A Bowl of Stupid

The good folks at HBO Asia have been playing Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist in pretty heavy rotation this week. Apparently the movie came out a couple years ago, but this is the first I’m hearing of it since it never really got enough traction back in the States for them to release it out here in theatres.

As aptly described by Dan Carlson over at Pajiba, the movie, based on a young adult novel, “is the ultimate tribute to the idea of shoegazing emo pop as savior, and of the mix CD and iPod playlist as the perfect window into a boy or girl’s soul.”

And yes, I agree that the story itself was overly-simplified, Micheal Cera was completely miscast (there’s only so many times Micheal Cera can play himself before that shtick gets got old), and it all comes out feeling pre-packaged and branded. All that notwithstanding, I still found the whole of the film quite charming.

For one, I seem to remember through the fog of years and hallucinogens that, as a teen, my musical playlist actually DID feel like one of the few, if only, methods of accurately displaying to the world the depths of my soul. Secondly, I’m growing a bit of an unhealthy obsession with the leading actress, Kat Dennings (another Philadelphia Jew) — I think she’s adorable, and besides the massive boobs, she’s just got a certain je ne sais quoi.

And third, much like 500 Days of Summer (only more so), the solid Indie soundtrack and the mere recollection of City-bourne teenage angst is touching simply because it reminds me, once again, of a youth of joyful exuberance and hope, of love easily given and powerfully deep, and of even deeper heartache — all of which has long since been involuntarily relegated to the realm of distant memory.

Anyway, here’s one of the better songs from the soundtrack — Vampire Weekend’s Ottoman.

I usually try to avoid trashing people, either overtly or inadvertently, except for comedic purposes. I particularly try to avoid doing so when the trashees are my friends, or have at least been kind to me. And while this post may not, in the most technical of terms, constitute ‘trashing’, I’m not sure it’s something I’d particularly like to read if it were about me.

Regardless, for several years now, I’ve been a fan of, and am actually listed as a commentator on, the internet movie-review website ‘Pajiba.’

I first became involved with Pajiba when I was still living back in the States and most of my time at work was spent surfing the internet looking for cool and interesting things to read. Moreover, I understood Pajiba to have been started by a guy from similar circumstances as mine — law school trained, not satisfied with legal work, and looked elsewhere, starting an internet movie review site which, as he described it, provided ‘Scathing Reviews For Bitchy People.’

For those reasons alone, I became an almost instant fan of the site. And because the clever, witty, and indeed scathing reviews initially provided by Dustin and his partners to dissect Hollywood and the trash it has been producing in recent years, I stayed with Pajiba over the last several years … and the more than several thousands of miles.

For this, I was rewarded with several great new online (and in one case, personal) friendships. I also received, from time to time, an amazing amount of referral traffic to THIS site. And, until recently, I also enjoyed reading how the crew at Pajiba — who mostly have similar tastes in movies and music as I do — viewed (and vilified) the latest movies and music being released back in the States.

But, to be honest, the site no longer holds the same interest for me as it once did. And I’m not sure if I’ve simply strayed that far away from the pack in terms of the whole ‘online culture’, or if it’s a case of ‘The Emperor Has No Clothes’.

I think perhaps it may be a little of both.

I haven’t the inclination to describe in full just how I may no longer be ‘connected’, or why Pajiba may have strayed, except to say that I’ve got Indonesian language homework that now takes priority, and that most Pajiba posts these days are nonsensical, used simply as filler to maintain its online traffic and/or to otherwise provoke commentary from its readers. In this regard, the site, once professional and with lofty aspirations, has devolved into simply another blog site — one of trillions.

The straw that broke the camels back for me was a post yesterday reviewing the new Seth Rogan movie Observe and Report. And while the review itself was informative and entertaining, the comment section devolved into something straight out of The Lord Of The Flies.

I know it takes a lot to say that something has left a bad enough taste in my mouth to keep ME from going back … but this may have been it (something similar happened over at the DailyKos several years ago, I haven’t been back there since, and I’ve no idea whether it has emerged from all the infighting and backbiting and rudeness to become a better online journal).

