A Bowl of Stupid

For anyone paying attention, you may recall that several months ago, I got a Sak Yant tattoo (Khmer geometric tattoos, meant to protect the wearer, originally as protection during war/fighting times).

That first tattoo was the Yant Gao Yord (or 'Nine Spires Yanthra'), which represents the Nine Peaks Mount Meru; the sacred mountain in the centre of the Universe, with the four Continents around it.

Well, today I went to get the second in a series of Sak Yant tattoos (while I'm sill here in Bangkok). Admittedly, I did not go to Wat Bang Phra this time, instead getting the tattoo from a local Bangkok artist who trained as a monk but no longer practices. As such, I'll need to get this Yant blessed (or 'charged') by a Bhuddist preist when I return back here to Thailand in a couple months.

This time I got a Yant Paed Tidt, which is representative of the 8 directions of the Universe and has a kata to protect you in each direction in which you may travel. Mine is a variation, but it looks similar to the one shown and described at the Sak Yant Website, here.

I'll try to have a picture up in a couple days.

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I'm back home in Bangkok after a nice relaxing trip to Luang Prabang, Lao PDR. Just in time to celebrate my 30th birthday (ahem) in style — and queue the music …

'One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free You'll find a god in every golden cloister …'

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(Me, walking in off the reef in Rote with my [semi] new 7′ retro single fin)

(Me, trying to figure out how to work that goddamn single-fin in head-high surf)

As you can see, I finally posted a couple of new(ish) photos from my most recent trip to Rote, Indoneisa. These were taken by a friend of mine. Although I've got a few more I also took personally, I've kinda reached the point where I just don't like taking many pictures — I tried, but I finally reverted to my old form (never photographing anything). For any interested friends and family, I'll try to snap out of it the next time I go someplace new.

Nothing much else to report, except that yesterday, there was a coup de tat here in Bangkok, and a massive earthquake down south in Indonesia. However, you wouldn't have even known about ANY of it in my neighborhood of BKK if if wasn't all on the news. Ahh, my first coup — I feel so … 'worldly.'

And finally, I'd really like to thank to a friend of mine for her extreme (and quick) generosity — thanks to her, I had the opportunity to see Al Jarreau and George Benson in concert last nite (and meet them both afterwards). Thank you very much, it was the best live music I've seen out in Asia in quite a long, long time, and all the artists were extremely nice and magnanimous, as well.

Okay, I'm in the midst of planning out my next move — depending on the rains and flooding up in the north, I may hopefully head to Laos later this week for some relaxation and white water rafting. I'll keep eveyone apprized.

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(Yep, I'm starting to handle those perfect Indo lefts okay enuf…)

So, after 5 towns, 4 airports, 3 plane rides, 3 bemo rides, 3 taxi rides, and 1 ferry ride, I'm back from Rote and in Bangkok again. And while the surf was less than I expected it was still a very, VERY enjoyable trip.

I was in Rote for about a month, and while I did get several days (about 6-7 total) of some really great, single to triple overhead surf … I pretty much got skunked (in terms of big waves). Oh well, not much to do about that.

Regardless, like I said, I still had a really good time there … again. I'm may be starting to enjoy that area just a bit too much. I enjoy learning Indonesian, I enjoy the local peeps (just such great folks), and even when the surf is small, if there are no (like 'NONE') people out in the water, it's still a fun little wave to dick around on in between naps.

As usual, I'm also now sans the extra 2-3 kilos I tend to put on living in civilization (i.e., Bangkok, Singapore, Miami … wherever). The food is soooo good, and sooo healthy — rice and veggies and fish (all locally and naturally grown stuff, too), that it's hard NOT to get healthy there. Also, I was spending anywhere between 1.5 — 6 hours in the water and practicing yoga almost every day — damn it feels good to feel this healthy!!

And my surfing has also improved tremendously — my new(ish) single-fin retro board doesn't do much in smaller waves (I just bought a 6′8″ super-fish in Bali to handle anything less than head high waves), but in anything 1.5 overhead and bigger … man, that thing fucking FLIES!! And it's so, so, sooooo much fun.

