A Bowl of Stupid

Hey, whassup. For friends and family who were wondering, I’m still alive. My feet are kinda torn up from walking on some of the reefs I’ve been too, but still holding up for the most part.

I’ll write a detailed thing when I get back to civilization, but for now, here’s the scoop:

Right now, I’m on the Island of Lombok — about 4-5 hours east of Bali by ferry. I’ve been living it kinda ferel for the past week, surfing at a place called “desert point”. I was in Bali for about 3 days (what a shithole), and I’m leaving for Gilly’s now, and then to the next island, Sumbawa, which has some of the most perfect waves in Indonesia, such as Lakey Peak, Periscopes and Supersuck.

I gotta go, but I’ll be back. Hope everyone is well.

“Life is being on the wire, everything else is just waiting.”
– Karl “Papa” Wallenda, High Wire Acrobat

I swear, I’ll write more about my fantastic first trip to Thailand when I get a chance, to the extent I remember them. I promise.

However, today I need to wash cloths, pack up, and get ready to move out for my one (1) month sojourn to Bali. I leave here (Singapore) in about 7 hours, and I still don’t know exactly where on the island I’m going once I get there.

If anyone has any suggestions, I’m listening (Mike G. – I ‘m looking to you for help on this one, kiddo).

I’ve been to other countries where I’ve just kinda “meandered” to the most likely spot to find surf, and then gone to smaller and better places as I’ve spoken to the locals. Given the vast number of Australian (and other) tourists that visit Bali so often, I had been panning on doing that in this case, as well.

However, while I was “discussing the meaning of life” with a couple of topless Israeli girls yesterday on Phra Nang beach in Railay (okay, only one was topless, but I think I saw God while gawking at her perfectly shaped breasts), I learned that Israelis are not even allowed into Indonesia — not even the predominantly Hindu areas like Bali.

This isn’t a problem for me, as I’m obviously not Israeli, and I don’t really consider myself to be Jewish anymore (except when a couple of beautiful Israeli girls on the beach ask me if I am); however, it just put into sharp relief the potential dangers in the area — especially given how the world views Americans in general, right now.

Chez wrote a pretty nice piece on the current state of affairs in this regard. I suggest you take a look, if you haven’t already.

So anyway … fuck it, I’m gonna break down and reserve a hotel room for a few days somewhere cheap in Kuta Beach (the largest surfer/tourist area) until I find some decent surf spots to visit and otherwise get my bearings a bit.

As such, once again, y’all may not hear from me for a few days, but I should have more up in a couple days, if not sooner. Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting (especially you, Osc and Mike O.), and oh yeah …

Sawadee Kap!!

[UPDATED SLIGHTLY]

Okay, so I’m sitting in the airport in Thailand, it’s about 6:00 p.m. local (about 5:00 a.m. EST, I think), my flight doesn’t leave for another 2 hours, so I thought I use the time to catch up.

The main reason I got here so early is that I had to hike a few kilometers to catch a boat to catch a taxi to the airport — and I didn’t really know how efficient the scheduling of the various travel services are. Another reason I got here early was to take advantage of free air conditioning after 5 days of stewing in my own juices (you know what they say “to thine own stew be true”). Finally, I also got here early because I’m still, after all this time, a bit neurotic and I didn’t want to miss my flight back to Singapore and thus miss my flight to Bali tomorrow.

Thailand was great. I went rock climbing, traversing, swimming, caving, snorkeling (sorta), and getting completely snookered – repeatedly. All without permanent injury (for now, it may still be too early to tell).

I will draft up a more detailed post about the entire trip, but suffice to say, I will use the time I now have to list several of the lessons learned on my brief trip to Thailand (in no particular order unless otherwise noted):

1. Given my new preternatural fascination with taking pictures of the places I’ve gone to sow myself and others at a later time, rather than simply enjoying the moments themselves, I learned that these new-fangled digital camera thingies come with things called “batteries”, which apparently new to “recharged” before you go to the Middle of Nowhere, Thailand. As a result, I’ve no pictures from this first trip to Thailand but for a great pic of a huge snail that was lingering on my flip-flop when I woke up the first morning there (the camera then immediately ceased to function, referencing the aforementioned “battery” not being “changed.”)

2. The Thai I met were an extremely diverse people (both racially, having – from my perspective – just as many Asians as darker, Polynesian and Siberian-Slovak people, and religiously, having Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, and Christians), and they seem to an very peaceful folk, coexisting in a way I’ve not personally seen before (especially given all the religious fanaticism that exists in the US more than possibly anywhere else in the world other than the Middle East).