Whereas most professional sites would close off commenting when it got even CLOSE to the point it did yesterday, Pajiba just let it keep rolling, prompting more and more, and worse and worse, commentary. Yet who can blame the commentators, really? Most of the recent posting was about the drunken escapades of the Pajiba writers at the 2009 SXSW Conference more than the movies they ostensibly went to review.

Sure, I want to know how my friends are fairing during their working-vacation, but that’s the stuff of blog posts, not an ostensibly professional entertainment website. When the inmates are allowed run of the asylum, you know it’s time to open the ward room window and climb on out, before they give you a pre-frontal lobotomy and Chief Bromden has to smother you with a pillow.

Pajiba is a great concept. It’s run by some really nice people. And it was initially executed well enough to draw me and thousands of other faithful. Yet, while I’m not one to lecture (just ramble), I’d suggest that Dustin and the crew may want to review what they initially wanted to accomplish with Pajiba.

If this is it, that’s fine, so be it … I’ve strayed too far into the offline world for the site to still fulfill my admittedly shitty tastes. But if this ain’t exactly what they had in mind, it’s not too late to go back to writing something the general public considers worth reading.

They’ve got the skills, all they need is the determination.

I’m in Coolangatta (Gold Coast), Queensland, Australia.

It’s been about 1 and one-half years now since the last time I was in a Western country. So yes, I am feeling very much like an Amish kid on vacation in the big city. But regardless, today was an absolutely awesome fuckin’ day:

• I am in an English speaking country again.
• I can drink water from the tap again (an added benefit, considering a bottle of water costs 3 freakin’ dollars).
• I’ve been hanging with my good friend all day again.
• I bought a sick new surfboard (a 6’4″ Darren Handley, cuz apparently surfboards are the ONLY things cheaper here than in Asia).
• I watched the Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast, the first stop of the 2009 ASP World Pro Surfing Tour.

And, most importantly:

• I ate real cheese for the first time in almost 2 years.

Yes, I’ve still got an extreme case of culture shock. But the cheese helped.

I like it here very much. I really do.

First off, while I really do appreciate all the emails I’ve received over the past couple weeks concerning my (apparently far too well documented) love-life, I will say that commenting on the site itself is far more helpful at times — in terms of site-traffic and my own reading (given my constant traveling on and off the grid).

Anyhoo … right now, I’m still in Borneo. Malaysian Borneo, to be precise.

After leaving Brunei, I flew into Kota Kinabalu, the largest of the Borneo airports, where I stayed/slept overnight before taking a connecting flight to Sandakan, which is known for its proximity to one (1) of four (4) of the only natural orangutan preserves in the world.

After meeting up with my friends in Sandakan, we made the hour trip to the jungle preserve, where we stayed for two (2) days seeing all kinds of neat shit — orangutan’s, macaque monkeys (mean little fuckers, they are), monitor lizards, hornbills, and the ever elusive Honky-Tonky, Winky-Wonky Monkey.

From there, we went off the grid for a couple days, heading to the Kinabatangan River in southwest Malaysia — which, measuring 560km, is the longest river in Sabah — where we took stayed overnight for a river tour through the forest.

It was really nice. We saw wild elephants, proboscis monkeys (the ones with huge noses), pig-tailed macaques again, and a whole bunch of other great shit. I usually don’t go in for the whole ‘set-up safari’ kinda thing (preferring to instead just hire a boat and do it myself), but I was with friends and it was a fun time.

We left yesterday morning, traveling all day via 3 separate buses, and arrived here — in Semporna, Malaysia — yesterday evening. There’s finally phone and internet service again, so it’ll be nice to catch up and take care of some business that I’ve been neglecting over the past couple weeks.

I’ve yet to get a bead on this place. It’s a port town, and it lies on the border of three (3) countries — Malaysia, Indonesia, and the Philippines — so it’s got that dodgy ‘port-town’ feel. It is best known for its amazing diving (according to some, among one of the best in the world) … and for its international piracy (due to its location, its an almost ideal smuggling and/or escape route from/between Malaysia, Indo, and the Philippines). So there’s a HUGE military presence here.

