A Bowl of Stupid

The Beverly Hillbillies – The Next Generation

Now I know what my Halloween Costume is gonna be. I’m just wondering if anyone OUTSIDE Texas and Missouri would find it more entertaining than disturbing.

P.S. I’m actually celebrating Halloween the ‘Old Fashioned Way’ — I’m back in Railay, enjoying some great tropical weather, some good climbing, and a cocktail on the beach. God, I love this place.

P.P.S. Hey Dee, everyone here is STILL asking about you. What the fuck, did you buy all the people here new cars or something?

I know the tone of my blog of late has been less than optimistic, to say the least.

Rather, when I’ve posted at all, those posts have reflected the high anxiety of the world financial markets, the vitriolic advancing of the U.S. Presidential election, and my own general frustration about my continuing inability to find my place in the world.

As my friend here has told me, tho — get the fuck over it. There’s nothing much you can do about those things. But I am living in tropical paradise (of sorts) with immediate access to some of the best surfing in the world. I’ve enough money left to live like like royalty here for the next year, at least — so suck it the fuck up.

There is little reason for my high anxiety right now, expecially considering my current locale and my daily routine of surfing and eating cheap Indonesia food.

Ironically, I feel that much of this is tied to the fact that, for the first time in several years, I have cable television and internet at my home — incuding access to international news networks. I have, until now, been fairly segregated from the nightmares being broadcast 24 hours a day on these chanels.

I can’t help but feel that my immediate access to these outlets hs at least SOMETHING to do with my growing unease and anxiety. I really think I ned to lose the television again, and by implication, admit that my parents were right: “Television rots your mind” — especially during a U.S. Presidential race.

And that doesn’t even include all the political ads we don’t have to put up with here overseas. I can only imagine how miserable the people living back in the States must feel — being constantly innumdated with bad financial news and bitter campaign politics.

Yep, I’ve got it pretty fucking good over here.

I find myself sitting in yet another of a long line of coffee shops offering free wireless internet in a successful bid to make me pay an outrageous amount of money for a simple cup o’ joe. Only I’m not in Miami, or Singapore, or Boston, or even Bangkok — I’m in Bali (Seminyak, to be preceise).

While I generally try to avoid the pricier resteraunts and cafes, I’ve grown accustomed to dealing with such Western-inspired capitalistic touches over the past couple years in order to maintain at least a minor level of connectivity with the rest of the Western world.

I usually come out of these cafes carrying a slight yoke of guilt hanging from my subconcious, considering I’ve just spent more for a cup of coffee than a local person makes in a week. And lately, at the same time, I’ve also managed to gain a slight twinge of self-pity because I’ve lost so much money over the past month or so (due to the current financial crisis).

It’s an interesting perspective I’ve somehow manage to maintain despite my obvious good forture. Indeed, due to some decent investments and the assistance of my family back in the States, I’ve managed to maintain a life abroad without the need for employment going on 3 years now.

While I once thought I would be able to continue in this way for another 2-3 years, it seems the end may be in sight.

However, this unwelcome clarity of vision is not what, or how, I envisioned my time living abroad would devolve into. Rather, I thought I would be able to live as I’ve been doing for at least 4-5 years, and eventually go back to the States with a renewed sense of eergy and optimism — looking forward to a triumphant return to the workforce — on my own terms.

But I don’t feel like that … at least not right now. Instead I feel like I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me just as I was starting to get my balance back.

I feel cheated.

Yes, there are millions upon millions who are in much worse shape than I am. Yes, there are a large number of people who have lost most, if not all of their life (and retirement) savings. Yes, there are people here in Asia who have lost their jobs and homes and now worry about about where they and their families will get their next meal.

Yes, everyone is getting hit hard right now. But that does not change the underlying sefish human emotion of: “Yeah, that’s them –this is ME!”

I know there are far, FAR more bitter pills to swallow, but this one is particually difficult for me right now. I’ve already tightened my belt. I’ve already prepared for an uncertain future. I’m living in Southeast Asia where my biggest daily expense — rent and transportation included — is a cup of coffee. And it STILL doesn’t seem to be quite enough.

I know I join a chorus of millions, perhaps BILLIONS, when I say: “I just don’t know what else to do to protect myself in the midst of this mess, except to hope that it ends soon.”

Everyday Normal Guy — Jon Lajoie

Ahh, we laugh because it’s funny, and we laugh because it’s true (sorta … ish).

Nuff said.

So, needless to say, I’ve run into several snags during the past week in the midst of my move to Bali.

• I left my Bankcard in an ATM and it was gone when I checked back 2 minutes later.
• I got stopped by the cops for allegedly speeding — while other Balanese were passing me on both sides.
• I had to pay a taxi driver 5 times what we orginally agreed or he threatened to drop me in middle of nowhere late at night coming from airport.

Of course, these have been nothing more than mere inconveniences, but they still have made this move particularly irksome.

First, although I’ve been in Indonesia — on and off — for most of the past year, I must remember that this area of Indo (and Bali, in particular) is NOT the ‘First World’ … or even Thailand or Rote.

I lived in Bangkok and Singapore for the better part of 2 years and I NEVER got harrassed by the Police. Never!

Indeed, the Police in Thailand and Singapore were more of a help than a hinderance (as they should be). But I have been hassled here in Bali twice so far in the past 10 days, essentially for being a foreigner from whom they can extort money.

The same goes for the locals here. I have been ‘worked’ and otherwise taken advantage of by a number of them in the past 10 days simply because I needed help and they knew I had no other options. And this is supposedly a Hindu island that believes heavily in ‘karma’. If so, that explains why many of them are still stuck in a shitty life.

