A Bowl of Stupid

I made it. Past all the gun toting high schoolers roaming the streets of Cebu. Past the ubiqitous hookers of Manila. I made it.

I'm on the island of Siargao in the southeastern Philippines. It is nothing like the rest of the country. It is fantastic from what I've seen so far. 85 degree (F) air and water temperature. Just caught Mahi-Mahi for about .25 cents a kilo. Some pretty world class (and really fast) surf breaks–about 10 within hiking distance.

It's pretty fucking rad.

And, oh yeah …I'm still alive in case anyone was wondering.

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It's been a while since I've posted any music up here … and even longer since anyone other than my girl and the occasional malcontent has read and/or commented this blog.

But for my own well being and state of mind, as well as to remind some of us that I do indeed listen to Ozzie music more than it would appear, I'm posting this song from Australian 'Granola' Band, The John Butler Trio.

Yeah, I know … It's kinda crunchy. It's kinda poppy. It's kinda 'Stuart Smally.'

But it's a really fun, catchy tune. And he's playing a banjo too, so there's that.

The John Butler Trio - Better Than

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Those of you who, to your great misfortune, have been reading this dribble for some time, may recall my discussion several months ago about the movie 'A Crude Awakening' and the phenomenon of 'Peak Oil'.

As noted in that post, the movie shows that the ever-diminishing supply of petroleum will have effects that, to the modern industrialized world, will make global warming itself seem like a walk in the park. According to experts, first will come oil-based political disputes between the West and those areas still producing the larger amounts of oil (cough, cough, … Iraq, Iran, Nicaragua, … cough, cough).

Next come inflated petrol prices, the collapse of international economic markets, and various other economic and political upheavals in (or caused by) those Western countries most reliant on foreign oil (cough, cough … fuck it, you know I mean the US).

Then finally, the utter collapse of Western civilization as we know it.

At this point, if you pay attention to foreign media reports, you can already see where this whole thing is heading. If not, well then … enjoy your turkey, you bloated fucker.

I say 'foreign media' because, as of the time of writing this (early Thanksgiving morning in the U.S.), there are absolutely no significant stories in the U.S. online press (i.e., CNN, MSNBC, Yahoo/AP News, etc.) discussing the issue that seems to dominate all the foreign press today — sky high oil prices and the effect on the global markets.

In contrast, both on TV and in print, BBC World, Yahoo International, and the International Herald Tribune, are at the time of writing, leading with the story of how:

'World equities were hammered Wednesday by soaring oil prices and fears over the global economy, with steep falls in Asia and Europe after volatile trade overnight on Wall Street, analysts said.'

Briefly, for those of you who aren't aware, oil went up to its highest price ever today — just shy of US $100 per barrel. The causes apparently pertain to US 'policies' in West Asia, production issues leading into the upcoming winter months, and, since barrels have always been priced by the US Dollar, which is doing poorly on the international markets, the barrels just ain't worth as much (as it were).

You would think that this, combined with the fact that the UN just published one of its most scathing reports about the state of global environmental issues, would be some cause for concern. Or at least a front page news slot.

I guess not.

Rather, at the time of this writing, in contrast to (what at least I consider to be) this very important global story, CNN America's lead story is … wait for it … wait for it …

'3 charged with causing Natalee Holloway's death.'

What. The. Fuck.

With those fucked up priorities, I'm guessing the new Shrek float in the Macy's Parade will be Wolf Blitzer's lead story on 'The Situation Room' tonight.

This post initially was going to be about how all that shit they talked about in 'A Crude Awakening' may perhaps, despite the recent oil discoveries in Brazil, all be starting to come to fruition.

Indeed, we are, as always, one bad bottle of Tequila away from all-out war in West Asia. We are slipping quickly into a global recession (or at least, a US recession). And, as noted, oil production is down and demand is up - leading to the highest petrol prices in history.

And yet, when I research to find some US media reports on all of this, all I could find there is a stunning investigative report on how workers are inflating the Scooby Doo balloon for Macy's 81st Annual Thanksgiving Day Parade.

For that reason, I didn't go off on the whole 'doom and gloom' scenario … again.

Instead, I went off on the state of the US media … again.

I know some of you may think all I do is sit here and think about ways to bitch about the media and the government back in the States. But I honestly don't see it that way. I don't go looking for this kinda Anti-American type of shit — it just come to me.

Regardless, you may have a point.

I really shouldn't complain about the state of 'journalism' in the US today. Really, the press is only giving the American public what it clamors for.

So, for Americans, that means CNN issuing a breaking report on how the Macy's Day Parade this year will be featuring the cast of "Legally Blonde." Whereas in the rest of the world, it means reporting on how they'll be feeding themselves in the next couple years.

Yep, maybe you guys are right — it's good to be the King.