I never really knew what was achievable on bigger waves with the right equiptment!! Now I'm starting to find out … and I LOVE it!! Even now, after getting almost 'complacent' with surfing the near-perfect conditions of Indonesia for the past year, it's like getting that 'first time surfing bug' all over again. Damn, now it just feels so good to go surfing again!!!

Anyway …. and then there's Bangkok…

After almost another month sans electricity and internet, I got back to Bali yesterday to hear word of riots and another potential coup here in Bangkok. Strange days.

As usual, the mainstream media is doing it's best to overstate the situation simply to scare the world's population. As it turns out, however, it doesn't seem to be all that bad here. From what I've seen so far, it's pretty much 'business as usual' around here, except that the entire town is kinda subdued right now. It's sort of like everyone is just staying quiet and keeping their heads down until all the political bullshit blows over.

Noneteless, it does reminds you that regardless of all the western influences it IS still Asia and they do things a bit differently over here. I head to Krabi this weekend for a friend's birthday retreat, but I'll keep everyone posted.

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Anyway, I'm back home in Bangkok.

I mentioned in a comment over at TK's place that one of the primary reasons I came back here (after getting a decent massage or 10) was to see the new Batman / Dark Knight movie.

I'm an admitted comic book/movie junkie; I think Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, and Morgan Freeman are ALL very talented actors; and of the popular comics, the Batman comic (whose protagonist has no 'super powers' beyond being a multi-billionaire) is one that is most grounded in reality. Moreover, just about everyone I've read, spoken to, etc., has said the movie was absolutely the best comic movie they've ever seen.

Sounds promising, right?

Umm … yeah, not so much. It ain't all that.

I really don't get it. I saw the movie last night on the gihugent IMAX screen over at Siam Square, and while the cinematography was grande (which may be simply be explained by the 16 meter high screen), the rest of the movie was remarkably … dull.

Yes, the acting was decent, yes, Ledger portrayed Jack Nicholson the Joker very well, yes, the special effects were what we've all come to expect from big budget Hollywood films. But holy fuck people, come ON!! At the end of the day, it's just Blue Steel!!

They're just rehashing all the same ol' shit. A little bit of Sin City here, a bit of Batman Begins there, a sprinkling of Steven King there, then add in some Beetlejuice makeup and Spider Man-esque special effects for flavour — and boom, instant blockbuster.

Much has been said about how 'dark and sinister' this film is — which sets it apart from all the other comic book adaptions. But again … c'mon, it's BATMAN. The tone of this film owes more to Frank Miller — who single-handedly reintroduced Batman as the now familiar psychologically dark character — than to the present cast and crew. Indeed, Miller's portrayal of Batman as a dark and compulsive figure has dominated most later Batman projects to at least some degree, including the 1989 Batman film.

Moreover, critics said the same thing about the story's 'new, darker version' when disecting Batman Begins ("In "Batman Begins," director Christopher Nolan gets back to a deeper, darker vision of the Caped Crusader") — simply because they both followed the campy, money-driven silliness into which the earlier Batman films had devolved.

For me, the Dark Knight wasn't 'darker' and more sinister. it was simply longer and duller — proving that no matter no much 'mood' a movie tries to shove down your throat, they're still no replacing a solid script and honest, beleivable characters.

Granted, it was an 'okay' movie, but it doesn't hold a candle (no pun intended) to any one of a plethora of darker, more comprehensive 'dark' film noir adaptations — One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, and the first Batman movie, to name just a few (and yes, there's a reason I chose all Nicholson films).

Hell, even Superman 3 had Richard Pryor in it. All I got for bad acting and funny faces in The Dark Knight was Maggie Gyllenhaal. On the bright side, at least she caught on fire, too.

Yeah, this turned more into a movie review than a simple rant. Sorry about that, from now on I'll leave that shit to the professionals — they can tell the difference between Blue Steel and Magnum (oh my, it's glorious).

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Okay, for anyone interested — here are a couple of pictures of the new Sak Yant tattoo I got yesterday.

