I wasn’t going to post any more videos today in lieu of writing substantive content, but in light of my impending snowboarding trip to Lake Tahoe, I figured this clip would be appropriate. Indeed, this particular video is especially relevant given my penchant for damaging various body parts. Moreover, as can be attested to by my friends, I have been injured snowboarding in the past.
Before I left California 7 years ago, I suffered a relatively minor injury while attempting to snowboard down that insane mountain John Cusack tried to ski down in Better Off Dead (“Do you have any idea of the street value of this mountain?? It’s pure snow!!”). At the time, I was about 20 pounds heavier than I now am, which tends to make any “mis-calculated” landings all the more treacherous as the added weight exerts much more stress on the body part(s) upon which it lands.
In this particular case, I landed, as usual, on my ass) — well, my tailbone, to be precise. Although it was fairly painful, I thought nothing of the injury; mentally tacking it onto the expansive list of my various other injuries. However, after about a week or so, the swelling on my tailbone had continued to grow and was pushing against my spine and internal organs.
What had apparently happened is that my fall had caused a contusion in the skin around my tailbone. This is not typically an issue, as broken blood vessels tend to drain (and coagulate) in the surrounding skin, thus causing “black and blue” marks. However, in this case, the layers of skin themselves had separated and the blood was not draining/coagulating in the skin, but instead filling the gap between those layers, causing it the area to swell like a water balloon.
The E.R. doctor was, quite possibly, on loan from “Doctors Without Borders” to the only Hospital in the small town where I was living. Upon diagnosing the problem, he felt the need to drain the blood from my spinal area with a really, really big fucking needle. He also wanted to treat me for malaria, but that’s neither here nor there.
Apparently, the pressure from the blood caused the needle’s reservoir to fill faster than the doctor anticipated. This resulted in the doctor echoing my rock-falling sentiments. Needless to say, hearing the words “Oh Shit!” spilling from the lips of the E.R. doctor who has an extremely long needle sticking into the base of your spine is not the most comforting feeling in the world.
The doctor, apparently not being accustomed to the sight of blood, was shocked at the geyser he had made of my lower back. God, how I love small town doctors. I’m just glad the kid didn’t faint.
No harm, no foul. It was a minor, albeit fairly disgusting, episode. In retrospect, at least.
On that note, here’s the snowboarding clip. And trust us, it’s a really safe sport.
See you guys when — and if — I get back.
(via Ursi’s Blog and Yes But No But Yes)
