my desire to just talk about my own shit (like usual). So I'll compromise and do a little bit of both.

There are several breaks in the Krui area — comprised of an exposed beach and reef that has good, reliable surf all throughout the dry season of March through October. One of the best features of the area is that it's one of the only places in Indonesia that has some decent right-handed breaks (Indonesia is known as 'land of the lefts').

As noted previously, I am staying about an hour south of Krui town, in a small fishing village called Ujung Bocur. The entire area is an absolutely idyllic tropical setting.

When it's working properly, the wave here (a.k.a. Sumatra's longest left) is a quality long point reef. It's a long, walled up wave with three connecting sections that breaks on all tides and provides some amazing rides of up to 1/2 a kilometer long.

Unfortunately, I've had only a few truly decent days of surf in the past week — it was initially a bit inconsistent due to a cyclone that was sitting off the northwestern coast of Australia (Cyclone Pancho — and no, I'm not kidding about the name).

As noted previously, there are several other minor issues with the area — all of which have been EASILY outweighed by only one (1) awesome day in the surf. The biggest issue is that, although there are some amazing surf spots all up and down the coast, most are very far apart, requiring a lot of time on the road, and you need to get to them before the afternoon wind gets up.

The second biggest problem is also probably one of the best features of the area — it's isolation and difficulty to reach. I did it the 'expensive' way — traveling direct from Singapore to Jakarta (in West Java), then sleeping in the Jakarta Airport Hotel as part of the mandatory overnight stay (US$100 — an absolute FORTUNE in Indo Rupiah), then the morning flight from Jakarta to Bandar Lampung (in southern Sumatra), and then a privately hired 'bemo' (taxi) to drive the final 5-6 hours around the volcano's to Krui.

• The total travel time to Krui from Singapore (including layovers, etc.), which is only about 250 miles away, is 2 days.
• The nearest Bank/ATM machine — 2-2.5 hours away by taxi/motorbike (3-4 hours if by public bus).
• English is hardly spoken or understood ANYWHERE in the area (except by the few ex-pat surfers living/running surf camps in the area).

Again, these inconveniences are becoming easily overlooked after only one day of getting treated like royalty by the guys over at Karang Nyimbor Hotel. The place is probably somewhat similar to how Bali was a few decades ago — no huge crowds of panting, overage Aussies, no huge shopping markets, no nothing, really.

And now the wind is dropping — the surf is picking up — the weather is gorgeous. Fucking 'ell, man. It's absolutely awesome. THIS is the shit I came out here for!! I'm going surfing for a bit, I'll see y'all in a few days (or so…).

P.S. AmTrust Direct Bank STILL sucks ass!! Fuck, I can't even get onto the AmTrust website anymore. Could someone back in the States try to get on and see if it's just cuz they're blocking overseas customers (i.e., ME) or if the entire Bank is gone. Thanks all!

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Hey folks!

It's okay to come on back now everyone, I'm fairly calm now. But Jesus H. Christ on a pogo-fucking-stick, if I haven't had a nerve-wracking past few days.

First off, as noted in my last post, no one should EVER use AmTrust Bank for ANYTHING. EVER!! (unless you don't WANT to ever see your money again, of course). Fuck, I know there's a recession going on back in the States, but that doesn't mean the bank can simply STEAL my goddamn money!!

Regardless, that's what having an extra stash in your bank account is for, right?

Umm … yeah, not so much.

That's not to say that, besides also having the typical low-level 'scamming' thing going on, the local guys over at the Family Losman next door were also great hosts (although their facilities aren't as extensive as Andy's), so don't believe anything bad you may hear about them either. They're a bit cheaper, and they've just got a less extensive hotel/losman (i.e., Andy's got A/C rooms, a TV room, etc.). It just depends on what you want to do and pay.

So I'm here at Karang Nyimbor for another couple weeks — it's still not crowded in the surf, and my stress level has been reduced exponentially regarding money, so everything's cool.

Granted, it would be nice if the surf picks up a bit … but for now, I'm just thankful for what I've got.

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Quickly, I'm still alive.

I'm in a small villiage outside the southern villiage of Krui, in Southern Sumatra, Indonesia. I flew from Bangkok to Singapore to Jakarta to Bandar Lumpung, and then a quick 5.5 hour jaunt in a 'taxi' around the sides of a couple volcanos.

