So, needless to say, we’ve been making some minor modifications to the site recently. It’s not that I really wanted to (hell, I’ve barely anything coherent to write about anymore), but due to software incompatibility issues, I was forced to upgrade my version of Wordpress.

I’m still checking out the new application, but I’ve already had to make some formatting changes and there may be more. If anyone is conversant in Wordpress 2.8 or higher and has any suggestions re: themes, widgets, and any other neat stuff that’s been released over the past … oh, say four (4) years or so, please lemme know. (and for Sasquach, you’ll be happy to know the latest version has an auto-save function, if you’re in the mood to do some guest writing — ‘cha!, as if!).

In the midst of all these formatting and software changes, I somehow managed to fit in a few of the movies that came out back in the States over the last several months. And while I was disappointed with a couple of those flix — Up In The Air & Where The Wild Things Are being the biggest of them — I was absolutely overwhelmed by yet another — 500 Days of Summer.

From what I’ve read, the movie has gone from media darling to industry goat in only a matter of months. I’m no longer back in that scene, so I’ve no idea how or why the hipsters have reacted to this movie, admittedly geared directly towards their dilated pupils.

The reaction, like the audience, is reminiscent of the response following Zach Braff’s Garden State. Each of the two movies do admittedly follow the love lives of a couple of 20-something neo-hipsters, they both make use of absolutely remarkable musical soundtracks, and both feature the locale as much as the characters (New Jersey and Los Angeles, respectfully).

But from there, the comparisons begin to slide — at least in my mind. Whereas Garden State got bogged down in trifling melancholy and predictable plot development, Summer instead plotted a truer course — mostly due to its beautiful screenplay and the charisma of its two leading actors, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel.

Their portrayal of what happens, not what movies tell us should or do happen, but what ACTUALLY happens during the course of a relationship is not something I recall seeing in a movie in recent memory, if ever. I’ve been in situations where each of the two of them were portraying in the movie — and I felt as if it could have been my life being depicted onscreen. That is art. That is talent. That is relating to your audience. That is how to properly tell a story — by letting your audience feel as if it were their own.

For me, there are much bigger forces behind my particular attachment with the movie, which I really don’t feel like going into at the moment. But I feel the need to post at least one more song from (and artfully used in) the movie — Regina Spector’s Hero. Unless something significant comes up in the interim, I’ve no doubt I’ll post more in the coming days.

Continuing with the early ’90s era musical kick I’m on this week, I’m going back to a less intense song. Partly because I’ve been listening to it over and over the past couple days, but mostly because I’m not really up for a heavier song this morning — apparently consuming large quantities of rum until 0400 a.m. can lead to an absolutely agonizing hangover.

Yeah, who knew, right?

So here’s another tune from the Singles Soundtrack (I don’t care how ‘gimmicky’ and exploitative of the then up-and-coming Seattle-scene that people say the move was, it still had one of the best soundtracks ever produced). Knock yourselves out.

P.S. Please kill me.

Chris Cornell – Seasons

In honor of the newly baptized ‘Swine Flu’ pandemic emanating from the great State of Mexico (the 51st, I believe), I thought the following tune from one of the most unappreciated bands from the late 1980’s — Big Pig, may be appropriate.

The song is Breakaway, and for those of you under the age of 25, the video is from the opening credits to one of THE best movies of all time — 1989’s Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (ironically, the clip is from a Spanish dubbed version of the movie).

Enjoy … and keep the hell away from me, you infected bastards.

It’s been widely reported that X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the blockbuster that was supposed to start the wave of 2009 summer movies, is really bad. This, after the unfinished movie was leaked online a month before its world premiere.

The authorized movie trailers do nothing to dispel the buzz that the film is nothing more than a celebrity-packed “B movie.”

And just last night, I saw something locally here in Asia that just adds more fuel to the fire.

Out here in Asia, we’re understandably limited in the number of English speaking television networks, with HBO, Star World and XPN being three (3) of the most ubiquitous. Both HBO and Star have sister networks, with Star Movies being the most popular of the Star networks.

This week, Star Movies is advertising that it will be showing X-Men Origins: Wolverine on PAY PER VIEW on it’s Asian release date next week, rather than going to movie theatres. Let me say that again, THE summer blockbuster has been reduced to essentially a ’straight to DVD’ production.