Yet despite this, and the ubiquitous tourist vibe due to the whole diving scene, the place also has a great vibe. Unlike Indo, where it’s almost expected and/or frowned upon to hav a cursory knowledge of Indonesian, when they hear my limited Malaysian (the same language, but for slang — sorta like the US and the UK) here, the faces light up, they laugh, and they try to help me with the next sentence. It’s still unique, I think, for them to see foreigners who speak even a little Malay in this part of the country.

Ironically, I’ve avoided this part of the area since there’s no surf here, and it turns out to be one of the nicest places I’ve visited in Southeast Asia so far.

In two (2) days, we’re going diving — taking a boat out to an old converted oil-rig, on which we’ll be staying for four (4) days diving our brains out (9 dives in 3 days, I think). I’m not sure if they have internet on the diving rig, so after tomorrow, I may be off the grid again.

We’ll see how it unfolds.

So I’ve got this really bad problem about not being able to sleep-in late when I’ve got a hangover. Which explains why I’m writing a blog post at 7 a.m. Saturday morning after only a few hours of sleep and with a pounding headache.

Yeah, my pain is your pain, fuckers.

It’s pretty comical (well, not in any kind of “ha-ha” way) in that when I’m in Indonesia, I really don’t go out at all, I eat healthy, I sleep well, I surf and do my yoga regularly. So I stay pretty even keeled.

But literally my first full night back in Bangkok, I’m drinking, smoking, clubbing, and finding dead hookers in my bed generally having a mess of things.

I love it here, I really do. But if I stay too long, I’ll probably be dead by next Thursday — my liver and lungs ruined, and my kidneys in the possession of some Dutch guy who bought them on the black market for 5000 baht.

You guys know that’s just a joke, right? Thailand’s not really not that crazy (well, sorta … ish).

As noted in my prior post, I admittedly haven’t felt this proud to be an American in a VERY long time (maybe when the Phillies won the Series back in 1980, but I can’t be sure).

However, that being said, it’s time to move on.

And what better way is there to move on (other than returning to the frozen wasteland from whence thy came) then by picking up some worthless Battlestar Galactica memorabilia!

Don’t get me wrong, I am most definitely NOT a Battlestar Galactica nerd fanboy. I’m just hoping to pick up a Cylon Number Six — I heard they’re selling for pennies on the dollar!!

CNN is reporting that, over the past several years, the U.S. government has been spying on Americans’ intimate conversations abroad. In particular, the report states:

A terrorist surveillance program instituted by the Bush administration allows the intelligence community to monitor phone calls between the United States and overseas without a court order — as long as one party to the call is a terror suspect.

Adrienne Kinne, a former U.S. Army Reserves Arab linguist, told ABC News the NSA was listening to the phone calls of U.S. military officers, journalists and aid workers overseas who were talking about “personal, private things with Americans who are not in any way, shape or form associated with anything to do with terrorism.”

David Murfee Faulk, a former U.S. Navy Arab linguist, said in the news report that he and his colleagues were listening to the conversations of military officers in Iraq who were talking with their spouses or girlfriends in the United States.

According to Faulk, they would often share the contents of some of the more salacious calls stored on their computers, listening to what he called “phone sex” and “pillow talk.”

So lemme get this straight … on the one hand, we’ve sacrficed our civil liberties so the ‘god fearing’ folks in the Bush Administration could moniter our personal calls, emails, etc.; while on the other hand, a whole other set of civil liberties have been lost because those same nutjobs, in the name of everything holy, work to ban ‘pornographic’ material on U.S. goverment installations.

As a result, governmental personnel have now resorted to listening in on ‘phone sex’ calls smply to get their daily recommended allowance of porn. Umm … does that pretty much sum it up?

Does anyone else see the irony here, or am I taking crazy pills again?

As noted, I’m here on Siargao Island — ostensibly for the surf. Well, the surf ain’t here, but that still hasn’t taken away from the ridiculously great time I’ve been having. Frankly, I’m on ‘island time’ now and I don’t want to write much, photo much, or do much of anything, really.

For those who are interested, Siargao is located in Surigao del Norte, a province of the Philippines located in the Caraga region in Mindanao. The province consists of two major islands—Siargao and Bucas Grande Island—in the Philippine Sea, and a small region at the northernmost tip of the island of Mindanao.

