A Bowl of Stupid

So much to explain, yet I still don’t know exactly where to begin — at least anywhere significantly different, except geographically speaking. I suppose the easiest place to begin is with the most obvious: I’m back in America.

As noted in prior posts, I left Bangkok over two (2) months ago now, right at the beginning of all the nonsense which has since engulfed Thailand in chaos, and now threatens to spiral out of control into a full-fledged civil war. Much like I saw the housing crisis back here in the States and cashed out / moved out before the storm reached it’s full intensity, so have I done with Thailand.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I found it relatively easy when I had to mentally and physically distance myself from my home country when the time came. Likewise, I found it almost disconcertingly easy to disconnect myself from Bangkok, which I loved as much as (if not more than) any other place I’ve lived. Now I am resigned only to hope for the best — just like every other outside observer.

After Thailand, my desire was to make a life for myself in the small, tropical wonderland of American Samoa. Specifically, an opportunity arose whereby I could live and work in Samoa for a short time, on a trial basis, and see if it suited me before committing further to the island. Unfortunately, things didn’t turn out the way I had anticipated, and after that 2 month “trial period” I left the island — most likely for good.

As I’ve mentioned previously, while admittedly small, the island of Tutuila itself is absolutely gorgeous — with tropical waterfalls, ubiquitous crystal-blue waters, soaring emerald-green volcanic mountains, and many lovely people. However, I would never be able to practice law, or conduct any business there, quite frankly, simply because the American Samoan Government is one of the most corrupt, nefarious, petty, and nepotistic organizations with which I have ever come into contact (which, including Mexico, Indonesia and Thailand, is really saying something).

My plan included returning to law in a relaxed, small-town, environment, which would allow me to also continue with my surfing and other pursuits, and also start a side-gig teaching yoga. During my two (2) months on Tutuila, I explored the beauty of the island, I arranged to start teaching yoga at a local gym, I re-immersed myself back into the practice of law, and I was also fortunate enough to meet some really great people. However, all of that positivity was tempered — no, absolutely nullified — by the sheer absurdity of trying to conduct business in the shadow of malfeasance and crookedness which is the American Samoan Government.

Which is a shame, because I could have made a life for myself there. Regardless, I saw the time had come for me to move on from Samoa. And, just as I was able to distance myself from every other place I’ve lived and loved, I left — again with a disturbing lack of fuss.

That was a couple weeks ago.

And where am I now? Now I’m back in Miami Beach, actually. Back in the same building in which I was living before I left. Granted, I’m now house-sitting for an old neighbor who generously lent me his condo for a couple weeks while he’s traveling. However, needless to say, after everyone I’ve met, after everywhere I’ve gone, and everything I’ve seen, and done, and been through since I left — I’m having more than just a slight difficulty re-acclimating. Indeed, I feel like Captain Willard at the start of Apocalypse Now:

When I was there, I wanted to be here; now I’m here, and all I can think of is getting back into the jungle. I’m here for weeks now … getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker. Each time I look around, the walls move in a little tighter.

Regardless … the point of this post was to point out, and put an end to, my journey. My sojourn. My multi-year vision quest.

I intended a bookend. But now, after writing all this out, I’m not sure. That is to say, although I’m back in the country of my birth, I am still very far from feeling “home.” Moreover, as the days move forward, it’s looking less and less likely that I’ll remain here in Florida, as the opportunities I came here for were apparently nothing more than seductive phantoms.

And so it seems I’ll soon be moving on … again. Despite the fact I still don’t know where I’m going. Or where I’ll wind up.

And while I want more than anything to stop having to write this goddamn blog, and to stay in one place for more than a couple fucking months at a time, and end this seemingly endless adventure (at least for long enough to catch my breathe) — apparently I still don’t have that option. Yet.

I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. … I hope.

My intent upon initially leaving the States way back when was to engage in what I then called “The Bowl of Stupid World Tour” — a tour that started out in Singapore, made various pit-stops in Indonesia, Thailand and other bright and shiny destinations throughout Southeast Asia. From there, the tour made an unexpected stop in Boston, and would continue on through Sri Lanka and India, and eventually lead to various stops through Australia.