Great news, as I can look forward to seeing a pirated DVD version I can buy for .50 cents (US) in the next few days!

I usually try to avoid trashing people, either overtly or inadvertently, except for comedic purposes. I particularly try to avoid doing so when the trashees are my friends, or have at least been kind to me. And while this post may not, in the most technical of terms, constitute ‘trashing’, I’m not sure it’s something I’d particularly like to read if it were about me.

Regardless, for several years now, I’ve been a fan of, and am actually listed as a commentator on, the internet movie-review website ‘Pajiba.’

I first became involved with Pajiba when I was still living back in the States and most of my time at work was spent surfing the internet looking for cool and interesting things to read. Moreover, I understood Pajiba to have been started by a guy from similar circumstances as mine — law school trained, not satisfied with legal work, and looked elsewhere, starting an internet movie review site which, as he described it, provided ‘Scathing Reviews For Bitchy People.’

For those reasons alone, I became an almost instant fan of the site. And because the clever, witty, and indeed scathing reviews initially provided by Dustin and his partners to dissect Hollywood and the trash it has been producing in recent years, I stayed with Pajiba over the last several years … and the more than several thousands of miles.

For this, I was rewarded with several great new online (and in one case, personal) friendships. I also received, from time to time, an amazing amount of referral traffic to THIS site. And, until recently, I also enjoyed reading how the crew at Pajiba — who mostly have similar tastes in movies and music as I do — viewed (and vilified) the latest movies and music being released back in the States.

But, to be honest, the site no longer holds the same interest for me as it once did. And I’m not sure if I’ve simply strayed that far away from the pack in terms of the whole ‘online culture’, or if it’s a case of ‘The Emperor Has No Clothes’.

I think perhaps it may be a little of both.

I haven’t the inclination to describe in full just how I may no longer be ‘connected’, or why Pajiba may have strayed, except to say that I’ve got Indonesian language homework that now takes priority, and that most Pajiba posts these days are nonsensical, used simply as filler to maintain its online traffic and/or to otherwise provoke commentary from its readers. In this regard, the site, once professional and with lofty aspirations, has devolved into simply another blog site — one of trillions.

The straw that broke the camels back for me was a post yesterday reviewing the new Seth Rogan movie Observe and Report. And while the review itself was informative and entertaining, the comment section devolved into something straight out of The Lord Of The Flies.

I know it takes a lot to say that something has left a bad enough taste in my mouth to keep ME from going back … but this may have been it (something similar happened over at the DailyKos several years ago, I haven’t been back there since, and I’ve no idea whether it has emerged from all the infighting and backbiting and rudeness to become a better online journal).

Whereas most professional sites would close off commenting when it got even CLOSE to the point it did yesterday, Pajiba just let it keep rolling, prompting more and more, and worse and worse, commentary. Yet who can blame the commentators, really? Most of the recent posting was about the drunken escapades of the Pajiba writers at the 2009 SXSW Conference more than the movies they ostensibly went to review.

Sure, I want to know how my friends are fairing during their working-vacation, but that’s the stuff of blog posts, not an ostensibly professional entertainment website. When the inmates are allowed run of the asylum, you know it’s time to open the ward room window and climb on out, before they give you a pre-frontal lobotomy and Chief Bromden has to smother you with a pillow.

Pajiba is a great concept. It’s run by some really nice people. And it was initially executed well enough to draw me and thousands of other faithful. Yet, while I’m not one to lecture (just ramble), I’d suggest that Dustin and the crew may want to review what they initially wanted to accomplish with Pajiba.

If this is it, that’s fine, so be it … I’ve strayed too far into the offline world for the site to still fulfill my admittedly shitty tastes. But if this ain’t exactly what they had in mind, it’s not too late to go back to writing something the general public considers worth reading.

They’ve got the skills, all they need is the determination.

As noted in my prior post, I admittedly haven’t felt this proud to be an American in a VERY long time (maybe when the Phillies won the Series back in 1980, but I can’t be sure).

However, that being said, it’s time to move on.