In addition to the surfing, the province is known for having many caves and tunnel systems in its islands. Some are half-submerged in water most of the time and can be accessed only during low tides — like the Suhoton Cave at Bucas Grande Island, where we went the other day.

That’s also where these photos were taken by a professional photographer friend of mine. He’s graciously allowed me to post the pictures on my Flickr account … for the benefit of you freakin’ yaa-hoos. So enjoy, and I’ll be posting more of them (and others) soon … if I find the energy.

I’m heading back to my palm tree hammock, mango shake, and masseuse. Ahhh …

Well, after spending an interesting few days travelling from Bangkok, through Manila and Cebu city (via air), Surigao city (via overnight ferry), and Dapa city (via fast ferry), I’m back at the place shown in the above photo — General Luna, Siargao Island, Surigao Del Norte, Philippines.

The trip wasn’t, however, without it’s issues:

I’m in an island paradise on the very western edge of the Pacific Ocean. I went out for a surf ths morning (small, but fun), and I’ll be here for another month.

Sweet!!

(Rote, Nusa Tenggara, Indonesia)

Okay, I put up on my Flickr Account the first batch of new picture from Rote, for those of you that still give a crap (which pretty much comes down to Manny and the other random stragglers that accuse me of plagiarism … on the Internet! — don’t worry I’ll get to that …).

I’m leaving Bali in the next couple hours back through Jakarta, and then back to Bangkok later tonight. Home sweet home … such as it is.

I’ll be there a couple of weeks before leaving for the Philippines … at this point, probably for the remainder of the summer. We’ll see how it goes, right?

Finally, for everyone that wrote to me (both publicly and privately) during the last few weeks while I was away, I plan on doing a ‘group response post’ — addressing each of the comments, suggestions, compliments, and, in one case, an interesting ‘call out’ on some television script writing I ‘borrowed’ from (ahem) about 200 months back.

To all of you (including you, Pat), thanks for taking notice, and hopefully I’ll give y’all something else good to get pissed off about soon enough. Until then, just chill out and take a look at the photos from Rote (which I ALSO stole … hahahaha!).

So … I’m back in Singapore, en route to my next surfing destination.

I left Bangkok yesterday morning and I’ve stopped over in Singapore to visit with a friend, pick up some long-lost supplies, and generally get my shit in order before heading back down to Indonesia for the next month.

Among such supplies is my camera’s USB cord, which I left here in November when I thought I’d be back in only a few weeks. Now, almost 5 months later, I’ve FINALLY been able to upload the pictures from my recent trips HERE (the Philippines), HERE (Sri Lanka), and HERE (India) (sorry, no pics from Bangkok — my camera went ‘tits up’ a few weeks ago).

Oh, and Manny? … TK?

Just in case both of your busy ‘work schedules’ keep you from browsing through all of those pics — there’s a picture showing the aftermath of my Sri Lankan sea urchin encounter HERE, and another showing the result of my motorbike accident from the Philippines HERE.

Enjoy ‘em, you sadistic fucks (but I mean that in a nice way).

Anyway, I’ve also been planning on swinging through Kuta, Bali on my way out towards ‘all points water‘ to pick up requisite surfing supplies (wax, ding repair kit, fins, etc.). Kuta ain’t my favorite place in the world, but unfortunately, it’s one of the few — if not the only — place in all of Southeast Asia where surfing supplies are available (ironically, Phuket also apparently has one lone surf shop, but I wasn’t going to risk a trip just to find they had nothing I need).

Apparently, however, the second coming of Christ is happening in Bali this month — because every single fucking flight from Singapore to Bali is booked for the next 10 days (except first class tickets — which we all know I don’t qualify for). This has left me just a BIT flustered, considering that last summer I was able to get a cheap flight to Bali almost instantly.

Luckily, I learned that I’m not as dumb as I thunk I is. Apparently I’ve either got a guardian garden gnome or had the foresight to leave myself a care package here in Singapore — replete with surf wax, an epoxy ding-repair kit, and even extra fins. Nice!

So … fuck you Bali, hello Sumatra! (Krui, southern Sumatra … to be precise).

I’ve heard some pretty good things about the place — including the fact that it’s not TOO crowded yet. Considering the number of surfers I saw in Indonesia last year, I’m not holding my breathe. But all in all, I’m pretty stoked about checking out the Sumatran mainland. If things go well, I may even head up to the Mentawai Islands and/or Nias while I’m down in the area. We’ll just see how it unfolds.