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As mentioned in my immediately preceding blog post, I just booked a flight to the Philippines (Manila) for this coming Monday morning, where I plan to stay on an extended surfing tour for a month or so before heading further out into the Pacific.

No worries, right? Err, not so fast …

Everyone who booked their surf trip too early, please raise your hand.

I woke up this morning to see on Bloomberg News that Tropical Cyclone 'Mitag' is also scheduled to make landfall in Manila this coming Monday morning (where it too apparently will go surfing).

I've got only one thing to say about that …

Hold onto your hunting falcons, ladies, I think it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Aww crap.

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With a promise to write later this week about my recent adventures in the wily wilds of Northern Thailand and Suburban Massachusetts, I am happy to report I've got an agenda (or what reasonably passes for an agenda for me) as for the next couple months.

I am, for now, leaving the mains of Southeast Asia in favor of traveling to the larger areas that, quite honestly, initially prompted me to leave the States in the first place:

The outer Asian Islands, Oceania and eventually … Polynesia.

And I'm giving up the backpack once again for my surfboards. I'm gonna try to get back into the water, folks (congrats on the arrival of the new little monkey, by the way).

I just booked a flight to the Philippines (I leave for Manila this coming Monday), which is a relatively cheap flight from here, and also apparently has some decent surf spots. I still need to determine where they are … and also where I can go that I won't get shot.

At this point, I've still got a few days to figure that out … or buy some Kevlar, whichever comes first.

I'm not sure just how long I'm going to stay in the Philippines, but from there, I'm heading (tentatively, of course) to the Republic of Palau, in the westernmost Micronesian isles (and where they filmed the first Survivor T.V. show), before heading (again, tentatively) to Guam, where there are also supposed to be some really nice surf spots.

This whole area is supposed to house some absolutely spectacular surfing, and in conditions which one typically associates with the Pacific Islands — succulent green forests, iridescent blue waters, and a truly, truly relaxed atmosphere.

(Photo by Tim McKenna)

Don't get me wrong, I could be completely wrong about this. I could walk into some of these places and experience another Kuta, Bali. Regardless, this time, I will try to not let my preconceived notions get in the way of my enjoyment of the areas and experiences.

As an aside, it's funny that, when I was a kid, I never saw myself going out to these places that were so integral to America's victory in World War II (and which were also the canvas upon which the genius of McHales' Navy was oh so vividly painted).

I must admit, I'm excited about not just visiting the area, but I'm also looking forward to seeing how the American prescience of the last 60 years has shaped itself, the people, and the cultures in this part of the world.

At this point, I really have no idea. And not to sound like an even more ungrateful son of a bitch than I already do after having visited some truly nice places in recent months, but I'm really excited about this. For the first time since I left for Boston, I've actually got my nethers into a froth about traveling somewhere new (albeit obviously for a whole new set of reasons).

Don't get me wrong, I love being here in Asia, and the people, the places, and the cultures I've seen since coming here have been both breathtaking and eye-opening. However, I'm also ready to see something a little different (I hope). Similarly, I still miss KB terribly, too — and wish she were coming with me — but regardless, I'm not gonna let that to diminish my excitement too much in heading out towards these places I've dreamed of going for so long.

I believe in the future. And also, at least I'm gonna be a few hours closer to the frozen tundra of Boston. That's gotta count for something too, right?

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Taking advantage of my brief sojourn into the lands of shopping malls and air conditioned movie theatres, I opted to go to Plaza Singapura the other day to see Robert Redford's latest movie, Lions For Lambs.

I'll leave the more sublime dissection of this glorified ABC After School Special to the professionals.

However, having seen the movie in a 'non-domestic' setting (i.e., outside the U.S.), there are several things about the movie I picked up on that I may not have had I seen it back in the States. I do at least want to mention them.

Of the movie itself, I will say this — despite addressing one of the most polarizing issues in the last 25 years (America's psychopathic, and seemingly unending, rampage throughout East Asia), and boasting the talents of some of Hollywood's best actors — this has got to be one of the most BORING movies I've seen since The English Patient (which means something, considering I too was one of the several hapless victims of 'The Horse Whisperer').

The point I realized there was a problem is when I found myself trying to learn to read Chinese by matching up the sub-titles (standard for all international films shown in Singapore) with the dialogue on the screen. (That didn't go so well, by the way. Unlike Wayne Campbell, I'm having no luck learning Mandarin.)

It really is unfortunate, because the film - at scattered, albeit brief, moments along the way - says everything either that I've said or heard others say in the past 5 years about the Bush Administration, the Mainstream Media, the War in Iraq, and the 'War on Terror' (oh, and how's that 'War on Drugs going, by the way?).

