A Bowl of Stupid

My buddy Desho Bernard (Desho needs a hug), who produces comedic video clips for Guru Bangkok (i.e., The Bangkok Post), just made this lastest clip — about Facebook addiction.

And while I don't refer to myself in the third person (except during sex, of course), I am also one of the legion of Facebook addicts. Ahh, we laugh because it's funny, and we laugh because it's true — Desho can't go on!!

Damn, this shit is funny.

I'd like to be able to say that I contributed to at least a portion of the brainstorming that came up with this clip. But given that the concept — unlike myself — is REALLY funny … I think we all know that I had absolutely nothing to do with it. Dammit!

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To the entire Lawler clan — all my thoughts and prayers to you all. I'm truly sorry fo your loss. Here's a dedication of sort — I apologize if this is one of the 'goofy' Beach Boys songs your mom liked.

The Beach Boys — Wouldn't It Be Nice

Namaste.

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For obvious reasons (i.e., the entire election process is about as interesting — and just a likely to make me vomit — as naked pictures of Amy Winehouse), I haven't been paying much (read: any) attenton to the American Presidential race for the past 2 years.

From what I've seen tho, apparently there's finally a black guy running this time — which is pretty cool, I guess.

Anyhoo, thanks to Chez ove at Deus Ex Malcontent, I've become much more informed about the entire process. Thanks kid … I think.

I thought this YouTube clip (which Chez also wrote about on his site) was both hysterical AND informative. It's about an apparent (ahem) 'rift' between John McCain and his wife:

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(Photo of sunken passenger ferry in the Philippines, photo courtesy AP)

First thing this morning, I finally got around to booking my tickets back to the Philippines, where I'll be spending the next couple of months — I leave here in about 10 days.

Then, just as I finished doing that, I read about how the Philippines just got slammed by yet another tropical typhoon — Typhoon Fengshen. According to latest media reports, it doesn't look good:

More than 700 people were missing and many feared dead from a ferry that capsized and sank as Typhoon Fengshen continued to batter the Philippines, hampering rescue efforts.

Elsewhere, 82 people may be dead from flashfloods and landslides caused by the typhoon, although only eight were confirmed, according to National Disaster Coordinating Council Executive Director Anthony Golez. More than 366,000 were affected by the storms and of them, 70,717 had been evacuated, according to an earlier report from the council.

I'm hoping to find out some more from friends on the ground there. Hopefully, they're all okay. And I send all my best wishes to those who lost loved ones, and I hope this is as bad as it gets.

Fuck.

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Taking a brief moment from responding to the emails I received while I was out "gone surfin" last month, I wanted to address a problem that's arisen in conjunction with my maintaining this blog — essentially this:

One of the main reasons I continued this blog once I started traveling was to provide some 'on the ground' guidance to others who may also be interested in the future in taking the same, or similar, trips as I have. I know I could have benefited from some of the information I've posted up on this site, and I wanted to 'pay it forward' … such as it is.

Truly, I've been able to live out the initial dream I had when I left the States, the dream of surfing waves that look EXACTLY like (or even better) than the break shown in the header of this blog — it is a gift for which I am eternally grateful.

However, I've also bitched — also on the blog (and elsewhere) — about the sheer number of 'surf-tourists' I've had to contend with in previously little known surf spots throughout Southeast Asia. Indeed, as has been pointed out, I myself am one of them — albeit in attendance at such spots for longer periods of time than some others (in all honesty, one of the biggest problems we 'surf-tourists' face are uber-rich surfers — mostly from America — who can afford to take 2-3 weeks out and pay thousands and thousands of U.S. dollars to charter boats, or stay in luxiurious resorts, or even buy property to use for 3 weeks a year. All this while we, the reletively 'under-funded' stay for months on end in modest surroundings, simply trying to find some good uncrowded surf-breaks.

It's a bit of a connundrum — how to repay the locals and others who helped me to obtain the gift of riding such great waves, while also not making all these great breaks super-crowded and not being a complete dickhead by 'hiding' such breaks for fear they too will be ruined next surf season for the uber-rich (or even the not so uber-rich).