All of that was accomplished — and more.

The tour was also supposed to expand into and through the Pacific — to places like Guam, Palau, and Fiji. But somehow I never got there. Instead, like many people, I got trapped by the allures of Asia and, for the past 3-plus years, I wound up living in Bangkok, then Bali, and then back to Thailand — which is where I find myself today.

My intention upon returning to Bangkok was to make a life for myself here — in the past six (6) months, I’ve spent countless hours looking for work, making new friends, and networking with the Bangkok business community, all in the hopes that I would be able to find a paying job sufficient enough to allow me to stay here, perhaps indefinitely. Indeed, for all its faults and quirks and despite the fact that I constantly have to defend it to my friends back in the States who have a distorted view of the place, I love Bangkok very much. I really do. As do I love mostly all of Southeast Asia, the Buddhist way of thinking, and all the lovely people I’ve met here who have been gracious enough to let me into their lives, however briefly.

But like most things, permanence here is apparently not for me. My destination (if there is one), at this point seemingly lies elsewhere. I’ve not been able to find a decent job that would allow me to maintain even the minimalist lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed. So I’m leaving Thailand, and Asia — most likely never to return, except perhaps as a tourist.

I really don’t mean to come across as a drama queen. But my experiences here in Asia over the past several years have altered me in ways I previously thought unimaginable. As a result, the thought of leaving Asia for good is obviously a bit daunting. The world out here is truly wondrous — with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. And I am also sorry to see this, yet another stage of my life, exiled to the relative oblivion of memories.

In contrast to that melancholy, I am also optimistic, since I’m returning to the original path that has been lost to me — I’m finally heading out into the Pacific. And I’m also returning to the practice of law. And I’m also heading back to the States (in a manner of speaking).

Less than two (2) days from now, I’m moving to American Samoa, the southernmost territory of the United States, with a total land mass about the size of Washington D.C., and a total population of approximately 70,000. I go there with the promise of a paying job, decent surf, tropical island breezes, a lush island paradise and, most importantly, relative peace and tranquility.

As usual, we’ll see how it plays out …

A photo of Bin Laden from 1998 (left) was digitally altered using elements from an image of Gaspar Llamazares, a Spanish politician who has said he was shocked to find out the FBI had used his photo for a digitally-altered image showing how Osama Bin Laden might look. (click image above for full story)

Dear FBI Profilers, although I am of Middle Easern descent, please don’t “borrow” any of my Facebook and/or Flickr photos to use for a digitally-altered image showing how Osama Bin Laden might look. Thank you and good luck. xoxo

Your friend,
-Bowl

Last week, I posted a video lecture about ‘Sixth-Sense Technology’ on TED, the brainchild of a remarkable Indian inventor, Pranav Mistry. I caught shit from a bunch of people back in the States about my comments regarding the general decline in American education and innovation.

I really don’t mean to sound like I’m America-bashing. I really don’t. And I really can’t help it if people don’t like hearing the truth. Nor can I help it if I wind up sounding like a broken record (assuming anyone still knows what a ‘record’ is). But the facts are the facts. And it seems like every week, there’s another story about how some other country or part of the world is just kicking the shit out of America in the fields of economics, the sciences, and technology.

Admittedly, this time, it’s not India or China leading the charge. Rather, it’s the Swiss and French (which George Bush declared as irrelevant “Old Europe”). The NY Times/International Herald Tribune reported today, in an article entitled “Collider Sets Record, and Europe Takes U.S.’s Lead”:

Scientists said that the new Large Hadron Collider, a 17-mile loop underneath the Swiss-French border, had accelerated protons to energies of 1.2 trillion electron volts apiece and then crashed them together, eclipsing a record for collisions held by an American machine, the Tevatron, at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory in Illinois.

This moment has been inevitable since fall 1993, when Congress canceled a behemoth project in Texas known as the Superconducting Supercollider, after estimated costs rose to $11 billion. … In the future, as the collider ramps up to seven trillion electron volts, the dateline for physics discoveries will be Geneva, not Batavia, Ill., the home of Fermilab.

Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. In fact, I’m sure you paranoid idiots nice folks don’t want to waste good ammunition on lil’ ol’ me. Wouldn’t you much rather maintain your ever-increasing stocks of ammunition for President Obama’s impending socialist revolution?

P.S. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

While I obviously like to write as a means of self-expression, I’ve never professed to be a grand wordsmith. Or a poet, for that matter. My imagination just isn’t that expansive.

I have, however, always been a huge fan of poetry, and poetry readings, in general. Displays of the spoken word, however, are not all that abundant where I’ve been traveling for the past several years. And I miss them.

Admittedly, the lesser skilled readings may sometimes be tedious, but there are usually a few gems hidden that get your mind lubed up and cranking again — which is nice in light of the steady decline in general knowledge, and the growing disdain of unique self-expression and self-exploration.

HBO’s Def Poetry Jam has been a beacon. A rebirth. And, for many, an introduction to what poetry can be in the modern, urban world. Many of the poets they’ve managed to book have been simply sublime.

And while this particular poem may be somewhat dated (it originally aired on HBO on 25 April 2003, at the height of American post 9-11 paranoia, and the Bush Administration’s exploitation of same), it’s still one of my favorites. And it still holds true today. Perhaps even more so, given President Obama’s decision to “up-the-anty” in Afghanistan — sending an additional (ironically enough) 30,000 troops into that quagmire.

Fighting fire with fire doesn’t seen to be working anymore, perhaps it’s time to try something else?

Jonzi D — “3000 Casualties Of War”

Happy Thanksgiving, you fat dumb redneck nation. Good luck on trying to form coherent sentences.

Oh yeah, for anyone interested, it’s this type of idiocy that led to my decision to flee the States.

**

Although I’ve cut down on my publication of posts here over the past 6-8 months, it doesn’t mean I stopped writing entirely. To the contrary, I’ve probably been writing more, albeit more personal works not really suited for mass consumption (and subsequent regurgitation).

However, by both choice and necessity I’m settling down to (what I hope will be) a long term commitment here in Bangkok. I’m also becoming re-acclimated with the concept of living like most everyone else does — getting a job, getting an apartment, going to work, going to the gym, paying bills, hopefully one day accidentally getting shot in the head during a daring daytime robbery attempt — you know, the normal stuff.

That being said, I’ve found myself inside and on the computer much more than I have been in recent memory. Similarly, I’ve worn a suit and shoes probably more during the past 10 days than I have during the last 4 years combined. Honestly, I will always prefer sandals to closed-toe shoes, but I can’t say I don’t like the change more than just a little bit.

The whole “ex-lawyer surfer bum” thing does get old from time to time. And dressing like a grown-up again has also reminded me of just HOW MANY TIMES I’ve reinvented myself during the 5 years alone — which I sorta started writing about last month en route back to the States for 2 weeks. So I thought I’d put it up here (not that anyone’s really still reading this shit anyway).

** Yeah, the picture has absolutely nothing to do with this. I just like the idea of a polar bear taking a piss in a public bathroom.

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I’ve just started reading Sean Wilsey’s autobiography, “Oh The Glory Of It All.” From what I can tell from the first 100 pages or so, it’s not the most compelling of reads, despite the columns of many corporate shills professing otherwise. However, the way I figure it, I’m going to be spending the majority of the next two (2) days in the air (which I am now, en route from Saigon to Hong Kong), so I’ll have some free time on my hands to read.

At the outset, Wilsey goes through great pains to describe his parents and their history. What I find personally remarkable about them is how, although his parents took different paths, joined up briefly, and ultimately wound up in different places, they both seemed to have lived multiple lives. Both Wilsey’s mother and father were each married four (4) times. They each seemed to have separate families dating from different times in their lives. And they were both masters of reinvention.

It’s an issue I’m dealing with right now, actually. I’m leaving Asia, and heading back to the States, for the first time in a couple years. America is the country of my birth. It’s where I was raised. And where I was schooled. And it’s where I lived my entire life, up until just a few years ago. But going back now, it seems like a lifetime ago.