But I'm here now. And there's some nice surf … sorta.

There's surf alright, but the afternoons have been dealing up some 'brisk' 20-30 knot winds — which kinda wrecks havok on the surf breaks.

Anyway, this is one of the few places in Indo that has some decent right hand breaks. However, due to the heavy winds ('angin kuat'), I'm thinking of heading back over to Western Java next week. We'll see how the weather unfolds.

I'm staying a great little place called 'Family Loseman' located in an idylic setting right on the beach about 30 minutes outside Krui — total cost for room and 3 square meals a day - apprx. US$12.50/nite. Nice!

I'll tell you guys, everything they show in those stupid Corona commercials — that's nothing compared to this type of confortable isolation. It's not too shabby.

I'm working on my Bahasa Indonesian language skills, and things are generally fantastic. I'll write more when and if I return to civilization. Hope everyone is still doing well, and I'll keep up when I can.

Peace.

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So … I'm back in Singapore, en route to my next surfing destination.

I left Bangkok yesterday morning and I've stopped over in Singapore to visit with a friend, pick up some long-lost supplies, and generally get my shit in order before heading back down to Indonesia for the next month.

Among such supplies is my camera's USB cord, which I left here in November when I thought I'd be back in only a few weeks. Now, almost 5 months later, I've FINALLY been able to upload the pictures from my recent trips HERE (the Philippines), HERE (Sri Lanka), and HERE (India) (sorry, no pics from Bangkok — my camera went 'tits up' a few weeks ago).

Oh, and Manny? … TK?

Just in case both of your busy 'work schedules' keep you from browsing through all of those pics — there's a picture showing the aftermath of my Sri Lankan sea urchin encounter HERE, and another showing the result of my motorbike accident from the Philippines HERE.

Enjoy 'em, you sadistic fucks (but I mean that in a nice way).

Anyway, I've also been planning on swinging through Kuta, Bali on my way out towards 'all points water' to pick up requisite surfing supplies (wax, ding repair kit, fins, etc.). Kuta ain't my favorite place in the world, but unfortunately, it's one of the few — if not the only — place in all of Southeast Asia where surfing supplies are available (ironically, Phuket also apparently has one lone surf shop, but I wasn't going to risk a trip just to find they had nothing I need).

Apparently, however, the second coming of Christ is happening in Bali this month — because every single fucking flight from Singapore to Bali is booked for the next 10 days (except first class tickets — which we all know I don't qualify for). This has left me just a BIT flustered, considering that last summer I was able to get a cheap flight to Bali almost instantly.

Luckily, I learned that I'm not as dumb as I thunk I is. Apparently I've either got a guardian garden gnome or had the foresight to leave myself a care package here in Singapore — replete with surf wax, an epoxy ding-repair kit, and even extra fins. Nice!

So … fuck you Bali, hello Sumatra! (Krui, southern Sumatra … to be precise).

I've heard some pretty good things about the place — including the fact that it's not TOO crowded yet. Considering the number of surfers I saw in Indonesia last year, I'm not holding my breathe. But all in all, I'm pretty stoked about checking out the Sumatran mainland. If things go well, I may even head up to the Mentawai Islands and/or Nias while I'm down in the area. We'll just see how it unfolds.

Rather than wasting US$800 on an unnecessary flight to Bali, I can take a flight from here to Jakarta (and then onward through Bandar Lampung) for only US$35.00-US$45.00. This stuff just confirms my thinking that, if you just don't force it, sometimes these things just have a way of working themselves out.

I hope to pick up the plane tickets later today, and then I'll be leaving over the weekend. I'll keep writing whenever I find Internet connections, so keep in touch. Stay well and have a good month, everyone. Peace, out.

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Since I left the USB cord to my camera in Singapore, I haven't been able to upload ANY pictures ever since I was in the Philippines in November. I'm returning to Singapore next week for a few days for a bit of 'rest and relaxation' (i.e., air conditioning and hot water), at which time I'll pick up the cord and upload my pictures from the past 3 months.

However, I will also have to buy a new camera since my old one just went tits up after I dropped it about 5 meters while rock climbing. Oops. Heh-heh, never saw THAT coming.

In the meantime, above is a picture taken on my computer showing the backdrop at the beautiful Railay Bay Resort here in Krabi, where I'm currently stealing borrowing free Wi/Fi. It's not THAT bad of a setting for late February, huh?