It's for that reason that I've decided to do what I never thought I'd do (and never wanted to do) — I'm going to start censoring the information I write on this blog. Oh, don't worry, I'll write privately whatever notes I feel I need to remind myself about various breaks and spots I visit. But I'll no longer be making them public.

Sorry guys, but I'm done giving out this type of information when all it does is make the breaks more crowded for me (and the small number of other guys who choose to 'explore'). Yeah, I'll probably write a bit about the Philippines, since I already wrote about them last year. But once I head out into the Pacific — you're on you're own.

I know it sounds like a really dickhead move (and it probably is), but from now on, go find your own break … keep it off my wave.

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(Me - jalan-jalanning in Nembralla)

Continuing with my lazy-ass attempt to reply to the few people who still actually read — or, more likely, inadvertently stumble upon — this blog, I offer the following emails, and my responses:

'Drew' wrote, asking:

"What doe the tattoo on your back mean? Where did you get it from??"

The tattoo is written in Tibetian Sanscrit, and it means "Oh Mani Padme Hum' — you can go check out this website for a more complete description/meaning (cuz frankly, as has been previously established, I'm just too lazy). I got the tattoo in a shop in South Miami Beach (I think on the corner of Washington and 7th street).

Rhonda from the blog 'Smashed Ham Sandwiches' (whatever the hell that means) wrote, in part:

Funny thing, I have a "Bowl of Stupid" on my page. Not nearly as interesting as yours. I ran across the saying on a t-shirt somewhere a few years back and it has stuck with me as one of my favorites ever since. …I have to admit I can admire a man that is so adventurous, such as yourself.

Actually, I just wrote the good part, she kinda tore me a new asshole — something about my plagerizing from T.V. shows or something… Nah, I'm kidding, Rhonda was quite nice — go check out her blog when you get the chance. And thanks Phonda, I'm sure you'll make it out of Michigan some day. If you choose to head out this way and have any questions, feel free to ask me.

And finally (for now), I got this email several weeks ago from Kevin in Australia (with my answers to his 'several' questions in bold):

How's things? I found your blog when looking for information about krui. Some good reading there. Very jealous of your travels. I've thrown in the job a couple of times myself but only made it a year a time… but then the need for stabilty kicks in and I find myself back in normal life. Anyway, I'm off to krui on Friday. Have got my flight booked to Jakarta but that's about all. Would appreciate your help with some questions if you have the time.

Did you prebook your flight to bandar lampung? No, I bought a ticket from the Merpati office in the Jakarta airport. It's about the same price as pre-booking, and you don't have to worry about missing connecting flight, etc. which airline did you go with? Merpati Airlines — unless Adam Air is back up and running, they're the only gig in town. Any recommendation for an airport hotel for the Jakarta stopover? Yeah, the airport hotel — granted, it's US$100/night, but after board storage, taxi rides, the 45-60 minutes in and back to town, the cost of hotels in town themselves, and other general shit, it's really worth the money not to deal with the hastle. You walk 30 meters from one gate to the hotel, then another 40 meters to the Merpati counter.

How much cash would you recommend changing for a week in Krui? Actually, don't recommend changing ANY cash. I would reccomend getting around 3 million rupiah from an ATM in Bandar Lampung (not including cost of transport to/back from Krui itself). figure I will head to a main town once a week to stock up on supplies and cash. Do it right afte rflight, since Bandar Lampung is the only town with a working ATM, western-style markets, etc. for 4-5 hour in any direction from Krui — so there you go.

What were your favourite breaks? Karang Nymbor ad Drew's Right. I'm a bit worried about hitting the reef… is it generally deep enough to avoid injury if one gumbies the takeoff? Dude, I can't answer that — if you're surfing a reef break, you ALWAYS need to watch out. It's not Desert Point, G-Land, or Pipe … but it's a big clumps of living rock .. and hitting that pretty much always hurts (from what I've heard - I obviously am way to skilled to ever have gotten scraped up on a reef … ahem).