However, during my entire time in Bangkok (which is heavily Buddhist), I was NEVER ‘worked’ to the extent I have been here lately — by taxi drivers, merchants, cops, my landlord … everyone! Yes, some say that ‘bargaining’ is part of their culture here. Possibly, but the utter greed and disrespect and anger I’ve encountered lately I’ve NEVER witnessed in other areas of Indonesia I’ve visited (except maybe in southern Sumatra). Like my friend Sean here said, the peple here look like someone just pissed on their face.

I know that I have to deal with the change of environment … which will come in time. But for now, I miss Bangkok (and Rote, Indonesia) terribly. I miss the smiling faces and the sincere desire to help, with or without the promise of money. I miss the gentleness and desire to avoid conflict (I think they actively SEEK conflict here).

Perhaps my initial assessment of Bali was right … it’s a shithole. Perhaps I’m just overreacting to a few bad eggs and I need to give it some more time — which I will. I also plan on exploring the rest of this island — which I’ve heard is MUCH different than this area.

But for now, I just feel like ranting. So I will.

CNN is reporting that, over the past several years, the U.S. government has been spying on Americans’ intimate conversations abroad. In particular, the report states:

A terrorist surveillance program instituted by the Bush administration allows the intelligence community to monitor phone calls between the United States and overseas without a court order — as long as one party to the call is a terror suspect.

Adrienne Kinne, a former U.S. Army Reserves Arab linguist, told ABC News the NSA was listening to the phone calls of U.S. military officers, journalists and aid workers overseas who were talking about “personal, private things with Americans who are not in any way, shape or form associated with anything to do with terrorism.”

David Murfee Faulk, a former U.S. Navy Arab linguist, said in the news report that he and his colleagues were listening to the conversations of military officers in Iraq who were talking with their spouses or girlfriends in the United States.

According to Faulk, they would often share the contents of some of the more salacious calls stored on their computers, listening to what he called “phone sex” and “pillow talk.”

So lemme get this straight … on the one hand, we’ve sacrficed our civil liberties so the ‘god fearing’ folks in the Bush Administration could moniter our personal calls, emails, etc.; while on the other hand, a whole other set of civil liberties have been lost because those same nutjobs, in the name of everything holy, work to ban ‘pornographic’ material on U.S. goverment installations.

As a result, governmental personnel have now resorted to listening in on ‘phone sex’ calls smply to get their daily recommended allowance of porn. Umm … does that pretty much sum it up?

Does anyone else see the irony here, or am I taking crazy pills again?

The latest news:

Stocks plunged Thursday, sending the Dow Jones industrial average down 679 points — more than 7 percent — to its lowest level in five years.

In light of this latest revelation, I’m dedicating this one to all our friends with a stake in the U.S. and world stock markets:

C’mon, sing along, I KNOW you know the words … (cuz I’m free, free falling…)

Today, Bloomberg.com reports that U.S. Stocks Drop as Recession Concern Outweighs Rate Reductions

Oct. 8 (Bloomberg) — U.S. stocks fell for a sixth day after Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said more banks may collapse and unprecedented global interest-rate cuts failed to convince investors the economy will avoid a recession.

And Yahoo Finance further reports today that:

“The world economy is now entering a major downturn in the face of the most dangerous shock in mature financial markets since the 1930s,” the Internatinal Monetary Fund [IMF] said in its World Economic Outlook.

Like Jon Stewart said, it’s starting to look like Lord of the Flies down here. We’re all on a rudderless ship, folks … the pilot has ejected, the plane is on fire, and we’re all still on the plane … it’s Lord of The Flies down here!!!

Sorry, I’ve no pithy commentary for this one. I kinda saw this coming, but I honestly didn’t think it would get THIS bad. Crap.

So it’s been a hectic several days since I last posted anything. I’ve essentially prepared myself for again moving (such as it is) from one Asian country to another. This time, it’s back to Indonesia — possibly fo a couple years.

Given how much I despised Bali when I first visited (the Kuta area especially), I find it fairly ironic to find myself now looking for a home just a few kilometers from that same area. But, honestly, it just makes sense. I’ve been spending most of my time in Indonesia anyway, I’ve been particularly keen on practicing my Bahasa Indonesian, and with the U.S. Dollar trading so poorly in the rest of Southeast Asia (but not here), it just seems the right thing to do (although admittedly I may need to maintain a presence in Bangkok for a couple more months).

That’s not to say that the whole ‘moving’ thing has not been a little bit stressful, despite the fact that most of my worldly belongings can fit onto a small hand trolley. Moving is always stressful, no matter what the circumstances — you’re relocating your entire existance. However, I will say that the move has been eased greatly through the generosity and assistance of my friend Sean here on Bali, without which I would still be a bit lost. Thanks mate!

Indeed, I’ve a whole bunch more to write about the moving experience itself, as well as the Seminyak area on Bali to where I’m moving. However, continuing on that ‘thankful’ theme, Sean’s help got me thinking about — and prompting me to thank everyone else who helped me on this current sojern (Oscar, Mike[s], Dario, Jonny, Rohit, Mina, Jill, Desho …. thank you guys so much, please don’t ever think your generosity and kindness were wasted on me).

That’s probably the worst part about moving again. Although I may one day wind up back in Bangkok or Miami or wherever, I miss my friends. And while, as I said, my friends here in Bali — both new and old — have already lent their hands in making this place seem like a home for me, no one set of friends has ever been able to replace another, and vice versa.

So in the end, I miss them all. But fuck it, I’m here now. I’m happy as hell to be here. And quite honestly, I’m not sure I’d have it any other way.