And what better way is there to move on (other than returning to the frozen wasteland from whence thy came) then by picking up some worthless Battlestar Galactica memorabilia!

Don’t get me wrong, I am most definitely NOT a Battlestar Galactica nerd fanboy. I’m just hoping to pick up a Cylon Number Six — I heard they’re selling for pennies on the dollar!!

Wanting to take full advantage of being back in the big city before I head out once again into the wilderness, I’ve just returned from my second trip to the movie theatre in as many days — this time I saw the new Hellboy II – The Golden Army film.

Remember how I JUST got done talkin’ smack about the new Batman/Dark Knight film — saying how it lacked character and originality?

Well, after seeing the new Hellboy flick, I take it all back (or at least some of it).

Hoeee-leeey crap, did that Hellboy movie suck balls — big, red, demonic, monster balls, to be precise. Man, I don’t know what the mouth breathing knuckle-draggers who made THAT steaming pile of crap were thinking, but it sure wasn’t about how to make a good movie.

Yeah, I know, I should’ve expected as much from a Hellboy sequal, but it was directed by Guillermo Del Toro and I thought the previews looked pretty good. Whatever …

Anyway, it sure did give me a new perspective on the new Batman film. Sure, being an ‘okay’ movie awash in a sea of garbage it’s fairly akin to being the skinniest kid at fat camp — but I guess, at the end of the day, you’re still getting laid more than the other tubbo’s by comparason.

P.S. I liked Ranylt’s comment to my prior post so much, I decided to take 10 minutes out of my extremely busy schedule and put my limited ‘photoshopping’ skills to work in making a Stuart Smalley Joker:

Sadly, it looks much too much like the real thing. And if anyone thinks they can do any better in 10 minutes, well, you can go suck it. Suck it long. And suck it hard.

Anyway, I’m back home in Bangkok.

I mentioned in a comment over at TK’s place that one of the primary reasons I came back here (after getting a decent massage or 10) was to see the new Batman / Dark Knight movie.

I’m an admitted comic book/movie junkie; I think Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, and Morgan Freeman are ALL very talented actors; and of the popular comics, the Batman comic (whose protagonist has no ’super powers’ beyond being a multi-billionaire) is one that is most grounded in reality. Moreover, just about everyone I’ve read, spoken to, etc., has said the movie was absolutely the best comic movie they’ve ever seen.

Sounds promising, right?

Umm … yeah, not so much. It ain’t all that.

I really don’t get it. I saw the movie last night on the gihugent IMAX screen over at Siam Square, and while the cinematography was grande (which may be simply be explained by the 16 meter high screen), the rest of the movie was remarkably … dull.

Yes, the acting was decent, yes, Ledger portrayed Jack Nicholson the Joker very well, yes, the special effects were what we’ve all come to expect from big budget Hollywood films. But holy fuck people, come ON!! At the end of the day, it’s just Blue Steel!!

They’re just rehashing all the same ol’ shit. A little bit of Sin City here, a bit of Batman Begins there, a sprinkling of Steven King there, then add in some Beetlejuice makeup and Spider Man-esque special effects for flavour — and boom, instant blockbuster.

Much has been said about how ‘dark and sinister’ this film is — which sets it apart from all the other comic book adaptions. But again … c’mon, it’s BATMAN. The tone of this film owes more to Frank Miller — who single-handedly reintroduced Batman as the now familiar psychologically dark character — than to the present cast and crew. Indeed, Miller’s portrayal of Batman as a dark and compulsive figure has dominated most later Batman projects to at least some degree, including the 1989 Batman film.

Moreover, critics said the same thing about the story’s ‘new, darker version’ when disecting Batman Begins (“In “Batman Begins,” director Christopher Nolan gets back to a deeper, darker vision of the Caped Crusader”) — simply because they both followed the campy, money-driven silliness into which the earlier Batman films had devolved.

For me, the Dark Knight wasn’t ‘darker’ and more sinister. it was simply longer and duller — proving that no matter no much ‘mood’ a movie tries to shove down your throat, they’re still no replacing a solid script and honest, beleivable characters.

Granted, it was an ‘okay’ movie, but it doesn’t hold a candle (no pun intended) to any one of a plethora of darker, more comprehensive ‘dark’ film noir adaptations — One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, The Shining, and the first Batman movie, to name just a few (and yes, there’s a reason I chose all Nicholson films).