Kev, I'm sorry about the late response, I was in Rote with no internet for a month, and then when I got back home to Bangkok, I had to deal with some personal stuff (including wrestling my new surfboard back from the airlines), then I had a friend visiting from out of town, and finally, I had some prior appointments with a 'relaxation therepist' that I needed to attend to.

I'm guessing you're already IN Krui area by now, so my answers my not be of any help. Sorry. But if you are there, and you happen to run in to some Scottish guy named Malcolm (he's not actually Scottish, I just like messing with him), tell him I said 'hey.' Hope you're getting some tasty waves. Cheers, mate.

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As noted a couple posts ago (while I was in Bali en route from Nusa Tenggara back home to Bangkok), I found a plethora of emails waiting for me upon my arrival to the wonderful world of indoor plumbing — some were asking how I'm doing, others were asking for travel advise, and still another was just hatin' on my blog in general.

I'll try my best to fully address each of these emails in due time. But I'll start with the last of them — which I just got from a guy (or girl … or potentially both) named 'Pat,' who wrote:

I read your blog from December 13, 2006 in which you discuss morality and responsibility. I find it ironic that your decided to discuss such issues while plagiarizing the work of others.

Your comment that related to occupying moral safe houses was taken practically word for word from the West Wing show - "No one in government takes responsibility for anything any more. We foster, we obfuscate, we rationalize. 'Everybody does it.' That's what we say. So we come to occupy a moral safe house where everyone's to blame so no one's guilty.". Granted you did take out "in government" so maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

If you decide to write a blog on the subject of hypocrisy, please let me know.

Well Pat, here it is …

Ignoring the fact that you're getting worked up about what some ex-pat surf-bum is spewing out on his BLOG, … on the INTERNET — you're absolutely right … I 'borrowed extensively' (okay, 'stole') from a West Wing transcript.

Big fucking deal.

I've no secrets here — I've admitted that I steal from the West Wing — and many other sources — on a regular basis. Fuck, if you haven't noticed, most of my post titles come from song titles. But c'mon, kid, unless you were on the writing staff, getting worked up about my failure to specifically cite back to a now-defunct television series is just silly.

And d'ya wanna see something else? I'll do it again … right now:

Quoting verbatim from the same T.V. show, Aaron Sorkin wrote that: "Good writers borrow, and great writers steal." (it bears noting this particular quote is one which Sorkin himself stole — from T.S. Elliot.)

Admittedly, you're also correct about the context of the original quote, and that by now equating myself with others who do the same thing, this quote is itself … it's, well … yeah, it's pretty hypocritical. But I think you're missing Elliot's (and Sorkin's … and my) point.

It's the sign of a good writer (or, in Elliott's opinion, a great one) to recognize that, when trying to aptly communicate your thoughts, someone else has already written what you're thinking (albeit, in my case, in another context) … far, far better than you could ever do. And I would fail to do justice to anyone reading my dribble NOT to use such rhetoric.

This is a philosophical issue, I think. Truly, is there ANYTHING we've access to — in literature, technology, or otherwise — that hasn't already been thought of, described, or built by someone else? Everything we've got, our entire culture is based on the prior accomplishments of others.

So, in this case, I forgot to cite. Again, it's just a blog — get a grip. Regardless, thanks for writing, and I hope you keep reading — I need someone to keep me on my toes.

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Gone? Gone, you say?

Not so fast, motherfuckers …

Yep. God bless the baggage handlers at Merpati Airlines and Air Asia in Jakarta and Bangkok.

Admittedly, for more than a few minutes there, I honestly thought I'd have to go back to Bali again on another shopping excursion — this time for 2 MORE new boards, plus replacement rashies, leggies, suits, and booties.

But apparently my bag is now sitting in the Bangkok airport, waiting diligently for me after being hustled back here on the same night-time flight I took back here — and only 1 day later.

Major, MAJOR props go out to the baggage handlers and customer service reps at both of those airlines — NONE of whom speak English as a first language, yet from whom I still get better service, and better results, than with other airlines I've flown with back in the U.S. (cough, cough … AMERICAN … cough).