And with respect to the question posed by Girl With Curious Hair as to sanitary issues — although TK has welcomed me to the wonderful world of tetanus … personally, I'm not all that concerned about the needle (read: spear) they used for the tattoo, I'm pretty sure the snake venom took care of anything bad.

Plus, according to the latest news, now I've got to worry about the communist rebels that killed a couple cops in the small Philippino surfing/fishing villiage that I'm leaving for in about 6 hours — so any potential blood infection may be the least of my concerns.

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So I'm feeling pretty stoked right now. I did something today that officially qualifies as being one of the coolest things I've done since moving to Thailand:

I took a trip to the most famous temple in the world for 'Yant tattooing' — Wat Bang Phra, in Nakhon Chaysri, Nakhon Pathom Province, Thailand (it's said a tattoo from this temple can protect from danger or even death — and given my track record, you can see why I went there).

For those who are unaware (myself included, to some extent):

Sak yant (Thai: สักยันต), also called yantra tattooing, is a form of sacred tattooing practiced in Southeast Asian countries, including Cambodia and Thailand. Sak yant are normally tattooed by Buddhist monks or Brahmin priests.

The Wat Bang Phra Buddhist temple, about 30 miles west of Bangkok, is one of the most highly esteemed locations for Sak Yant. Dozens of monks and master artists, who have spend years perfecting the art, can be found there. Many people — including two (2) monks I wound up giving a ride back to the Bangkok bus station — travel from far reaches of Thailand and Cambodia just to get 'inked' by the monks there.

I don't yet have a picture of the new tattoo (located on my upper shoulders, extending up the length of my neck to the base of my skull), but I'll post one as soon as I get the chance.

The experience was kinda trippy in and of itself — a local friend of mine recently got a yant tattoo from Arjan Noo, the preist here in Bangkok that received worldwide fame for giving Angelina Jolie the yant designs adorning her back. So, together with a friend who was here yesterday visiting from the States, I decided to go and get inked by this guy.

The only problem? Now that Ajarn Noo is famous, a blessed tattoo from him costs about US$1000.00 (ONE THOUSAND U.S. DOLLARS) — which translates into three surfboards, for the rest of us. Naturally, we were inclined to say 'fuck it' to that high-fallutin' shit.

Just the same, we still wanted to look at getting inked. So we wandered over to the shop on the Sukhumvit that I got my last design done, where the artist told us that we could also get Sak Yant done at the sacred Wat Bang Phra — where Noo apparently trained — for the equivilent of US$5.00 (FIVE U.S. DOLLARS).

Okay, let's review … admittedly talanted yet incredibly over-hyped 'tattoo artist to the stars' — versus — true Buddhist monks practicing a sacred craft, hand crafted traditional artistic designs, 'blessed' protective mantras on me for all time, no celebrities, no bullshit, … and oh yeah, for only Five Bucks?

That's a pretty tough call, right? Yeah, that's what I said too.

Unfortunately, my friend left last night, so she couldn't get any ink done. So I made solo arrangements for the trip to the temple instead.

Despite having been told, and reading online accounts (the Wikipedia account was particularly accurate) about the Wat, I STILL had trouble at first figuring out how the whole process works (c'mon, it IS bloody Thailand). However, I was lucky enough to run into 2 monks who spoke decent English and helped me along. The pair had travelled 250 kilometers from their temple near Cambodia for the day, just to get tattooed at the Wat.

Thanks to them, I was also lucky enough to be admitted into the group of people waiting for Hiwong Pi Nan, one of the younger masters to come up in recent years, who has developed a rather large following of disciples since his tattoos are finely detailed and absolutely beautiful.

Before entering the temple, you must buy flowers and cigarettes (about US$2.00) as an offering to Buddha. These offerings are given to the monk, and then 'recycled' for the next batch of devotees, with the money used to support the Wat. The tattoos are done in groups of about 15-20 people. When the previous group is complete, the monk blesses the next batch of offerings and the next group of people.