Hell, even Superman 3 had Richard Pryor in it. All I got for bad acting and funny faces in The Dark Knight was Maggie Gyllenhaal. On the bright side, at least she caught on fire, too.

Yeah, this turned more into a movie review than a simple rant. Sorry about that, from now on I’ll leave that shit to the professionals — they can tell the difference between Blue Steel and Magnum (oh my, it’s glorious).

   
Any Questions?

Okay, I’ll admit it — I’m a bit of a comic book junkie. Always have been, probably always will be.

For that reason alone, I’d been looking forward to the new Iron Man movie for a while now. However, with all the traveling I’ve been doing, I kinda forgot about the whole thing until I got back to Bangkok last week.

Luckily for me (and for Marvel), posters of Robert Downey Jr. in that goddamn iron suit are pasted up all around Bangkok — so it took me all of .025 seconds to remember about the film. Also luckily for me, the film was formally released in Bangkok theaters on 30 April (about 3 days ago), and unofficially released several weeks prior by the guy selling bootleg DVD’s down on Sukhumvit Road.

So I’ve had the opportunity to see the movie twice so far.

And I gotta tell ya’ … it’s not bad. In fact, it’s a pretty freakin’ good.

Admittedly, it takes neither a genius nor a sneak-peak at the script to figure out the plot, before ever stepping foot into a theater (or the Sukhumvit) — successful, morally destitute, yet fundamentally good protagonist suffers harm at hands of TRULY evil persons … realizes the error of his ways … find means to rectify past wrongs and help save the world (in this case, such ‘means’ being a post-modern bullet-proof flying suit) … hilarity ensues … blah, blah, blah.

And yes, Iron Man can be enjoyed as just another action/adventure superhero movie — with all the requisite blockbuster CGI special effects. But thanks to the strength of primary casting (Downey, Jeff Bridges, Terrance Howard), the movie also works on a more human-scale — as a drama about a reckless man who, in discovering his conscious, decides that being a playboy weapons manufacturer may not be a ‘morally sound’ way to conduct his life.

On paper, Iron Man and his alter-ego Tony Stark look rather generic, but in the hands of Downey and director, Jon Favreau (remember Swingers?), the stock superhero character is redefined as a screwball romantic that hides a deeper, contemplative side — sort of like a Nick Charles (The Thin Man) for the 21st century.

Admittedly, Downey was an unlikely choice to play a superhero, but his own dark past, infectious self-deprecating humor, intuitive sense of timing, and astounding acting skills infuse the main character with a depth not otherwise seen in films based on comic books.

In fact, the only other actor with the skills to effectively pull that off was Christian Slater in the later-day Batman movies. However, unlike those (and several other deliriously boring superhero flicks), Favreau and Downey remember the underlying issue about comic book movies — generally speaking, they’re not meant to be ponderous and steeped in existential angst.

They’re supposed to be fun!

In the case of Iron Man, the filmmakers understood the priority had to be fun, albeit tempered with some real world content and criticism; which makes for an entertaining, fun, and yet still ultimately realistic story.

The only, and weakest, link in Iron Man was the casting of Gweneth Paltrow as Downey’s assistant/love interest. I won’t argue the point — she may have been a great actress at one time, but in this role she faltered … HUGELY. In fact, every time she appeared on film, I guarantee you that the minds behind Iron Man were squirming in the seats at the ridiculousness of her shallow acting — hoping, as I did, that Downey’s skills were sufficient to carry the load.

Lucky for them they are. Truly, if ever there was a poster boy for everything that can be accomplished despite the ravages of drug addiction, Robert Downey Jr. is the guy. Go check out the movie, and check out how a modern-day superhero is SUPPOSED to look.

I’m back in Bangkok. God, it feels so good just to write that out.

Admittedly, it’s not like I’ve got all that much to do in the first place, but I’ve accomplished so much in just the past several days that I just really enjoy being back. I’m in Bangkok … and I’m loving it.