Happy winter everyone!!

Not much else to report other than I'm still trying to figure out where to go surfing for a couple months in March and April before heading back to the Philippines to meet up again with the royalty over there — right, princess?

I've been looking at the surf reports, and although it pains me to say this … Indonesia, and Bali specifically, is looking mighty, MIGHTY fine right about now. 4-6 waves with 12-15 second intervals, and 3-5 knot offshore winds. Pretty tempting, but I've still got the itch to head out into the Pacific for a bit — Micronesia, Tonga, or Palau, for example. Once again, pretty tempting.

Regardless, wherever I head, I'll make sure to bring some limes, just so I don't sink (Extra credit for picking up the reference).

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(My host in the Filos, Matt Jacka, and the rest of the 'crew' heading back from our boat trip to Daku Island)

UPDATE: For anyone interested in heading to Siargao, please let me know (feel free to contact me directly at the email address above); I can provide information on the variety of homestays, bungalows, and resorts in the area, depending on your price range - all of them run by really, really nice people.

I had been planning on putting up this post — the 'down low' on surfing the Philippines — for a long time now. Hell. I had most of it done while I was still surfing in the Philippines, but I got distracted from actually posting it by all the surfing and fun I was having. Admittedly, much of this info has been pilfered from other people, but you know what they say: 'good writers borrow, great writers steal."

Anyway, this type of 'down low' is usually a big 'no-no', as you want to keep as few people from finding out about your favorite surf breaks (less competition for waves). However, chances are that most of the people reading this dribble would never venture from the States simply to go surfing, let alone head to the Philippines. So, for anyone planning such a trip (snicker), and interested in learning about the great surf breaks in the Philippines … well, here ya' go. If you're planning on heading there in April-May, lemme know, I should be back there by then.

Siargao Island, an island in the southeast of the Philippines, is blessed with spectacular beaches and crystal clear waters in an idyllic tropical setting. Thankfully, it is also one of the very (read: only) places in the Philippines that gets consistently good surf coming in from the depths of the Pacific Ocean.

At Siargao, the sea bed drops to 500 meters, then to 1500 meters just a mile off Tuason Point and Tuason reef (where I saw the most incredible triple-overhaead left-hander I've ever seen in my life — EVER). Thirty miles from General Luna (GL), it's 10,000 meters deep (that's Mt. Everest plus another 3,000 feet). Typhoons in season pass GL from the northeast, which bring in even bigger waves from the deep water.

CLOUD 9
A barreling right hander that is the most well-known break but only one of the many surfing spots on Siargao Island. A short boat ride out in the lagoon beyond, can take you out to Rock Island, Stimpy's and a few more breaks, stretching right up the east coast to Pilar, Pacifico and Burgos. Just a short walk from Patrick’s is a great break called Cemetery named after the cemetery that is located right on the beach facing the break.

JACKING HORSE:
A jacking peak that explodes on to a shallow reef, then tapers off and then reforms on the inner reef, mainly breaks right, with a short left, good to surf at 2` to 7` foot, medium to high tide is about the best time to surf.

BOMBORA OR POO SHOOTER`S:
A fast barreling left that run along a reef then turn right and runs into deep water, best with no wind or a light south west breeze, It is in viewing distance from the beach. There is a right and left hander 150 m to the north of Poo Shooter`s where you can either paddle across from Jacking Horse or hire a boat.

STIMPY'S:
A first class left-hander that wraps around a small island into a cove. Fun under 4 foot, but becomes a lot harder breaking over that size but still perfect breaking. Great tube and will handle large swells. Accessible only by boat, but it's within viewing distance from the shore with binoculars.

TUESDAY ROCK:
An excellent right hander that peels and barrels for 200 yards off Rock Island. Best with no wind low to medium tide and can hold swells up to double over head. Accessible only by boat, viewing distance from shore with binoculars.

SHIFTY'S:
A right hand reef break just south of Pilar inside the river mouth of Pilar, near Santa Fe, best at low to medium tide, south to south west wind. Fun right hander at 2 to 4 foot but will hold larger swells.

PILAR LEFT HANDER'S:
There are 2 left breaks; one breaks in front of the wharf of Pilar and the other breaks close to the township of Pilar.