Unfortunately, most of these insightful flashes (positive or negative, depending on your view) are either obfuscated by horrible duologue, marred by formulaic acting, and reduced to parody by script recitation — all of which were seemingly retrieved via a daring rescue of the scraps from the cutting room floor of Star Wars III.

Shit, I never thought I'd say this, but Mannequin Skywalker gave a more nuanced performance than did Meryl Streep in this film.

More disquieting is that the movie is, quite simply, a means by which the studio seemingly berates today's political, media, and social machinery that treats the general public as a bunch of sophomoric high-school students — while at the same time, by and through the preachy, long-winded, convoluted, self-righteous, boring-ass tone of the movie, treats them just as poorly.

Simply put, Lions For Lambs, in my opinion, ironically (unintentionally, in all likelihood) does the same thing of which it complains — talking down to its audience, the general public.

I mean, really … where the fuck does Robert Redford get off telling us about the political, military, and socio-economic ramifications of what's taken place over the past 5 years. And where was he 5 years ago anyway, when it mattered? Making some fucking horse movie?

C'mon, get a grip.

I saw it on the faces of the Singaporean folks as we walked out of the film. They were chuckling to each other, as if to say: 'It's about fucking time. But it's not like you're telling us something the entire world doesn't already know. Really, cuz if you think it's such big news, at least make it more entertaining.'

I agree. As such, I would ask that the next time Robert Redford makes a movie, remind me to bring along an 'English to Chinese' dictionary — at least then I'll have something to keep me occupied.

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'The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.'
-Bob Harris

I know who I am, … And I know what I want, …

And it was called yellow.

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(Me, trekking en route in hills between Chiang Mai and Pai, Thailand)

Okay, after some nice whitewater rafting and trekking in Northern Thailand, and a few solid days of getting really liquored up rock climbing down in Krabi (Southern Peninsular) Thailand, I'm back down in Singapore.

Honestly, it feels really, really good to be back 'home.'

However, it's the first time I've been here in about 2 months and, while I'm glad to be back, it's not quite to 'homecoming' I was hoping for.

My flatmate is moving in with his girlfriend in only a few days.

And I am essentially homeless … again.

I was really looking forward to doing my usual "Singapore R&R" trip - taking a couple of weeks to regroup, get my bearings back, and plan for my next long term excursion. And while another friend has kindly offered to let me crash with him for a bit, I had become used to the prior 'living arrangements' (especially since my mate has been so generous about allowing me to stay with him).

Although I was never on the lease, my flatmate refused to let me pay him a dime towards rent (I was forced to surreptitiously leave money around the flat and then tell him it was his … sorry D), and I only stayed here for 1-2 week stretches, I felt like this place was my home.

I have been traveling the large part of this year for weeks and months at a time, but I always felt like I had a home.

That feeling of 'homeness', I guess, was probably the result of the hospitality and friendship of my flatmate more than anything else — and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Don't get me wrong — my other mate (whom I also like a lot and am grateful too) has generously offered to allow me to crash with him here in Singapore before I leave for my next trip abroad. So it appears I have someplace to stay for now.

However, despite that, and the fact I've gotten to know Singapore fairly well, I still feel a bit lost.

I know what y'all are thinking: 'yeah, that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that."

I feel ya, brotha' … I feel ya.

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For anyone interested, I'm online fore about 10 minutes while in yet ANOTHER departure lounge - airport, bus station, train station … don't ask, I've no idea anymore.

After doing a 3.5 day trek in the hills of norther Thailand (close to Laos border), I returned through Chiang Mai on my way back down to Bangkok, on my way back down to Railay Beach (Krabi) again, on my way home to Singapore, where I'll hopefully be able to spend some time with my mates there.

Okay, gotta go, they're calling my _____ (insert flight, bus, train) now. I should be back in Singapore in about 5 days.

Peace out playas!

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It was just what I needed, actully.

It happened as our truck crawled along the muddy hillside roads outside Chiang Mai, Thailand, as we were being driven up to the dropoff point for today's whitewater rafting trip.

I had a bit of an epiohiny.

Yes, another one, you fuckers.

As background, towards the end of my trip back to the States, I was finding myself again growing extremely bitter in my views towards Westerns (and Americans, in particular) for a variety of reasons - none of which are all that important at the end of the day.

However, the trip back to the States has also led me to consider various aspects of my place in the overall dynamic of global living in the 2st Century. Living in the States is, at the end of the day, not all that different than living abroad.

It's all a matter of keeping — or, in my case, obtaining — perspective.

I realised this today, as I was looking out at the fairly unadulterated tropical landscape full of banana trees, bamboo trees, palms, teak trees, and all variety of crawling vines and bushes — all one would expect from the back-country of Southeast Asia.

I'll try to explain, but I'm not quite sure I can.