3. “Ladyboys” are not similar to the ever-popular “lady-fingers”; rather, they are transsexuals, of which there are apparently very many in Thailand. However, they are pretty much completely accepted by, and integrated into, the Thai society – an interesting fact given the diverse religious background of the country.

4. I learned the following words/phrases in Thai, in the following order:

– “Sawadee kap” (or “ka” if you’re a girl) essentially means: “Hey, how’s it going” or “whassup.”

– “Singha” is a good, and pretty cheap, Thai lager (beer). (corrected, thanks for catching that, Shark)

– “Gan-gee” means “marijuana.”

– “Aroy” means “good.”

– “Aroy nag nag” means “very good.”

And yeah, thet’s pretty much where I stopped paying attention to the language lessons and realized that I was extremely wasted, sitting on the floor around a table of food and other “stuff” with a bunch of locals on a beach in the Middle of Nowhere, Thailand, and I could see the Milky Way above my with my unaided eyes — for the first time ever.

5. You can get a full body massage for about US$4.00 while sitting on a beach in the middle of Nowhere, Thailand. And although it’s a public beach, I’m pretty sure you could get a “full” massage if you threw the broad an extra 100 baht.

6. You can get the best fucking “pad thai” you will ever taste for about US$1.50 while sitting on a beach in the middle of Nowhere, Thailand.

7. Australian women backpacking through the Far East, in addition to trending towards the “large and beefy” side, they are also pasty, pasty, pasty white.

8. Australian women backpacking through the Far East have a tendency to get really, really, really sunburned after only several hours on a beach in the middle of Nowhere, Thailand.

9. There are way, way, way too many over-indulgent and self-righteous Westerners backpacking their way through Southeast Asia for my taste (but who knows, maybe Westerners taste good to the locals and they’re just lulling us all into a false sense of security – they’ve already gotten the Aussie women to fatten up for holiday dinner; to which I would say “bravo, good sirs, bravo.”).

10. Make sure that when you take a trip to the middle of Nowhere, Thailand, do not — ever — take with you the book “Special Topics In Calamity Physics,” as you will wind up losing your mind, and you will start to write in the manner of its author — writing long, meandering, manic-depressive, meaningless dribble (violated throughout with various parentheticals, unnecessary verbal acrobatics, CAPITALS, and obscure references in a sophomoric attempt to make you appear to your readers that you are smarter than you really are).

UPDATE: As Chris couldn’t quite tell from my stellar use of irony and sarcasm, I fucking HATED that book. If you have a copy, burn it – burn it NOW!

11. If you have a travel blog where you write about the shit you did on vacation and you’ve just read all those lessons, , don’t show up to a Thai airport 2-3 hours too early and update your blog — cuz you’re shit will sound WAAAY too manic and you’ll just wind up losing readers.

12. And finally, … yes, Railay Beach does look as beautiful as in the picture from my last posts — only more impressive.

Despite all my bitching and moaning about how, after 10 years of practicing law, I’ve grown to despise the whole Western capitalist machine grinding people into bitter narcissistic drones, I still just love the work of Fred Wilson, a venture capitalist whose blog is over at A VC In NY.

I’ve written before about some great interwebbing stuff he’s found. But the kid also has a great ear for music, as evidenced by one of his latest posts about The Kings of Leon.

To be honest, I’ve never heard of them before. But after listening to several of their songs – including the one in the below video – I’m with Fred, these guys are fucking awesome, with a promising (albeit probably “money-grubbingly” infused) future.

Kings Of Leon – Trani

I’m heading to Thailand for the weekend (Thursday through Monday), and on Tuesday I head to Bali for a month. To say that I’m pretty stoked would be the fucking understatement of the year.

In Thailand, I’ll be flying into a town named “Krabi” en route to “Railay Beach.” Railay is a small peninsula located between Krabi and Ao Nang accessible only by boat due to the high limestone cliffs cutting off mainland access.

Given the way the place looks in the above picture, I may not be coming back.

Ever.

Railay had some of the best rock climbing in the world which, despite my prior “issues” with the sport, I’m really looking forward to doing again.

From the main airport, for about 200 bahts, I’ll be taking a bus to Ao Nang, a small town up the coast. Depending on when I get there, I may still be able to take a boat to Railay Beach. Otherwise, I’ll probably stay in Ao Nang for the night and boat up to Railay on Friday morning. Continue Reading »

With a few days on my hands before my next move, I went walking around Singapore again yesterday — all day yesterday.

My friend had not taken us through Singapore’s Chinatown on Sunday, but I wound up there yesterday. It is, for obvious reasons, just awesome.

Continue Reading »

After resting and taking a few laps in the pool on Monday, I woke up today by visiting some of my regular online sources for news and entertainment — at which time, I was treated to even more good news.