CARIDAD LEFT OR SUPERTUBES:
This awesome left barrel breaks on a jagged reef ledge, east to north east swell is the best, protected from north west to south west winds which are off shore.

PACIFICO:
A long barreling left a bit upcoast that breaks down and along a reef & rocky ledge.

TUASON POINT OR CLOUD BREAK:
A very hard breaking left that jumps up 200 yards off shore and comes in and runs down over a shallow rocky reef, with great big holes. This is a very powerful and hard breaking wave. Wave selection is crucial at this break, 4 foot and over is the best.

CEMETERY's:
A left and right that breaks between a gap in the reef, directly in front of the General Luna cemetery. Northeast to southeast swell is the best for this break with a southwest to west wind. Accessible by boat (or via a really long paddle), viewing distance from shore with binoculars.

DAKU ISLAND:
There are 2 right hand breaks, one at the top of the island and the other in the middle. They both like north to north east swell and south to south east winds. You can also find other breaks good for learners and body surfing.

PANSUKYAN REEF:
This needs a medium to large swell direct from the east to southeast with light, southwest to west wind. This wave looks like an up side down tear drop shaped barrel that runs down a reef. The wave jumps up out of the ocean from nowhere.

PARADISE:
Right of the Beaches in Union is a beautiful break – nice for beginners.

LA-JANOZA, MAM-ON, ANTOKON, ANAJAUAN ISLAND:
There are another 4 or 5 perfect breaks and many others around these islands. Mamon Island has a beach break that can give you rides of more than 150 meters.

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I'm off to Kandy, Sri Lanka tommorow to get my tourist visa for India. I should be up in the region for the mandatory 5 days it apparently takes to run the visa. I'll be heading over to Ella, with random stops in whatever places don't seem to be on the LTTE's latest hitlist (I hope).

I'm leaving my boards here at Dinu's Resort - where I've been staying here in Mirissa for the past 2 weeks. I'll be coming back here for a few days before I leave for India.

As a quick note of blatant advertising — Dinu, his mother, Renu, and his 2 younger brothers, Dennis and Izu, have treated me like family. Also, Renu's cooking is probably THE best I've had here in Sri Lanka (which probably explains the extra 10-50 kilos Dinu's carrying around).

I therefore would wholeheartedly refer anyone who is even thinking of coming to Sri Lanka - for a surf trip or otherwise - make plans to stay with Dinu. The main break in town is literally right out front of his place, and the kid knows every other surf break in the surrounding 20 kilometers (he'd probably know more if he surfed more and ate less … no offense, Dinu, I'm just sayin').
Anyway, blatant promotion for Dinu's right here. Go there, you won't be disappointed.

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With the exception of a few well place 'Frenchies' here and there, I've never been particularly fond of the French to begin with.

Admittedly, I was never one of those rabid folks (i.e., dumbass Americans) who started referring to my french fries as 'freedom fries'. However, I always found the air of superiority wafted out by the majority of the French — together with a considerable amount of body odor, as well — more than just a bit distasteful.

If it weren't for their considerable history of promptly surrendering to any (and all) of their neighboring countries on the continent, perhaps that attitute may be justified. As it is, however, I have more respect for the guys working the late shift at the local 7-11. Until I meet a thousand more guys like these two great blokes in the Philippines, my opinion stands. Sorry.

That opinion now seems even more justified after the run in (pun intended) I had yesterday with 3 of the biggest kooks — all French — that I've ever met in my life. Three Frenchies were out in the water yesterday hooting and hollaring (perhaps they were trying to surrender to the Sri Lankans), and just getting in everyone's way.

One of them sat right in front of me while I was up on a really nice wave, looking me in the eyes and doing nothin else to move or otherwise allow me to maintain my position on the wave. I had to ditch.

Another dropped in on me while I was up on waves, not once, not twice, but three times in only a 1 hour session. Fucker.

The third of the group (part 'trois' if you're counting in French, which I doubt, because if you're French, chances are you're off looking for someone to surrender to) ran right into me while I was in the whitewater paddling away from him so he could ride his wave in peace. But instead of riding the wave, he turned right towards me before realizing there was something in his way. Upon reaching that conclusion, he ditched his board, kicking it right at my head (perhaps he thought it the best way to surrender). I moved just in time for it to hit me square in my right calf, which is now sporting a huge muscle bruise.