Although I’m still relatively young, I feel like I’ve already lived several lives at this point — Philly, Arizona, Alaska, Oregon, San Diego, California, Florida … geek, student, fisherman, slacker, law student, attorney, surfer, rebel. I’ve changed and altered myself almost every time I’ve moved that I can barely recognize those prior person(s). My latest, and most public, persona is what now lingers.

But I feel it turning. I have been for a while now. A new persona is needed mainly because I need money, and I need full-time work again. But, as I’ve mentioned several times over the course of the past year, it’s also because my current lifestyle is losing the appeal it once held for me. And my desire for change is metastasizing more each day. If things work out the way I hope they do, I can finally see the next reinvention — more than just the amorphous ‘need’ I’ve voiced previously.

One of the not entirely displeasing aspects of returning to where I grew up is seeing friends and relatives I haven’t seen in years, or even decades. Under normal circumstances, such visits would probably consist of nothing more than a discussion of who married whom, where whom is working, and other such general blather. However, given where I have been traveling and living for the past few years, such blather usually turns to questions of where I’ve been, where my favorite place is, what it’s like, how did I make the decision to leave my career and the States, and the like.

At times, I wish I could just gather up everyone I know in one room and take their questions all at once, so I wouldn’t have to answer the same questions over and over. At other times, I find myself enjoying the attention far too much, and falling into a self-righteous ex-pat characterture — regaling my audience with grand tales of adventure and daring and just how great things are in Asia.

Almost necessarily included in my description is just how much better things are outside the United States in terms of quality of life, inexpensive cost of living, cheap and plentiful health care, and lacking corporate overlords.

To be sure, most of the time, I’m just telling people what I want them to hear, and probably what we both wish is true. At times, it’s extremely easy to get caught up in one owns bullshit. Plus, I’m still a petty and petulant child in many respects, in that I want to prove how much better things are for me, and how much it sucks for everyone else too “weak” to have done what I did.

Those underlying issues notwithstanding, there are times when I’m reminded of just how true my comments regarding the state of affairs here in America really are. And just how bad things really have become, although most people here either can not see it, refuse to acknowledge it, or simply ignore it.

Chez just wrote a post, “Swine At The Trough”, as did Matt Tabibbi, “Goldman One-Ups Gordon Gekko, Says Jesus Embraced Greed” discussing just these issues — the absolute corporate ownership of the entire U.S. economy, its health care system (and associated benefits), and its absolute dismissal of the welfare of America’s general populous.

This is not to say that such things don’t take place in other countries. To be sure, a characteristic of the powerful has always been to hold down those without power, since the beginning of time. But this isn’t the issue.

The real issue, which is absolutely bewildering to me, is how the American public, cattle-like, have been brainwashed and stupefied to such a point that they don’t even realize how poorly they’re being treated. While at the same time, STILL giving their money and power willingly to the very people who have bewildered them into their current predicament. As Chez states, the mass of the American public is expendable. They just don’t realize it.

Once again, I haven’t lived abroad long enough to say this with absolute conviction, but I cannot see this happening in any other developed country in the world. They value their liberty far too much.

Perhaps it’s because Americans have been telling themselves that they are the best country in the world for far too long, that they can’t even begin to fathom just how far they have fallen. Perhaps I’m just a self-righteous asshole, determined to prove my way of thinking is the best. Who’s to say.

All I know is that, while the changing leaves and the brisk weather here in the Northeast are truly beautiful change of pace, I’m looking forward to returning to Asia. True, bribery and corruption may be a way of life over there as well, but at least the people there see those things for what they are, instead of desperately clinging to a perceived reality that no longer exists.

Salon published an article yesterday about President Obama’s ongoing attempts to redefine the healthcare industry back in the States. Apparently sensing a potential loss in their staggering profit margins, the healthcare providers and insurance companies back in the States ain’t gonna go quietly:

Obama may have gotten big healthcare industry players to agree to talk about reforms, but now that things are actually moving, they’re not playing along as nicely as the White House hoped they would. “Remember how [healthcare interest groups] all wanted a seat at the table?” one consultant working on the issue said. “Well, now they’re all throwing their food.”

As aptly noted in the article, the U.S. spends more money on healthcare than any nation in the world without much evidence that the quality of the care is any better.