When tattooing, the monk dips a slender 15 inch double-pronged metal rod (think barbeque skewer) into a dark inky liquid (said to contain a combination of coloring agent, palm oil, herbs, and snake venom). He then repeatedly, rhythmically, and quickly punctures the skin. Small dots of ink and blood appear, and with repeated applications, the small dots eventually form an overall design.

For me, the precess was far more painful than the modern machine-needle tattooing (or even the bamboo needling) I've had done in the past. As such, I eventually resorted to rythemic breathing and chanting mantras to focus out the pain. It helped for a bit … until I could hear/feel the metal rod literally 'POPPING' in and out of the skin of my upper neck — at which point, I kinda lost concentration and started giggling (which I think may be a 'no-no' in a Buddhist temple, I'm not sure).

After finishing, the monk say a quick prayer and blows of the tattoo. You then go to the next temple building, where the temple's master himself also blesses the tattoo (and, in my case, he also 'topped-up' the pre-existing "OM MANI PADME HUM" Sanscrit prayer mantra I already have on my upper back).

And that was that.

Honestly, I feel incredible right now. I mean, really freakin' good!!

Usually, I come out after getting a new tat feeling kinda worn out. But for some reason, that's not the case today.

Is it the protective blessing placed on me through the new tattoo? Who knows. I don't particularly believe in any of that religious mumbo-jumbo, but there are more things in Heaven and Earth, dear Horatio, so you never know …

Or it could just be the mutherfuckin' snake venom.

Anyhoo, I'll post picks of the new ink as soon as I get a chance (hopefully before I leave for the Philippines tomorrow).

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My buddy Desho Bernard (Desho needs a hug), who produces comedic video clips for Guru Bangkok (i.e., The Bangkok Post), just made this lastest clip — about Facebook addiction.

And while I don't refer to myself in the third person (except during sex, of course), I am also one of the legion of Facebook addicts. Ahh, we laugh because it's funny, and we laugh because it's true — Desho can't go on!!

Damn, this shit is funny.

I'd like to be able to say that I contributed to at least a portion of the brainstorming that came up with this clip. But given that the concept — unlike myself — is REALLY funny … I think we all know that I had absolutely nothing to do with it. Dammit!

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(Me - jalan-jalanning in Nembralla)

Continuing with my lazy-ass attempt to reply to the few people who still actually read — or, more likely, inadvertently stumble upon — this blog, I offer the following emails, and my responses:

'Drew' wrote, asking:

"What doe the tattoo on your back mean? Where did you get it from??"

The tattoo is written in Tibetian Sanscrit, and it means "Oh Mani Padme Hum' — you can go check out this website for a more complete description/meaning (cuz frankly, as has been previously established, I'm just too lazy). I got the tattoo in a shop in South Miami Beach (I think on the corner of Washington and 7th street).

Rhonda from the blog 'Smashed Ham Sandwiches' (whatever the hell that means) wrote, in part:

Funny thing, I have a "Bowl of Stupid" on my page. Not nearly as interesting as yours. I ran across the saying on a t-shirt somewhere a few years back and it has stuck with me as one of my favorites ever since. …I have to admit I can admire a man that is so adventurous, such as yourself.

Actually, I just wrote the good part, she kinda tore me a new asshole — something about my plagerizing from T.V. shows or something… Nah, I'm kidding, Rhonda was quite nice — go check out her blog when you get the chance. And thanks Phonda, I'm sure you'll make it out of Michigan some day. If you choose to head out this way and have any questions, feel free to ask me.

And finally (for now), I got this email several weeks ago from Kevin in Australia (with my answers to his 'several' questions in bold):

How's things? I found your blog when looking for information about krui. Some good reading there. Very jealous of your travels. I've thrown in the job a couple of times myself but only made it a year a time… but then the need for stabilty kicks in and I find myself back in normal life. Anyway, I'm off to krui on Friday. Have got my flight booked to Jakarta but that's about all. Would appreciate your help with some questions if you have the time.