• I’ve resolved all the online banking and money issues with which I was dealing while surfing in the bowels of Southern Sumatra.
• I’ve spoken and/or emailed with most everyone I had neglected during the past month (most importantly, the parentals).
• I’ve FINALLY purchased new clothes needed to replace most of those I originally brought with me from the States that were either lost, destroyed, or no longer fit — I’ve lost about 10 more pounds since I left, and all of my clothes are about 2,000 sizes too big (my waist size has dropped from 36 to 30 inches).
• I’ve gorged myself on the seemingly endless supply of great diverse food to be found here in Bangkok — Mexican, American, Italian, Thai — as long as it does NOT include rice in any shape or form (I ate nothing but rice in Indo, and I need a few weeks break).
• I’ve stocked up with a nice selection of pirated DVD’s of all the latest movies (by the way, the new ‘Iron Man’ movie fucking ROCKS!!)
• And, most importantly, I’ve been to the local massage parlor (not THAT kind, you freaks) about 200 times during the past week. My muscles are fully recovered from the one month of almost nonstop surfing, and my back has been cracked up more times than Chris Rock in ‘New Jack City.’

Now, all I have left to do is get the electricity turned back on in the apartment (the local electric company turns it off only 2-3 days after the bill is overdue). It’s been several days now, because I just today (Saturday) figured out how and where to pay the bill, which is written entirely in Thai.

It’s a small price to pay, tho. I’ve got an extra battery for my laptop, and the local coffee shop has free wireless AND air conditioning. Nice.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an appointment, and the girls at ‘Mama Sans’ hate to be kept waiting.

* The title of this post, for the unaffiliated (i.e., anyone OTHER than that musical idiot-savant, TK) is taken from a Sufjan Stevens song.

Taking advantage of my brief sojourn into the lands of shopping malls and air conditioned movie theatres, I opted to go to Plaza Singapura the other day to see Robert Redford’s latest movie, Lions For Lambs.

I’ll leave the more sublime dissection of this glorified ABC After School Special to the professionals.

However, having seen the movie in a ‘non-domestic’ setting (i.e., outside the U.S.), there are several things about the movie I picked up on that I may not have had I seen it back in the States. I do at least want to mention them.

Of the movie itself, I will say this — despite addressing one of the most polarizing issues in the last 25 years (America’s psychopathic, and seemingly unending, rampage throughout East Asia), and boasting the talents of some of Hollywood’s best actors — this has got to be one of the most BORING movies I’ve seen since The English Patient (which means something, considering I too was one of the several hapless victims of ‘The Horse Whisperer’).

The point I realized there was a problem is when I found myself trying to learn to read Chinese by matching up the sub-titles (standard for all international films shown in Singapore) with the dialogue on the screen. (That didn’t go so well, by the way. Unlike Wayne Campbell, I’m having no luck learning Mandarin.)

It really is unfortunate, because the film – at scattered, albeit brief, moments along the way – says everything either that I’ve said or heard others say in the past 5 years about the Bush Administration, the Mainstream Media, the War in Iraq, and the ‘War on Terror’ (oh, and how’s that ‘War on Drugs going, by the way?).

Unfortunately, most of these insightful flashes (positive or negative, depending on your view) are either obfuscated by horrible duologue, marred by formulaic acting, and reduced to parody by script recitation — all of which were seemingly retrieved via a daring rescue of the scraps from the cutting room floor of Star Wars III.

Shit, I never thought I’d say this, but Mannequin Skywalker gave a more nuanced performance than did Meryl Streep in this film.

More disquieting is that the movie is, quite simply, a means by which the studio seemingly berates today’s political, media, and social machinery that treats the general public as a bunch of sophomoric high-school students — while at the same time, by and through the preachy, long-winded, convoluted, self-righteous, boring-ass tone of the movie, treats them just as poorly.

Simply put, Lions For Lambs, in my opinion, ironically (unintentionally, in all likelihood) does the same thing of which it complains — talking down to its audience, the general public.

I mean, really … where the fuck does Robert Redford get off telling us about the political, military, and socio-economic ramifications of what’s taken place over the past 5 years. And where was he 5 years ago anyway, when it mattered? Making some fucking horse movie?

C’mon, get a grip.