Having lived outside the States for several years now without the ‘benefit’ of American health insurance, I’m starting to get a better grasp on just HOW true this is. And just HOW ridiculously overpriced, ineffective, and at times, simply bizarre, the healthcare industry is back in the States.

I’m had the need to ‘sample’ the medical industries in several Asian countries now, including those in purported ‘third-world’ countries — Indonesia, Philippines, Thailand, Sri Lanka, and India.

And while the range of medical procedures I’ve needed while traveling has ranged from a full-fledged operative procedure to simple medical checkups, none of those countries — NONE OF THEM — were so bound up in red tape and exaggerated costs as they are back in the States.

Indeed, even without the luxury of medical insurance for more extensive procedures and treatment (which I pray I never need), the costs for every treatment and drug I’ve needed so far cost pennies on the dollar for what the same thing would have cost back in the States.

Only after you’ve escaped the prison of the American healthcare system does it become crystal clear just how horribly that industry is raping the American public. Through years of unfettered access to Congressional representatives and Presidents, the American healthcare industry has entrenched itself in the American political and financial world so well as to possess the most coveted position of power outside the oil and banking industries.

It’s not a question of partisan politics. It’s a question of power and money. And as we will no doubt witness over the coming months and years, now that these rapists have become so entrenched, they won’t go without a fight. And they won’t go quietly.

Which is a shame, because I was thinking of returning to the States at some point.

As one would imagine, when I head out to the islands (with no electricity and no running water and such), I don’t keep up on the news as much as I might otherwise. Indeed, over the past couple years, I’ve realized that I can gather most of the news I need from the surf report.

Notwithstanding, I HAVE heard about this whole ‘global economic meltdown’ thingy that’s going on. And I heard from several sources — online, televised, written and otherwise — that there may be the stirrings of a genuine economic recovery starting back in the States.

But then I read this uplifting op-ed piece in today’s New York Times, from where the above picture was pilfered. The authors claim:

We are sympathetic to the extraordinary challenge the president faces, but if we’ve learned anything at all two years into the worst financial crisis of our lifetimes, it is that a capital-markets system this dependent on public confidence is a shockingly inadequate foundation upon which to rest our economy.

On the bright side, although one of the authors, Mr. Sandy Lewis, was convicted on federal charges of stock manipulation in 1989, he was pardoned by President Bill Clinton in 2001 and had his lifetime trading ban overturned by the Securities and Exchange Commission in 2006. As such, he can obviously lend his talents towards fixing the current situation.

Umm … perhaps ‘fixing’ wasn’t the bast choice of wording.

Regardless, I’m sure Prez Obama will think ‘outside the box’ to sort this whole mess out. Oh yeah, although he promised to change the whole paradigm in Washington, he IS still just a politician — and a Democrat, at that. Which explains why he ‘handed over his economic policy to worn-out Wall Street gorgons like Larry Summers and Bob Rubin.’

Oh, okay. Well then, there must still be a whole bunch of other people who can still straighten this mess out from the outside-in, right?

I mean, consider Goldman Sachs’ new adviser, Arthur Levitt Jr., the former chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission. He’s gonna be helpful.

Oh wait, what’s that you say? Levitt helped convince Bill Clinton to make two of the most important bad decisions that led to this financial crisis. So now he’s still around helping to liaise between Goldman Sachs and the government.

Oh … okay. Yeah, I see your point — we’re all still pretty fucked. Okay then, I’m going back to the islands and stick to reading the surf reports.

BREAKING NEWS

AP – Crew retakes US ship from Somali pirates

“NAIROBI, Kenya – In a riveting high-seas drama, an unarmed American crew wrested control of their U.S.-flagged cargo ship from Somali pirates Wednesday and sent them fleeing to a lifeboat with the captain as hostage.

A sailor who spoke to The Associated Press said the entire 20-member crew had been taken hostage but managed to seize one pirate and then successfully negotiated their own release.”

Pirates? You got a problem with pirates, you say?

You want to know how to deal with pirates? Here’s how — they pull a rifle, you pull a RPG laucher. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue.

That’s the Chicago way, and that’s how you get a pirate, muthafucka!!