Did you prebook your flight to bandar lampung? No, I bought a ticket from the Merpati office in the Jakarta airport. It's about the same price as pre-booking, and you don't have to worry about missing connecting flight, etc. which airline did you go with? Merpati Airlines — unless Adam Air is back up and running, they're the only gig in town. Any recommendation for an airport hotel for the Jakarta stopover? Yeah, the airport hotel — granted, it's US$100/night, but after board storage, taxi rides, the 45-60 minutes in and back to town, the cost of hotels in town themselves, and other general shit, it's really worth the money not to deal with the hastle. You walk 30 meters from one gate to the hotel, then another 40 meters to the Merpati counter.

How much cash would you recommend changing for a week in Krui? Actually, don't recommend changing ANY cash. I would reccomend getting around 3 million rupiah from an ATM in Bandar Lampung (not including cost of transport to/back from Krui itself). figure I will head to a main town once a week to stock up on supplies and cash. Do it right afte rflight, since Bandar Lampung is the only town with a working ATM, western-style markets, etc. for 4-5 hour in any direction from Krui — so there you go.

What were your favourite breaks? Karang Nymbor ad Drew's Right. I'm a bit worried about hitting the reef… is it generally deep enough to avoid injury if one gumbies the takeoff? Dude, I can't answer that — if you're surfing a reef break, you ALWAYS need to watch out. It's not Desert Point, G-Land, or Pipe … but it's a big clumps of living rock .. and hitting that pretty much always hurts (from what I've heard - I obviously am way to skilled to ever have gotten scraped up on a reef … ahem).

Kev, I'm sorry about the late response, I was in Rote with no internet for a month, and then when I got back home to Bangkok, I had to deal with some personal stuff (including wrestling my new surfboard back from the airlines), then I had a friend visiting from out of town, and finally, I had some prior appointments with a 'relaxation therepist' that I needed to attend to.

I'm guessing you're already IN Krui area by now, so my answers my not be of any help. Sorry. But if you are there, and you happen to run in to some Scottish guy named Malcolm (he's not actually Scottish, I just like messing with him), tell him I said 'hey.' Hope you're getting some tasty waves. Cheers, mate.

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As noted a couple posts ago (while I was in Bali en route from Nusa Tenggara back home to Bangkok), I found a plethora of emails waiting for me upon my arrival to the wonderful world of indoor plumbing — some were asking how I'm doing, others were asking for travel advise, and still another was just hatin' on my blog in general.

I'll try my best to fully address each of these emails in due time. But I'll start with the last of them — which I just got from a guy (or girl … or potentially both) named 'Pat,' who wrote:

I read your blog from December 13, 2006 in which you discuss morality and responsibility. I find it ironic that your decided to discuss such issues while plagiarizing the work of others.

Your comment that related to occupying moral safe houses was taken practically word for word from the West Wing show - "No one in government takes responsibility for anything any more. We foster, we obfuscate, we rationalize. 'Everybody does it.' That's what we say. So we come to occupy a moral safe house where everyone's to blame so no one's guilty.". Granted you did take out "in government" so maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

If you decide to write a blog on the subject of hypocrisy, please let me know.

Well Pat, here it is …

Ignoring the fact that you're getting worked up about what some ex-pat surf-bum is spewing out on his BLOG, … on the INTERNET — you're absolutely right … I 'borrowed extensively' (okay, 'stole') from a West Wing transcript.

Big fucking deal.

I've no secrets here — I've admitted that I steal from the West Wing — and many other sources — on a regular basis. Fuck, if you haven't noticed, most of my post titles come from song titles. But c'mon, kid, unless you were on the writing staff, getting worked up about my failure to specifically cite back to a now-defunct television series is just silly.

And d'ya wanna see something else? I'll do it again … right now:

Quoting verbatim from the same T.V. show, Aaron Sorkin wrote that: "Good writers borrow, and great writers steal." (it bears noting this particular quote is one which Sorkin himself stole — from T.S. Elliot.)

Admittedly, you're also correct about the context of the original quote, and that by now equating myself with others who do the same thing, this quote is itself … it's, well … yeah, it's pretty hypocritical. But I think you're missing Elliot's (and Sorkin's … and my) point.