No apologies, no nothing. He just paddled back out. Nice. Three more reasons for me to go out for some 'freedom fries.'

Post script: My foot is now pretty well healed up, with the exception of the 1 or 2 remaining smaller spikes that are now poppin out randoming like zits on the face of a rabid Hannah Montana fan. Thanks to all for the concern (read: horror).

And in response to Jayne's crazy question as to what body part I will injure next for my rapt (read: cold and bored) audience, I now have both an answer and a reason why: my right calf, and because some French kook with a surfboard ran into me out in the surf.

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Yes, I was stupid enough to step DIRECTLY on a black sea urchin in my rush to get out into the surf break right in front of my new guest house in Marissa, SR. Yes, it fucking hurt.

Given my sister's fascination with divulging my various minor physical woes with my technologically inept parents (apparently in a unilateral attempt to turn the rest of my mom's hair grey), I had resolved not to discuss the matter any further.

However, I've been asked by several folks for details. So, with a request to my sister NOT to tell my parents about this (at this point, hopefully) trifling issue for now, here are the details.

I stepped on a whole flock of black sea urchins. For those not acquainted, they are a mass of hollow black spikes with tiny spurs on them, apparently present just to add that extra special touch.

If you happen to step on them and remove your foot back without moving side to side, it may be possible to break off the spike while they are still sticking out of your foot by a few centimeters. If you 'jerk' back your foot (or feet, in my case) in response to the shock of having razor sharp spikes jammed 1-2 centimeters into the soles of your feet (no, I am NOT kidding), then the spikes will break off just below the surface of the skin.

This makes removal a particularly wonderful experience.

A large majority of the spikes in my left foot fell into the former category, and thus were removed fairly easily (all but a small one, which I'm keeping as a pet). The right foot however was not so fortunate. I had about 20 spikes in all. Most of them were removed using a mixture of native plant seepage, Sri Lankan rum, and a big fat splif.

One particularly vicious spike went thru the outside of my pinky toe in such a way that, rather than trying to pull it out, it was actually easier to cut the skin along the length of it and remove it by opening the skin flap.

There were also several others that were too deep to remove with the instruments at hand (a safety pin, nair clippers, and a pair of tweezers (all of which obviously just cleaned in an alcohol bath, of course). For them, we applied a mix of coconut, sugar, and curry powder and let it sit overnight.

Yes, I let them do that to my foot. I'm a very trusting soul.

Amazingly, the mixture worked (for the most part), as all but two of the bigger spikes were drawn to the skin surface overnite. That's where the fun starts. Long story short, after letting Dinu (my host) dig around in my foot with a safety pin for the better part of 2 hours, we instead decided to go to the doctor and let him remove the remaining spikes (this turned out to be a VERY good idea, considering the spike we removed from my little toe had gotten poisoned and was swelling from infection).

We did, of course, go to the snake farm first. Dude, if you've never seen a brown cobra hissing and rearing at you from only a meter away from you, I HIGHLY recommend it. Okay, maybe not … I hear ya.

The doctor's 'office' was something special, as was also the local anesthetic that must be applied at the site of EACH puncture. After applying the local, the 'doc' went to replace the old scalpel head with a fresh (and presumably clean) blade. In doing so, the old blade 'popped' off and flew across the room, landing behind some table or another.

Both I and my new Brit friend Paul (who was there to get some drops for his manky ear) starting laughing hysterically at the flying scalpel blade. The doc was not amused, and after setting down some newspapers to mop up the blood, he set to work digging into the sole of my foot with a scalpel.

That was just precious. Absolutely precious.

Those of you who know me personally may know my quirk that I tend to laugh more in direct relation to the amount of pain I'm in. You can ask Paul, in a matters of only seconds I was laughing hysterically in a way I haven't since watching "Showgirls." Again, just precious.

So, there you've got it. I'm on penicillin to treat the infection/poison for the next few days, and I'm out of the water for at least 1 more day (day 4, in total). All total, the doctor and the drugs cost me about US$5.00. Not bad, all things considered.

Other than that, though, I'm having a blast. No, really! Before this sea urchin bullshit, I was getting some decent surf (not Indo surf, but still …), the food is simply AMAZING, the locals are nice to a fault (almost creepily so), and the other surf-tourists I've met to date have been absolutely fantastic.

Hey sis, knock yerself out. But if mom goes all postal over this shit, it's not my fault.

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