When I first arrived in Chiang Mai, my tuk-tuk (taxi) driver assumed by my demeanor that I'd been here before. I think it's cuz I've lost any sense of 'bewilderment' I first had after leaving the States. You see it on the faces of all the mealy, pasty white, backpackers wherever you go … I mean EVERYWHERE.

In relation to living (or returning) to a metropolis like New York, or Philly, I called this getting my 'city legs." (KB calls it the 'Amish boy' factor).

However, that being said … although I've been doing for years and I'm getting quite good at it, I'm tired of playing the pissed-off American know-it-all, claiming that Americans who continue to toil as Joe Banks are doomed to a miserable existence.

I'm also tired of playing the flip-side of that coin, the know-it-all American 'ex-pat' who thinks he's an expert in all things living abroad, and about being a well-healed traveler.

Before I left back for Boston, I think I was viewing my trips abroad — to Costa Rica, Indonesia, Cambodia … wherever — not as a means to discover new places, but only new places to say I've been. The net effect of doing so was to put myself above all the other 'lessor-healed' travelers, but not see them — or myself — in the general equation.

I've been lamenting about the large number of Westerners in these Asian countries the same way I did about all the tourists to Miami Beach when I lived there. However, what can I really expect by going to places that are geared towards tourists?

It's essentially akin to getting pissed-off about having to sit through a Broadway musical after making a special trip to the theatre.

These places exist. They are what they are. As are the people there.

Cie la vie.

You must (or at least, I'm trying to) take these places - and the things and people they each have to offer - for what they are.

Acceptance.

I really shouldn't get mad because there are more tourists circulating through a town in the hills of northeastern Thailand than you'd ever have expected.

And I shouldn't be disturbed by watching Americans sitting atop trained elephants (whom several I saw faintly resemble) in the middle of the jungle just for the snapshot value.

And it's okay that there are developed railways, and freeways, and sprawling metropolises in places you 'thought' had only recently been blessed with the marvel of indoor plumbing.

These things are the way they are. And they'll be that way after I leave. Whether it be Chiang Mai, or Bangkok, or Costa Rica … or Miami and elsewhere in the States.

Each of these places have things to offer. They don't have to be what you've always envisioned them being.

And I really, really, REALLY, must stop trying to impose my views of perfection on them.

The best I can really hope is to try to take as much as possible from whatever 'beneficial uniqueness' remains in the places I'm visiting. By continuing on the path of 'hoping' these places will be as I WANT them to be, I'll simple continue contributing to the problem.

All that being said, however, I still think I reserve the right to get ridiculously exasperated about seeing a group of 20-something Euro-trash girls in some shithole backpacker ghetto-bar all dolled up like they're spending the night out at Crobar.

C'mon, get a fucking grip, you guys. I mean … really.

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Wow, apparently November is the beginning of high, and I mean HIGH, tourist season in Thailand.

After about 30 hours in transit, I arrived safely back in Bangkok. Comically, upon returning to my hotel, the neoprene carrying case that came for my Viao was still waiting for me. Huh, whoda thunkit?

I spent a couple of days in Bangkok - honestly, a couple more than I wanted - for no other reason really other than cuz one of my old friends and his wife are taking their honneymoon in Thailand, and I got to see him and his new wife for about 10 minutes before they went their way and I mine.

Due to scheduling conflicts, I haven't had much more than that with him over the past 4 years anyway - it's funny how patterns maintain themselves.

Anyway, after Bangkok, I took a 14 hour overnight sleeper train (upper lever, no A/C … trying to save money for all the hookers, y'know) up to Chiang Mai. I'd heard that Chiang Mai up in the north towards the 'Golden Triangle' area (the area where THailand, Burma, and Laos intersect) is a great place — rock climbing, white water rafting, hill trekking — and much more low key than Bangkok.

Well, yeah, it is … sorta.

Chiang Mai does have all those really great things going for it. But at the same time, because of those attractions, the whole area is also infested with Westerners. I mean INFESTED!!

Yeah, fFor some reason, I neglected to hear that this whole area - while beautiful - is a complete tourist mecca. Egad.

Oh well, I guess it's just like any other tourist town. C'iest la vie.

I'm gonna do some of the more 'able bodied' activities while here (they've got some Class 4 rapids, some decent back-country hill trekking, and some nice rock climbing formations — indeed, there's tour guide places on every corner, and I've been spending much of my time looking for the ones offering the more formidable activities, as most of them are geared towards the traditional tourist and backpacker sect).

Yes, the locals also seem pretty nice (except, like everywhere, they seem to get a bit sick of tourists from time to time - much like I and other Miami natives did during the high season there). But I really don't think I can stay here much longer.

Having lived in Miami for 7 years, I just can't stomach tourist towns … anywhere.

* P.S. There's no spellcheck, so none of you fucktards give me any shit.

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