It's the sign of a good writer (or, in Elliott's opinion, a great one) to recognize that, when trying to aptly communicate your thoughts, someone else has already written what you're thinking (albeit, in my case, in another context) … far, far better than you could ever do. And I would fail to do justice to anyone reading my dribble NOT to use such rhetoric.

This is a philosophical issue, I think. Truly, is there ANYTHING we've access to — in literature, technology, or otherwise — that hasn't already been thought of, described, or built by someone else? Everything we've got, our entire culture is based on the prior accomplishments of others.

So, in this case, I forgot to cite. Again, it's just a blog — get a grip. Regardless, thanks for writing, and I hope you keep reading — I need someone to keep me on my toes.

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Gone? Gone, you say?

Not so fast, motherfuckers …

Yep. God bless the baggage handlers at Merpati Airlines and Air Asia in Jakarta and Bangkok.

Admittedly, for more than a few minutes there, I honestly thought I'd have to go back to Bali again on another shopping excursion — this time for 2 MORE new boards, plus replacement rashies, leggies, suits, and booties.

But apparently my bag is now sitting in the Bangkok airport, waiting diligently for me after being hustled back here on the same night-time flight I took back here — and only 1 day later.

Major, MAJOR props go out to the baggage handlers and customer service reps at both of those airlines — NONE of whom speak English as a first language, yet from whom I still get better service, and better results, than with other airlines I've flown with back in the U.S. (cough, cough … AMERICAN … cough).

Granted, I don't yet have my board-bag (or its contents) in my grubby little hands, but I have double independent confirmation that the bag is sitting in the Air Asia 'lost luggage' department at the Bangkok International Airport cross-town — which is a far cry better than having them languishing in the depths of another airport located in another country. Right?

It's funny. I never thought I'd be a good dad. I still don't, really. I'm just far too selfish and I don't really give a high-holy shit about anyone or anything else. But now I feel like I just went through one of those junior high 'Home-Economics' projects where you have to take care of an egg for a week in prep for parenthood.

Really, I thought I lost my eggs there for a moment. But I've got them back, god-dammit. I've got them back.

One word of advise, never let your surf gear (or your eggs, … or your kids too, I guess … whatever) out of your sight. God bless you all.

Excuse me, I think I'm gonna cry.

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(Rote, Nusa Tenggara, Indonesia)

Okay, I put up on my Flickr Account the first batch of new picture from Rote, for those of you that still give a crap (which pretty much comes down to Manny and the other random stragglers that accuse me of plagiarism … on the Internet! — don't worry I'll get to that …).

I'm leaving Bali in the next couple hours back through Jakarta, and then back to Bangkok later tonight. Home sweet home … such as it is.

I'll be there a couple of weeks before leaving for the Philippines … at this point, probably for the remainder of the summer. We'll see how it goes, right?

Finally, for everyone that wrote to me (both publicly and privately) during the last few weeks while I was away, I plan on doing a 'group response post' — addressing each of the comments, suggestions, compliments, and, in one case, an interesting 'call out' on some television script writing I 'borrowed' from (ahem) about 200 months back.

To all of you (including you, Pat), thanks for taking notice, and hopefully I'll give y'all something else good to get pissed off about soon enough. Until then, just chill out and take a look at the photos from Rote (which I ALSO stole … hahahaha!).

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A few quick notes:

First, for anyone interested, I just posted new pictures up on my Flickr page from my trip last month to Krui, Sumatra, Indonesia. Feel Free to take a look.

Second, I leave Bangkok again tonight for another month of surfing back down in Rote, Timur, Indonesia. I am, like usual, excited about the upcoming trip — especially considering the surf down there has been absolutely EXCEPTIONAL in the past couple weeks, and they expect it to continue (double overhead, 5-10 knot offshore trade winds, and simply perfect).

Unlike usual, however, I am also contemplating getting a JOB here in Bangkok when I finish my summer in the Philippines, Micronesia, and elsewhere in the Pacific.

Yeah, I said it! Whatcha gonna do?