I saw it on the faces of the Singaporean folks as we walked out of the film. They were chuckling to each other, as if to say: ‘It’s about fucking time. But it’s not like you’re telling us something the entire world doesn’t already know. Really, cuz if you think it’s such big news, at least make it more entertaining.’

I agree. As such, I would ask that the next time Robert Redford makes a movie, remind me to bring along an ‘English to Chinese’ dictionary — at least then I’ll have something to keep me occupied.

I’ve not really voiced this publicly before, but one of the many, many reasons I decided to leave the United States in favor of traveling abroad in various less-developed, and less oil-dependent, countries is an underlying fear — call it a gut feeling — that all the pleasantries we’ve come to know and love in the Western World will disappear in less time than we are currently aware, or are prepared to accept.

Among the factors leading to this “gut feeling” is not only the unbelievable selfishness and arrogance of the general U.S. population, but also the socio-economic, religious, geopolitical and environmental issues that now dominate our world.

Now add to these problems the underlying element of “Peak Oil” — which will be manifesting itself soon, if it hasn’t already (ASPO predicts that oil production will peak this year) — and you’ve got the recipe for an utter societal breakdown.

Due initially to my prior profession as an international and maritime attorney, I’ve been aware of this issue for several years now. However, for the variety of reasons you might expect (or at least theorize), the issue has not really made a dent into the general public consciousness.

That may be changing with the release of the environmental documentary, “A Crude Awakening.” This film is fundamentally about how our entire civilization has been built on cheap oil, and how the world has been so thoroughly explored that many experts now beleive there is no new oil out there — none (much like the U.S. itself reached its own “oil peak” in the early 1970’s and has gradually come to depend more and more on foreign resources).

The result of this ever-diminishing supply of oil will have effects that, to the modern industrialized world, will make global warming itself seem like a walk in the park.

As aptly described by one commentator, if “An Inconvenient Truth” could be considered “The Wizard of Oz” of environmental documentaries, then “A Crude Awakening” must be considered the “Rosemary’s Baby” of that same genre.

I personally think the movie, and this issue, still won’t have a significant or lasting effect on the public consciousness, as there already seems to be a bit of “environmental protection” fatigue after the huge success of Al Gore and “An Inconvenient Truth.” Indeed, less than a year after Gore won an Oscar Award for that documentary, the Live Earth concerts were generally recognized worldwide as a failure, and SUV sales in the United States have already resurged.

Regardless, commercial success or failure will not take away from the fact that the oil will soon be gone. And with that, there will be ramifications to the global economy and socio-economic-political structure unseen before in the modern world. And not to sound too much like a fear-mongering apocalyptic survivalist (because God knows I’m not — I mean, really, I’m a lawyer with an internet blog for Christ’s sake), but when the gas and electricity prices spike, commodity prices soar, and things start to look a little bit like ‘Mad Max,” I want to at least have options.

And if I’m starting to sound just a bit too psycho for you right about now, take a look a this trailer for the movie, go read up more about “Peak Oil”, and read some of the history (as well as the book, Dark Age Ahead by acclaimed urban-economist, Jane Jacobs). Then, if you still think I’m a bit meshugganah … that’s okay, I get that from most women.

A Crude Awakening

After resting and taking a few laps in the pool on Monday, I woke up today by visiting some of my regular online sources for news and entertainment — at which time, I was treated to even more good news.

First and foremost, I saw that finally, FINALLY, saner heads are prevailing down at Gitmo, where on Monday, military judges dismissed charges Monday against 2 Guantanamo detainees. In particular, the courts ruled that, in direct contradiction to the ever illogical position of the Bush Administration, the detainees are “not subject to this commission” under legislation passed by Congress and signed by Bush last year. Thank fucking god. Maybe this signals the first of many steps for the U.S. government to regain whats left of its dignity.

Second, I saw that there is indeed still hope that the upcoming Transformers live action movie may indeed be worth seeing (shit, I knew there was a reason I put them at the top of my MySpace friends list). If the rest of the movie has effects like this stuff, I may even be able to cleanse my mind of the crappy-CGI cryfest that was Spiderman 3.

And finally, there seems to be hope — finally — that we can all live longer, healthier lives with this great new “skin” tightening product (if the advert itself doesn’t completely offend you).