A Bowl of Stupid

(Via Failblog.org)

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Taking a brief moment from responding to the emails I received while I was out "gone surfin" last month, I wanted to address a problem that's arisen in conjunction with my maintaining this blog — essentially this:

One of the main reasons I continued this blog once I started traveling was to provide some 'on the ground' guidance to others who may also be interested in the future in taking the same, or similar, trips as I have. I know I could have benefited from some of the information I've posted up on this site, and I wanted to 'pay it forward' … such as it is.

Truly, I've been able to live out the initial dream I had when I left the States, the dream of surfing waves that look EXACTLY like (or even better) than the break shown in the header of this blog — it is a gift for which I am eternally grateful.

However, I've also bitched — also on the blog (and elsewhere) — about the sheer number of 'surf-tourists' I've had to contend with in previously little known surf spots throughout Southeast Asia. Indeed, as has been pointed out, I myself am one of them — albeit in attendance at such spots for longer periods of time than some others (in all honesty, one of the biggest problems we 'surf-tourists' face are uber-rich surfers — mostly from America — who can afford to take 2-3 weeks out and pay thousands and thousands of U.S. dollars to charter boats, or stay in luxiurious resorts, or even buy property to use for 3 weeks a year. All this while we, the reletively 'under-funded' stay for months on end in modest surroundings, simply trying to find some good uncrowded surf-breaks.

It's a bit of a connundrum — how to repay the locals and others who helped me to obtain the gift of riding such great waves, while also not making all these great breaks super-crowded and not being a complete dickhead by 'hiding' such breaks for fear they too will be ruined next surf season for the uber-rich (or even the not so uber-rich).

It's for that reason that I've decided to do what I never thought I'd do (and never wanted to do) — I'm going to start censoring the information I write on this blog. Oh, don't worry, I'll write privately whatever notes I feel I need to remind myself about various breaks and spots I visit. But I'll no longer be making them public.

Sorry guys, but I'm done giving out this type of information when all it does is make the breaks more crowded for me (and the small number of other guys who choose to 'explore'). Yeah, I'll probably write a bit about the Philippines, since I already wrote about them last year. But once I head out into the Pacific — you're on you're own.

I know it sounds like a really dickhead move (and it probably is), but from now on, go find your own break … keep it off my wave.

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After resting and taking a few laps in the pool on Monday, I woke up today by visiting some of my regular online sources for news and entertainment — at which time, I was treated to even more good news.

First and foremost, I saw that finally, FINALLY, saner heads are prevailing down at Gitmo, where on Monday, military judges dismissed charges Monday against 2 Guantanamo detainees. In particular, the courts ruled that, in direct contradiction to the ever illogical position of the Bush Administration, the detainees are "not subject to this commission" under legislation passed by Congress and signed by Bush last year. Thank fucking god. Maybe this signals the first of many steps for the U.S. government to regain whats left of its dignity.

Second, I saw that there is indeed still hope that the upcoming Transformers live action movie may indeed be worth seeing (shit, I knew there was a reason I put them at the top of my MySpace friends list). If the rest of the movie has effects like this stuff, I may even be able to cleanse my mind of the crappy-CGI cryfest that was Spiderman 3.

And finally, there seems to be hope — finally — that we can all live longer, healthier lives with this great new "skin" tightening product (if the advert itself doesn't completely offend you).

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To prove the point of my immediately preceding post, as if by some crazy interweb magic, I just found this article from Advertising Age (online, of course), entitled "Most Painfully Clueless Press Release of the Week - 700 Views Does Not a YouTube Hit Make."

Apparently, the article's author received a really stupid and pointless press release heralding the latest and greatest "Video Gone Viral" YouTube sensation. The only problem? This supposedly hot viral video has only been viewed on YouTube 700 — 700!!! — times.

Notwithstanding the mountainous dribble now permeating every crevasse of the interwebs, this particular press release is truly flabbergasting considering you can get more visibility by posting a video of your cat on YouTube. In fact, Nora the Piano Playing Cat currently has 1,959,260 more views than this supposed viral video.

I don't get it, really. Some shlub with a phony G.E.D. is getting paid money to write press releases about a "viral video" that has garnered less attention that a random drug test. Meanwhile, I can't seem to convince anyone outside the legal field into giving me a paying job. Christ, I can come up with better SEM and advertising ideas than that, and I've done nothing but write legal briefs for the past 10 years.

Okay, here's one for you; just show these knuckle-dragging nimrods a cat, any kind of cat — big, small, fluffy, shaved, wet, dry, awake, sleeping — what-the-fuck-ever. As noted above, it doesn't matter.

And if you don't like cats, go ahead and use a dog instead. Once again, it's the fucking internet — it just doesn't matter. For the love of god, Disney is producing a live-action "Underdog" movie this year. Trust me, use the same concept on the internet and you'll make a damn fortune with that masterpiece.

You can use that idea. Go ahead and take it. Go ahead — call it a freebie.

Yeah, I know, the world's not a fair place, and stupidity abounds. Whatever. Just know this — if you keep up with that attitude, I'm gonna have to change the name of this site from "A Bowl of Stupid" to "A Bowl of Shut The Fuck Up."

Bitter? Me? Naaaah.

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In our continuing quest to bring you the best in international advertising clips, we present the following (NSFW):

Well, that sure would explain reggaeton music.

(Via Can't Coach That)

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The original Honda "Cog" Commercial took 605 takes over a three (3) month period before they were able to get it right. These geniuses show how Honda could have done it much more cheaply.

(via Neatorama and Yes But No But Yes)

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