Rather than wasting US$800 on an unnecessary flight to Bali, I can take a flight from here to Jakarta (and then onward through Bandar Lampung) for only US$35.00-US$45.00. This stuff just confirms my thinking that, if you just don’t force it, sometimes these things just have a way of working themselves out.

I hope to pick up the plane tickets later today, and then I’ll be leaving over the weekend. I’ll keep writing whenever I find Internet connections, so keep in touch. Stay well and have a good month, everyone. Peace, out.

The latest edition (March 2008) of Atlantic Monthly contains an altogether disconcerting article entitled “Marry Him!”, which can essentially be boiled down to the following excerpt:

At their core, many single women pose one of the most complicated, painful, and pervasive dilemmas they are forced to grapple with nowadays: Is it better to be alone, or to settle?

My advice is this: Settle!

That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year.

No, I don’t think the author, Lori Gottlieb, is trying to be ‘ironical.’ And no, I don’t want to think too hard on the fact that much of her theory is based not on empirical data, but rather, an analysis of several American television shows — Friends, the Mary Tyler Moore Show, Will and Grace, and, of course, Sex And The City (‘SaTC’).

For purposes of this article, let’s just assume the premise that no in-depth discussion of the modern female condition would be complete without a critical analysis of SaTC. I wonder if the author is gonna have a conniption fit when she finds out that Carrie Bradshaw is getting married to “Mr. Perfect’ (i.e., ‘Mr. Big’) in the upcoming SaTC movie. (No, I haven’t seen the script or the trailer, but c’mon — it’s a movie about an unmarried 40-something 30-something horse woman geared towards attracting an audience of similarly situated women whom ALL look forward to their wedding day the same way most men look forward to a nice T-Bone steak — let’s just call it an educated guess.)

That said, based on these obviously well-reasoned theorems, the author claims that:

[Most women], like me, would rather feel alone in a marriage than actually be alone, because they, like me, realize that marriage ultimately isn’t about cosmic connection—it’s about how having a teammate, even if he’s not the love of your life, is better than not having one at all.

Good grief, I thought I was a disillusioned cynic, but this broad far surpasses me in that department. Truly, I don’t want to even think about the size and quantity of skeletons in this woman’s closet that would make her sink to this level of premeditated desperation. Really, I don’t.

I am, however, admittedly curious as to the general reaction by the female ranks to this article — one better suited to Marie Claire or Cosmopolitan magazines than to a purportedly respected journal such as the Atlantic.

Have things gotten so bad that the USA has devolved into nation full of desperate women willing to dismiss major character failings (oh, and lest we forget … halitosis) in favor of simply having a full-time companion about whom they can kvetch to their girlfriends? Because if the majority of American women feel, as the author of this article does, that it’s about time they too settled for something a little (or a lot) less than perfect … well, then I guess I should catch the next flight back to the States!

Is this really what ‘true love’ has been reduced to in the minds of contemporary success-oriented adult women:

So if you rarely see your husband — but he’s a decent guy who takes out the trash and sets up the baby gear, and he provides a second income that allows you to spend time with your child instead of working 60 hours a week to support a family on your own — how much does it matter whether the guy you marry is The One?

Aww honey, shush … you had me at ‘mundane.’

For anyone still playing — or interested, for that matter — I’m happy and healthy and back on the beach in Krabi (Railai Bay), Thailand.

Honestly, after India, I feel like a giant weight has been taken off of my shoulders (and out of my guts). I’m eating again (pad tai by the gallon) to regain my strength, I’m rock climbing again to regain my balance, and I’m partying again for the first time in months with all my really good friends from Singapore and Bangkok … to regain my cirrhosis of the liver, I suppose.

I am, in a word … happy. And that’s an understatement.

I head back to Bangkok on Friday — my friend is throwing an MTV Asia party at his hotel on Friday nite, with Thievery Corporation and several other really great DJ’s on scene. After next weekend, though, I’m not sure where I head to next. All I know is that I want to get back to some really nice surfing, but I’m not quite sure where.

Any suggestions?