Granted, I don't yet have my board-bag (or its contents) in my grubby little hands, but I have double independent confirmation that the bag is sitting in the Air Asia 'lost luggage' department at the Bangkok International Airport cross-town — which is a far cry better than having them languishing in the depths of another airport located in another country. Right?

It's funny. I never thought I'd be a good dad. I still don't, really. I'm just far too selfish and I don't really give a high-holy shit about anyone or anything else. But now I feel like I just went through one of those junior high 'Home-Economics' projects where you have to take care of an egg for a week in prep for parenthood.

Really, I thought I lost my eggs there for a moment. But I've got them back, god-dammit. I've got them back.

One word of advise, never let your surf gear (or your eggs, … or your kids too, I guess … whatever) out of your sight. God bless you all.

Excuse me, I think I'm gonna cry.

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Today — no pictures, no anecdotes, no nuthin'…

And you wanna know why? Cuz my surfboards (yes, that includes the BRAND NEW, NEVER BEEN FUCKIN' WAXED, SEVEN FOOT PERFECTION BOARD I JUST BOUGHT!) are now, as we speak, traversing the underbelly of the Jakarta lost luggage department.

They're either there or they've already been sold for a new house in suburban Jakarta.

Either way, I'm not a happy camper right now.

But fuck it, it's only money, right?

RIGHT?!?!

Sigh …

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(Rote, Nusa Tenggara, Indonesia)

Okay, I put up on my Flickr Account the first batch of new picture from Rote, for those of you that still give a crap (which pretty much comes down to Manny and the other random stragglers that accuse me of plagiarism … on the Internet! — don't worry I'll get to that …).

I'm leaving Bali in the next couple hours back through Jakarta, and then back to Bangkok later tonight. Home sweet home … such as it is.

I'll be there a couple of weeks before leaving for the Philippines … at this point, probably for the remainder of the summer. We'll see how it goes, right?

Finally, for everyone that wrote to me (both publicly and privately) during the last few weeks while I was away, I plan on doing a 'group response post' — addressing each of the comments, suggestions, compliments, and, in one case, an interesting 'call out' on some television script writing I 'borrowed' from (ahem) about 200 months back.

To all of you (including you, Pat), thanks for taking notice, and hopefully I'll give y'all something else good to get pissed off about soon enough. Until then, just chill out and take a look at the photos from Rote (which I ALSO stole … hahahaha!).

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Well, despite appearances (and some good shots from Mother Nature), I'm still alive — again.

And despite getting skunked for most of the 3 weeks I was in Rote, I still got some decent surf there (there were a FEW days the surf bumped up to 1-2 overhead). It was a bit more crowded this year than last, and I fear it is the beginning of the end for the place. But I'll write more about that later.

I'm now back in Bali (God help me). I chose to stop here for 1-2 days en route back to Bangkok — I need to stock up on surf supplies, including a new board (or 2, if things go well). As has been well documented here, I had problems moving down to the 6′8″ Tuf-Lite epoxy board I bought before I left the States for good (not only is it kinda short and built wrong for my style of surfing, the epoxy gives it too much flotation, and loss of control, in bigger waves).

So instead, I just bought something almost exactly like this beautiful Gerry Lopez retro, Pipeline, single-fin classic:

Holy shit, I think I'm in love.

It's a 7′0′ single-fin, double glassed, single concave, big wave classic. Fucking "A" man!!!

I can't wait to get to the Philippines in a few weeks to try it out for real. It's gonna take some more effort to guide it on my part, but I think I'm ready for it. It's more suited for my bigger wave, wide sweeping turning style, than is the smaller, lighter board I now have. Truly, I'm getting tired of having to stay on that big ol' mini-malibu of mine whenever I go out just cuz I either can't catch the smaller stuff or get tossed around too much on the smaller board.

I'm hoping that, after the past couple years, my skill level has improved enough so that I can ride well enough, and truly enjoy, this amazing new board. I'm excited.

Okay, I'm gonna go post some new pics from Rote to my Flickr account … and, oh yeah, I should probably give my folks a call to let them know I'm still alive. I'll write more in the next couple days.

Keep an eye or two open for the updates.

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