First and foremost, I saw that finally, FINALLY, saner heads are prevailing down at Gitmo, where on Monday, military judges dismissed charges Monday against 2 Guantanamo detainees. In particular, the courts ruled that, in direct contradiction to the ever illogical position of the Bush Administration, the detainees are “not subject to this commission” under legislation passed by Congress and signed by Bush last year. Thank fucking god. Maybe this signals the first of many steps for the U.S. government to regain whats left of its dignity.

Second, I saw that there is indeed still hope that the upcoming Transformers live action movie may indeed be worth seeing (shit, I knew there was a reason I put them at the top of my MySpace friends list). If the rest of the movie has effects like this stuff, I may even be able to cleanse my mind of the crappy-CGI cryfest that was Spiderman 3.

And finally, there seems to be hope — finally — that we can all live longer, healthier lives with this great new “skin” tightening product (if the advert itself doesn’t completely offend you).

Yeah, I know I’m kinda rehashing my movie reference from yesterday’s post, but it’s for a good reason.

Yesterday evening, we went for a walk around Singapore — from Robertson and Boat Quays, the upscale residential and shopping area where I’m staying (very reminiscent to Miami Beach’s Lincoln Road and Ocean Drive – only better), to the downtown financial district, to the Bay, to the Indoor Stadium and Esplanade areas, and eventually … to Little India.

Per the requests of several people, I’m putting up some pictures. I’ve never been much of a camera person, so I’m not used to taking pictures of things, or even remembering to take the camera with me, for that matter. I feel like too much of a tourist. But I know that’s gotta change if I’m going to accurately document my travels.

I’m working on it.

These first pictures are from the Singapore River, along which we walked for most of the afternoon (to the Bay and Esplanade). Water taxis are in wide use, and are actually great ways to travel the several kilometers around the city’s main areas.

Continue Reading »

After 2 days in Singapore, although I’m settling in, I’m still not fully recovered from the trip here.

Maybe it was the 20 hour flight from Los Angeles. Maybe it’s the fact that I went out until 5 a.m. and 3 a.m. the first two nights here, respectively. Maybe it was the 5 bottles of Chivas Regal I helped down each of those nights with one of my best friend’s best friends (a.k.a., the guy who’s letting me crash in his spare room; a.k.a., my new best friend) and the rest of his ex-pat buddies. Maybe it was the head cold I got from the girl hacking up a lung in the seat adjacent to me on my nightmare flight aboard American Airlines.

Regardless, I don’t feel quite up to snuff. If I did, I would be going to Bangkok tomorrow with my buddy for the week. I may still go there later in the week, but as it now stands, I’m gonna stay here in Sing to relax and take in the city for a few days.

This morning, I went to a supermarket here on Robertson Quay (where I’m staying), where I was absolutely overwhelmed by the different and exotic foods, especially the fruits and vegetables.

The fruit that caught my eye the most was the above-pictured “dragon fruit” (or pitahaya).

Like I said above, I don’t know what it is, what it tastes like, or who came up with the name — but it looks, and sounds like the most bad-ass fruit on earth. Seriously, they couldn’t make up something this creepy looking on an episode of Star Trek.

This new food is the first step of many, I hope, which brings into sharp relief (for me, at least) the differences between the East and the West.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seem some cool foods in the countries in Central and South America; but in the Americas, the same basic foods are eaten, available and similarly prepared as in the US — and most of the west (given that’s where the Latino cultures originated). But here, they have dried/fried cuttlefish as a snack in the “outbox” of the local 7-11, right next to the Kit-Kats, Hershey Bars, and Trident (yes, they do chew gum here).

By the way, if you’re interested, dried/fried cuttlefish snacks taste like something scraped from the bottom of a fishing-bait bucket. Hell, maybe it was.

But there are a number of other great foods that I’ve either never seen, or not had in a long while. I bought more food than I care to describe just to see what they taste like, at a pretty upscale market, and it still only cost me about US$40.00.

It was too much money in the grand scheme of things, but I’m starting to get a sense of pricing — with Singapore being the most expensive place in the area (with Robertson and Clark Quays themselves being among the most expensive areas in the city).

Tomorrow I plan to downsize. I’ll be visiting one of the “hawker centers”, which are big open-air markets where you can get, among other things, a huge bowl of rice noodles and chicken for about $3.00 Sing (about US$1.80).

As an aside, the other main difference that’s caught my eye is that the sizes (meal portions, cars, scooters, … people) are remarkably smaller — even in a vastly metropolitan country such as Singapore. Indeed, I’ve yet to see an SUV or truck anywhere.

Don’t get me wrong, this place is still pretty glutenous as far as cities go, but it’s done in a much more simplified way. It’s like an Eastern attempt at Westernization, much like (although in reverse) the Chinese food you get in the U.S. is a Westernized version of the original.