Seriously, I like Bangkok THAT much, and I'm actually thinking about going back to work — if only to sharpen back up my intellectual skills (or what's left of them). I've spoken to a couple friends here, and there are several interesting possibilities that do NOT include the practice of law. I enjoy living in Bangkok more than any place else I've lived for a while … so it just kinda makes sense (in a strange, capitalistic kinda way).

But September is a long way off … so we'll just have to see how it unfolds.

Finally, before I go incommunicado for a few weeks, I wanted to leave you guys with this thought:

Although living in Bangkok is awesome, there will obviously always be cultural issues that plague any American or European visitors.

The non-Latin language and script is the most obvious issue. However, there are a plethora of other differences — some gross, some sublime — that also invade my everyday life here in Bangkok and make me remember that I'm an ex-pat living in an entirely foreign culture.

For example, why do Thais maintain fastidiously clean floors (clean enough to eat off of), while letting immediately adjacent walls fall into baffling levels of disrepair?

And why do Thais have such (well known) open and accepting views on sexual preferences and skimpy clothing, yet still maintain such ridged views as to public bathing, such that it's frowned upon to go swimming in bikinis or any other type of revealing bathing suit fashioned any time after the Eisenhower administration?

Yet these issues are, in large part, mere curiosities. They don't really affect my daily life, or the lives of anyone else I know. The only cultural difference that really bothers me, on a daily basis, is the ridiculous show of deference and politeness shown by Thais to foreigners ('falangs').

This gets tiring … FAST.

Consider when you go out to eat (or go out anywhere, really) back in the States — there's a general understanding that, although you're the customer, the staff generally knows more than you do about how best to service your needs in the absence of any orders to the contrary (e.g., if you don't say anything, it's safe to say that you'll get your steak back 'medium' to 'medium-rare').

In Bangkok, however, you will instead get a waitress coming over every 2 minutes asking how you want your potatoes done, how hot you like your chili sauce, how well done you want your meat … and so on, and on, and on, and on.

Similarly, I went to get a haircut the other day, but eventually gave up on the whole thing after the barber refused to cut off any more that 1-2 millimeters at a time for fear of offending me. After an hour of this, I could barely tell that I'd been to the barber at all. Regardless, I still had to leave for fear that I would lose my shit, pull a Wayne Brady, and wind up choking the bitch.

Asking directions is also a big no-no here in Bangkok. Not because nobody will tell, but instead, they will try TOO hard. Inevitably, no matter whether or not the person you ask knows where you're going, they will simply agree with any directions you may suggest, point to, or show on a map — for fear of offending you, or telling you that they can't help you.

It really is like NYC in reverse. And like I said, it gets kinda tiring after a while.

Just once … ONCE … I want to go into a restaurant or a coffee shop — or anywhere!! — and have the wait staff ignore me, and spit in my food, and generally treat me like a piece of shit like they used to do back in New York and Miami and Philly. Just once — to let me know they're alive!

Alrighty then … I needed to get that off my chest … thanks, I feel better now. I'll see you guys in June. Peace out.

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2

Not really much to write about at the present. I'm just enjoying my stay here in Bangkok before leaving again back for Rote, Indonesia in three (3) days.

I've said it before and I'll say it again — Bangkok really is a great town. But it also has a tendency to drain money from your wallet at an alarming rate (and this is coming from an ex-pat who's living here — I can only imagine how much money all the tourist 'falangs' are forking out while here on holiday).

Just today, I bought a new rice cooker, a French drip coffee pot, and new headphones for my iPod. This is in addition to the books and DVD's I bought to take with me to Rote, as well as all the movies I've been seeing (including the new 'Speed Racer' movie … which sucked on too many levels to discuss right now without suffering a cerebral hemorrhage), and the new clothes, and the yoga classes, and the coffees, and the lunches, and the dinners, and the nightclubs.

It's kinda like Miami — it's so good it's bad.

Thankfully, I had the foresight to plan ahead — like I said, I leave again in 3 days. I really need to get out of this town and back to the peace and quiet of Indonesia before I go broke … or wind up marrying a Thai hooker, whichever comes first.

Okay, I'm off to go play poker with a bunch of Swedes — dammit, there's another 1000 baht I'll never see again.

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