There’s less water in the toilets, there are less cars on the road, and there’s less food on the plates. They’re just not needed.

I have, however, only been here for a couple days, and I could be completely wrong. But for now, it feels like a great first step for me to take in my ever-growing movement towards simplicity.

P.S. Dragon-fruit looks even cooler in real life than in that picture. Don’t ask me why, cuz I couldn’t tell ya.

P.P.S. In tribute to a friend I didn’t get a chance to meet before I left the States, I’m watching one of my favorite movies today — Big Trouble In Little China (it just seems appropriate, doncha think?).

No, that’s not Miami, but it’s pretty damn close.

I arrived here in Singapore last night at about midnight or so, and then proceeded to go out to a club until 5:00 a.m. or so.

Man, there’s nothing more that I like to do than to fly around the globe for 20 hours before heading out to a club. Damn, I feel just great today.

But here’s the thing …

Singapore is, for the most part, just like Miami. The nightlife, the weather (steamy), the beautiful hi-rises on the water, and a ton, a ton of really hot women.

But, from what i can tell so far, Singapore (and, more importantly, it’s women) doesn’t have that overbearing sense of self-righteousness and pretentiousness that is Miami.

The people are fun, the streets are clean, it’s really safe, it’s not nearly as creepy as I thought it would be (given all the media hyped crazy-strict Sing “law enforcement” of all crimes, great and small), and get this … the crowds are more diversified than in Miami. Shocker, huh?

It’s funny, I had visualized myself taking a cab from the Sing airport and having an epiphany moment staring at the new landscape — just like Bill Murry in Lost In Translation upon first arriving to Tokyo. Sure, I did to some extent; but I found myself watching “Mr. Bean” on the DVD in the taxi because it all seemed so familiar (and because Rowand Atkinson is just that funny too, of course).

I’m sure that will change once I start looking around, definitely. But for now, I’m so glad I’m doing this and I’m wondering why I ever considered otherwise.

P.S. And oh yeah, unlike American Airlines, my 8 hour flight from Tokyo to Singapore onboard Japan Airlines was freaking amazing!

Among other things, the food was better than that which I’ve eaten in most Miami restaurants, and all the AV equipment worked incredibly well (although, unfortunately, this led me to watch Ghost Rider – 1.5 hours of my life I’ll never get back).

Hell, I probably could have gotten a hummer from one of the preternaturally beautiful stewardess if I’d asked.

Really, it was that good.

Man, all I know is that I’m not even in my final destination yet, and I’ve got more fucking material for this blog then I know what to do.

I’m in Tokyo. Nice airport, really clean, really orderly. It’s a bit freaky, really (but not NEARLY as freaky as the 5 older guys from Texas I’m sitting by who are talking about what/who they’re gonna do/buy during their “trip” to Bangkok – ewww).

And unlike Miami, everyone here speaks English! Nice, huh?

Okay, the highlights (or lowlights, if you prefer):

Continuing American Airlines prolific dedication to customer service, the flight to Tokyo was COMPLETELY booked. Not 1 or 2 seats in first class that I could try to flirt my way into … completely booked.

Luckily my neighbors were very accommodating and “non-Americanized” … in that they were not “super-sized.”

However, the personal TV screen for my seat was broken. That would have been nice for the first 10.5 hour leg of the jaunt, but not a deal killer.

What was?

The reading light for my seat wouldn’t turn off.

For over 10 hours.

It was, at one point, the only light on in the passenger cabin. So I had to deal with their brand new, bigger, better, halogen reading light in my eyes (I did have a cool dream about getting blinded during an eclipse, though), and I also had to battle the angry looks from neighbors who thought I was trying to grow “tomatoes” in my row. (in all honesty, though, they later learned of my situation and were very kind about things).

It’s about 16:00 (4 pm) here, about 4:00 a.m. in N.Y. (HI CHEZ and TK!), and I’m about to hop on my flight to Singapore in a few minutes.

I’m feeling pretty good about things, though — it’s operated by Japan Air.

Thanks for the comments, keep em coming, and I’ll keep this shit up until the carpel-tunnel kicks in. I gotta say, despite all this shit, I’m already having a fucking blast and I’m not even in the water yet.

Although that could be because I was able to buy 2 bottles of The Macallan (scotch) and 2 cartons of American Spirits (my cigarettes) here in the Narita Airport — tax free, bitches!!

P.S. Thanks to Courtney, my old neighbor, who came through for me this morning yesterday with that fax. And more importantly, thanks to my old roommate Mike, who drove me from Phoenix to L.A. and then turned his fucking car around and drove right back … in the middle of the night.

God, I love my peeps.